I'll push back a little bit on the idea that there is no way to play badwrongfun RPG games if no one is directly being harmed . . . .
In my first high school game, I was invited to join a group that had been playing together for a while, all dudes. We encounter a group of priestesses on the road, who had knowledge we needed to find the macguffin, and they refused to give us the info. So . . . . the party proceeded to rape, torture, and kill the priestesses to gain the information. I was blown away and disgusted, never went back. Since I was a nerdy, introvert, with low self-esteem and low self-confidence, I also didn't say anything. Made lame excuses later when asked if I was returning for the next game.
This group had no idea I found the idea of raping and torturing horrifying . . . but I strongly feel that even if I had never gamed with them that one afternoon, their playstyle was pretty messed up and most definitely badwrongfun. Even if every one of those guys truly had no problems with that style of play. Their playstyle, in effect before I joined, didn't directly harm me . . . it certainly bothered me and made me pretty uncomfortable . . . and (to my knowledge) didn't directly harm anyone else. But these were some pretty sick and twisted fantasies being played out, and horribly sexist attitudes being perpetuated.
I'm hoping that all of these young men treated the women in their lives much better than they treated the women in their fantasy games, and it's possible, even likely, that they all might be more than a bit embarrassed (maybe even ashamed) now as adults looking back at their teenager behavior . . . but, IMO, that still makes that particular gaming style badwrongfun. So much bad, so much wrong.
If a group of players, of any demographics, is actively promoting racism, sexism, or other ideologies harmful to society at large . . . in their home games, with everybody at the table totally on board . . . badwrongfun. Not that I expect perfection from folks, we're all guilty of falling back into passive racism, sexism, etc, from time-to-time. But when it's an active part of the fantasy . . .
Hopefully what I encountered was rare back in the 80s and even more rare today!