D&D General That one player who cancels at the last day

[Vaalingrade]

I would say absolutely not. A person has to decide what they can prioritize and what they cannot.

But I have chosen to prioritize game time, and I ask anyone else who wants to play in my game to choose to do the same. Otherwise I will not run a game for them. And the moment I sense it is no longer a priority for them, I will ask them pretty directly if they can still make time for the game. And if they can't I may offer alternatives or not, kinda depends on how they've conducted themselves in telling me they no longer can make game time a priority.

It's hard to play D&D from inside a cardboard box on the street. The dice get cocked on the creases and sometimes a rat will steal the crude minis you fashioned out of chicken bones and bread ties.

But hey, PERFECT GAMING ATTENDANCE, am I right?

 

[damiller]

If it's a choice between game and career once in a great while, career is going to win. If that's unacceptable I don't know what to say other than good luck.

Once in a great while? Or every other week? I dont' care. Mostly I am looking to see how the person handles it. If they conduct themselves like an adult and tell me they can't make it regularly any more, great, I'll see if there is anyway I can accommodate them if they want to continue to play.

But if I have to dig it out of them? Goodbye. I no longer have time to beg people to play, I run games online, and I can find other people who I hope can honor the time commitment and at least have the decency to say "I can't play anymore". I cannot control either of these things, but I can control if I continue to run games for a person who can't do at least the former.

It's hard to play D&D from inside a cardboard box on the street. The dice get cocked on the creases and sometimes a rat will steal the crude minis you fashioned out of chicken bones and bread ties.

But hey, PERFECT GAMING ATTENDANCE, am I right?

Then my game isn't for that person. I have zero problem with someone prioritizing anything else BUT my game, or any game, or anything. They just don't get to be in my game. I am not running a game for the players to show up whenever they like, I am not a video game or a movie. I put in the time and I want players who can choose to do the same. Can't do that, that's fine, but I am not obligated to run a game for that person. And I no longer will. That person will find another game, and quickly.

 

[Thomas Shey]

The person missed one session and let the DM know they couldn't make the next week. It's not even close to one in two sessions as far as I can tell.

And my comment was a spin-off, not a reference to the OP's specific complaint. It was just noting that at some point if your life doesn't permit specific time commitments, don't make them. And what those time commitments are can very from campaign to campaign.

(I also think at the very least if its likely you'll have to pull the plug at the last minute from time to time its only civil to let someone know that. That doesn't mean it can't happen anyway (car breakdown, sudden health issue, whatever) but if its intrinsic in your job situation that it can occasionally come up, its something you should let the GM know).

 

[Bird Of Play]

I think we all are obviously on the same page: family and work (not to mention obvious sudden and unforeseeable events) above all; deciding you'd rather go to a football match or watch a film is a big no.

My disappointment at the player all started for thinking he was claiming reason A but it was actually reason B.
Which is why I think it'd be fair to make it clear that the reason you couldn't come really was honestly something important. And here we are not all on the same page anymore, because some people in the comments suggested that players do not owe any explanation if they have to suddenly cancel at the last minute.
True, but if you can't give me an explanation, I'm just gonna assume it's probably an excuse, even if it's not....

 

[lingual]

I think we all are obviously on the same page: family and work (not to mention obvious sudden and unforeseeable events) above all; deciding you'd rather go to a football match or watch a film is a big no.

My disappointment at the player all started for thinking he was claiming reason A but it was actually reason B.
Which is why I think it'd be fair to make it clear that the reason you couldn't come really was honestly something important. And here we are not all on the same page anymore, because some people in the comments suggested that players do not owe any explanation if they have to suddenly cancel at the last minute.
True, but if you can't give me an explanation, I'm just gonna assume it's probably an excuse, even if it's not....

I've played with 100 percent attendance and players' interest in the game can wax or wane depending on their situation. That's why I now try to recruit players until I hit 5 or 6. Someone can disappear for a few months cuz they are just going thru a tough time and It can be weird in an involved storyline and such but that's a compromise I can make. It all depends on personal preferences. Certainly does help if they tell you beforehand though.