D&D General Advice for DMing for children

[Piperken]

Definitely plan not to have animals and children around for "fighting". I may or may not have humanoids? Probably?

I don't recall which game I came across this, but one suggestion with pets is they automatically run away (perhaps to hide) if they take a killing blow; then return when the fighting is complete.

 

[Koloth]

From a player's perspective that has played with younger kids:
2nd the idea that you are the GM. Another adult needs to be the parent/guardian. The 2nd adult handles the "I want a drink/snack." "I need to pee..." "I am bored..." stuff. A GM doing parenting stuff is a distracted GM.
Attention span. Younger generally equals shorter. Don't spend a lot of time on prep at the table. Try to get that done prior. If you spend 20 minutes on one kid's character, good chance some of the rest will give up.
Phones/devices. Some will have them. Best if they can be turned off and handed to the Parenting adult. Otherwise you are contending with the device for the kid's attention while the others are getting bored.
Discuss with the parents about content. Adjust your game for the most G rated common denominator. Be prepared to deal with kids that go more R rated then you planned.
While you are talking with parents, establish what the parents are expecting for their money.
Get some cheap dice sets to loan/give the kids. Also a notepad and pencil. Maybe even some colored pencils. Decent chance that at least one of the kids will want to draw out a character or scene. Gives the kid something game related to do when others have the spotlight.

 

[Clint_L]

Finally, I think any adventure can be made all-ages if you just sand off the adult stuff. You could go the Nintendo jRPG route and Taverns serve "juice" instead of alcohol. A brothel could just be a girls' school.

Yeah, no. That just makes it MUCH creepier.

 

[Clint_L]

From a player's perspective that has played with younger kids:
2nd the idea that you are the GM. Another adult needs to be the parent/guardian. The 2nd adult handles the "I want a drink/snack." "I need to pee..." "I am bored..." stuff. A GM doing parenting stuff is a distracted GM.

I'm sorry but I have to be completely blunt: this is TERRIBLE advice. Do not do this. This will completely undermine your authority. Chaos will ensue. Speaking here from decades of experience as a DM, parent, running D&D Club at a school, and especially as a teacher. If you're in charge, be in charge and responsible. Your primary responsibility is ALWAYS the welfare of the kids. If you're not up to it, don't do it.

This is like suggesting a teacher teach a lesson while a parent minds the children's behaviour, or a coach run a practice with the help of a minder, etc. Disastrous.

Attention span. Younger generally equals shorter. Don't spend a lot of time on prep at the table. Try to get that done prior. If you spend 20 minutes on one kid's character, good chance some of the rest will give up.

Be prepared, on the other hand, is always excellent advice!

Phones/devices. Some will have them. Best if they can be turned off and handed to the Parenting adult. Otherwise you are contending with the device for the kid's attention while the others are getting bored.

Agreed, except for the parent part. You're the parenting adult, so tell them to put their devices away (unless using DDB, though with this age I would go with simple character sheets because they will almost inevitably be drawn to their device for non-gameplay reasons). Don't make it a debate.

Discuss with the parents about content. Adjust your game for the most G rated common denominator.

I wouldn't ever discuss it with the parents unless they have questions, but I'm a trained and experienced teacher, so I have confidence in my ability to gauge what is appropriate. If unsure, asking parents is one option, but you'll get a ton of different answers and often they know a lot less than they think they do.

Be prepared to deal with kids that go more R rated then you planned.

"No" and "Stop" are very effective. Delivered kindly but firmly. And then move on. Don't belabour the issue and give it life.

While you are talking with parents, establish what the parents are expecting for their money.

What? No. Tell them what they are getting for their money. In advance. Know your parameters in advance and be firm. Parents are always trying to find exceptions and assert control.

Get some cheap dice sets to loan/give the kids. Also a notepad and pencil.

Great suggestions!

Maybe even some colored pencils. Decent chance that at least one of the kids will want to draw out a character or scene. Gives the kid something game related to do when others have the spotlight.

Eh...this is not much better than handing them a phone, for some kids. I would take the coloured pencils away when you aren't specifically doing an art exercise, like illustrating their characters.

 

[Koloth]

I'm sorry but I have to be completely blunt: this is TERRIBLE advice. Do not do this. This will completely undermine your authority. Chaos will ensue. Speaking here from decades of experience as a DM, parent, running D&D Club at a school, and especially as a teacher. If you're in charge, be in charge and responsible. Your primary responsibility is ALWAYS the welfare of the kids. If you're not up to it, don't do it.

Guess we will have to disagree on this one. GM of course has the final authority. But having a 2nd adult to assist can be a huge time saver. If the GM has to choose between a kid going "I have to pee, where's the bathroom?" and leaving the rest of the kids unattended, what do you suggest? Or one of the kids says "I want a hamburger NOW!" and the nearest burger place is 5 doors down from the FLGS? I have been in games where the GM was also playing primary parent and saw an 8 hour game slot turn into 2 hours net of gaming. Maybe you are a far better kid wrangler then most folks.

And as far as establishing what the parents are expecting for their money, part of that is just how much authority the parents are ceding to the GM during the run of the game. This GM is basically entering into a Service for Hire contract and had better have everything clear before accepting the job. As a teacher, a lot of that is defined for you in your employment contract and local school policies and procedures.

 

[Clint_L]

Guess we will have to disagree on this one. GM of course has the final authority. But having a 2nd adult to assist can be a huge time saver. If the GM has to choose between a kid going "I have to pee, where's the bathroom?" and leaving the rest of the kids unattended, what do you suggest?

Letting the 8-12 year go to the bathroom by themselves. They do it every day. If the kids are so young that they cannot go potty by themselves, they are not ready to be playing D&D outside of a family situation.

We definitely disagree on this one, but I think every teacher and coach will agree with me: the last thing you need or want is a parent becoming the de facto authority figure instead of you. The kids won't mind you at all if you do that.

Or one of the kids says "I want a hamburger NOW!" and the nearest burger place is 5 doors down from the FLGS? I have been in games where the GM was also playing primary parent and saw an 8 hour game slot turn into 2 hours net of gaming. Maybe you are a far better kid wrangler then most folks.

Probably, considering that I do it professionally, but my answer to that specific situation is "no." But I also would NEVER schedule an eight hour game with 8-12 year olds. Why would you do that? My God.

If doing more than an hour, you need scheduled breaks where they can get up, move their bodies, eat, drink, pee, chat, whatever. Even with breaks, I would not go over four hours total of D&D, especially if these aren't your own kids.

And as far as establishing what the parents are expecting for their money, part of that is just how much authority the parents are ceding to the GM during the run of the game. This GM is basically entering into a Service for Hire contract and had better have everything clear before accepting the job. As a teacher, a lot of that is defined for you in your employment contract and local school policies and procedures.

Yes, but set it up in advance and don't negotiate. You're taking care of children. You have significant ethical and legal responsibility. This is not a thing you can half-ass, make exceptions on, etc. Parents are always trying to make exceptions.

Where I teach, and I suspect in most places, teacher responsibilities are actually set out by law; here in BC they are part of the School Act. Local districts and independent schools build on that and offer clarification. We also have to have regular criminal record checks, and our responsibilities to some extent extend beyond the school day. It's a whole thing.

Running a D&D Club at the local FLGS is obviously a different order of magnitude. However, you still are taking on responsibility and need to be prepared for what that entails, same as if you are coaching a team or running Scouts, etc. And that FLGS really should be doing criminal record checks or they are both irresponsible and incredibly liable, and I wouldn't let my child attend unless I knew the DM personally and felt confident vouching for them.