You Know You Raised Your Kids Right When..

[rgoodbb]

Seeing as we have felines not kids - my kitten rolled her first natural 20 and then destroyed all the mini's in one go

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Oofta]

On the other hand, you know something went very wrong when-

Me: Hey buddy, you going over to your friend's house this weekend to play D&D?

Son: Yeah dad! We're starting up a new campaign!

Me: That's great! So, you're looking forward to it? Going to be a good time?

Son: You bet! We have seven players ... and three of them are girls.

Me: That's so amazing. It's great to see that- a lot better than when I was growing up.

Son: Of course. I mean, [name redacted] is probably the best player we have. She knows everything about D&D!

Me: I'm so proud of you.

Son: Yeah, I can't wait to play this Paladin I rolled up. It's my favorite class.

Me: YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE! I should have seen this coming. I should have known that under this, all these past years, you've been building your hate for me piece by piece. I don't even know who you are because you have none of me in you. You're someone else's. This anger, this maliciousness, these backwards dealings with me to learn D&D.

You have none of me in you. You're just a paladin-lover from a basket.




Hmmm... I mean, I might have been a little over-the-top, but you have to nip this in the bud.

If you want to pass along some ... inspirational ... art for you son I'm more than happy to provide something. We can start him off slow, with a more traditional paladin (maybe that updated Paladin in Hell picture) before we get to the more hard core gnomish paladin.

After all, you don't just jump into the awesome splendor of Sir McStabsalot Knight of the Holy Order of the Owl. You have to build up a resistance appreciation of the greatness first.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[André Soares]

We should mail him some special d8 for him to use just with his divine smites

 

[Oofta]

What? Is that some sort of "Gateway Paladin?"


Is there some shadowy figure in the alley, going, "Hey kids, wanna have an oath? First tenet is free, I swear!"

Hey now, my paladins are perfectly legit! No cut-rate goods here I swear! None of that multi-classing diluted holiness here. I hear my competition "enhances" with dips of sorcerer or even warlock.

Not me buddy, just 100% pure holy gnomish goodness. Don't you want your kid to experience pure holy goodness?

 

[André Soares]

Not me buddy, just 100% pure holy gnomish goodness. Don't you want your kid to experience pure holy goodness?

In this day and age, I believe no one wants their kid to experience pure holy goodness

 

[Oofta]

In this day and age, I believe no one wants their kid to experience pure holy goodness

No way man, it's time to like expand their minds, you know? Gnomish paladins are like gnarly, you know what I mean dude?

P.S. you wouldn't happen to have a spare holy text on you, would you? I'm a bit short right now but I promise I'll catch you up with some awesome smites tomorrow after my prayers.

 

[TwoSix]

Hey now, my paladins are perfectly legit! No cut-rate goods here I swear! None of that multi-classing diluted holiness here. I hear my competition "enhances" with dips of sorcerer or even warlock.

Not me buddy, just 100% pure holy gnomish goodness. Don't you want your kid to experience pure holy goodness?

No way, man. I banned my kids from using Youtube once I realized people were splicing videos of paladins into Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. Some things you just can't let your kids see.

 

[Oofta]

No way, man. I banned my kids from using Youtube once I realized people were splicing videos of paladins into Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. Some things you just can't let your kids see.

True. The light of righteousness does shine bright.