no ... just no
trying to say you have some handed down on high truth that proves a diffrent way of playing wrong is not helping at all
We're starting to get on the same page. So I am not suggesting your way of playing is wrong. (At least not yet. I reserve the right to do so once I figure everything out.) I haven't even figured out exactly what your process of play is, and that process of play is only likely to be wrong if it doesn't actually fit the aesthetics of play of your players. For example, you're strongly trending with your description toward a process of play that doesn't prioritize Challenge as an aesthetic of play at all (even more suggested by the fact you describe yourself as Lenient), and that's fine - unless you have players that would really enjoy Challenge more often and your table style is denying them that.
great. I don't care what amount of detail the player gives I care how well they can climb (and if it matters)
So what do you mean by that? For example, if the player says, "I have a grappling hook. Can I throw that to the top of the wall and use the rope to gain some advantage?", do you respond, "No. I don't care how much detail you give. I only care how well your character can climb."? Because I'd guess what you actually mean is only, "I don't care how well you the player know how to climb, and I'm not going to give your character an advantage in climbing if you do."
yes but if someone asked to climb the sheer blank surface it would trigger (what I say all the time) "wait what, why?"
That's another form of railroading. You are rejecting player propositions if you don't think that they are good propositions. Rejecting propositions is a form of taking away player agency. You may well have good reasons for doing that such as keeping the game going, but that is railroading.
As for the answer to your question, because the ivy could be poisonous, the tree could be carnivorous, and the carved stone wall with its projections could be hiding traps. But you, by answering, "Wait what, why?" have just given me a huge amount of information about the scene out of character that I will now use to metagame.
no but I would only set the DC for the easiest unless a player gave me a good reason to try a harder one.
So in absence of specificity, you are deciding for the player what they do? Again, taking abstract propositions and making them concrete using knowledge the character couldn't have is another form of railroading. You decided which wall the player climbed on their behalf rather than asking the player for some more specific proposition so that you wouldn't have to decide that as a GM (thereby playing their character for them). Again, I'm not saying you are wrong to do so, I just want you to be aware of what you are doing.
yes... some choices cann grant advantage. off the top of my head 'aid another' and in some games I play in (but not ever ones I run) flanking.
No the fact that flanking can't give advantage in your game is really interesting. Like that is not only a process of play, but a house you seem to have adopted to reduce the role of player skill in the game. I think it really interesting that the only choice you seem to be happy with granting an advantage is a Move (aid other).
again... in the situation were there is an easy way and a hard way and someone says they want to take the hard way I will ask out of game why and if they are sure, then let them take the harder route... I will defualt to the easy route if not.
Again, railroading. I don't mean that pejoratively. I mean that as an exacting description of what you are doing. See my essay for times when railroading is a good process of play, and I leave it up to the GM to decide how much they want to lean into those techniques.
I am not looking for prefect 100% character... I just want to maximize the amount of character and minimize the amount of player.
And this is the statement you made that I think indicates we are starting to meet in the middle. As long as you are talking about quantities of character versus player skill, that's a valid discussion. As soon as you start saying you perfectly 100% want to take player skill out of the game, it's at that point you are stating an impossibility. But if you only mean, "I want player skill to matter as little as is practical", then I understand you.
and it isn't railroading (but it is sometimes helping players remember lore or facts or mechanics)
And again, if you are quarreling with the player proposition for reasons of outcome, it's a form of railroading. I'm mostly interested at this point in whether you know you are railroading and accept that as a valid play style because you enjoy the benefits of it more than you enjoy the lost aesthetics of play implied by that
neither of us will stop the player from trying if they want... but we will warn "this is what you would know"
Which is fine, and I cite this of an example where railroading a player can be justified. But the truth is, it's very hard to separate "This is what your character would know" from telling the player what to do. At some point the player is going to start metagaming you as a GM hard having learned you have that quirk, looking for the thing you are giving approval for. Or to put it another way, they'll start trying to figure out what you think will work based on all the out game information you are leaking to them the player, and they'll just do that. After all, if there are rails, the best move is often to just sit back and enjoy the ride.