How to Tell a GM You're Not Having Fun?

[DemoMonkey]

If just saying to your DM what you said here isn't adequate, go with plan B (Which kind of agrees with ccs and disagrees with TwoSix).

It might be a good idea to just walk face first - roleplaying your characters but not doing any pixelbitching - into whatever meatgrinder the DM has set, and then do it AGAIN with the next set of characters, and THEN have a conversation with them.

"Well... we're all dead. Again. Is this how you were picturing this going?"

Because if they say "Yeah, that was awesome! Traps go woosh!" then they may be a great friend and a lovely person, but they are not the DM for you.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Talk to the GM about the playstyle you enjoy, the things you like to see more of in a game. A GM should always be open to listening to what their players are looking for in a game, but even a good GM may have a hard time with listening to all the stuff people don't like in their games. Taking constructive criticism is a hard skill to develop. So I'd advise trying to start with focusing on the positive. Talk to them about your character, their personality, where you'd like to see them develop, that you'd like to have more opportunities to role play through that with NPCs and other PCs.

But eventually, it may come down to saying "could we quit it with having to scour each 40' dungeon corridor and maybe have some modulation in difficulty," or "we are not enjoying this game," or even just finding another game. I've learned the hard way that good friends do not always make for good people to game with. And sometimes GMs must learn the hard way, if they ever learn at all.

 

[Bayushi_seikuro]

Agree with most of the advice. My only question that might clarify things is -- how much experience does this player have running games? 'Trying a new system he purchased' sounds kinda scary there, even as an experienced GM. I agree too that retreating into minutae tends to be a signal flare of discomfort in running the game.

 

[DemoMonkey]

Retreater

Something occurs to me. Are you starting from a place of assuming that the way your DM is doing it is wrong, and you just need to find a way to show them the error of their ways?

Because...that may not be it. You may have to accept that, from their sincere point of view, the way YOU are doing it is wrong. And you just don't have compatible gaming styles.

 

[Retreater]

Curiously, what's the system?

Old School Essentials

 

[TwoSix]

Because if they say "Yeah, that was awesome! Traps go woosh!" then they may be a great friend and a lovely person, but they are not the DM for you.

`"The real adventure was the traps we found along the way."

 

[Retreater]

Agree with most of the advice. My only question that might clarify things is -- how much experience does this player have running games? 'Trying a new system he purchased' sounds kinda scary there, even as an experienced GM. I agree too that retreating into minutae tends to be a signal flare of discomfort in running the game.

He's run a few games over the years, but not traditionally in our group of players. The "new" system is an OSR system, and he expressed a desire to get back to the "original fun" of the game.

 

[TwoSix]

He's run a few games over the years, but not traditionally in our group of players. The "new" system is an OSR system, and he expressed a desire to get back to the "original fun" of the game.

"Original fun" sure is a great euphemism for "two hours of pixelbitching over a secret door".

 

[Retreater]

Retreater

Something occurs to me. Are you starting from a place of assuming that the way your DM is doing it is wrong, and you just need to find a way to show them the error of their ways?

Because...that may not be it. You may have to accept that, from their sincere point of view, the way YOU are doing it is wrong. And you just don't have compatible gaming styles.

I get that, but several of the players are not having fun. So whether we find some way for all of us to have fun with the game (even if it means he just throws us a session every now and then that we enjoy, switch campaigns/systems/GMs, etc), do a video hangout to stay in touch and not play anything, or whatever, I think it's important that we all enjoy our time together.
From what he told me he wanted to do with the game (fast-paced, rules-lite, "the way we used to play,") he isn't accomplishing that.

 

[DemoMonkey]

"The real adventure was the traps we found along the way."

The spiked pit was inside you all along!