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Heh... reminds me of what a friend who used to play a tank would say after getting creamed by a bunch of mooks.
"A little help here? I just lost about 8 bards worth of blood."
Heh, you could give Black Peter magic gloves, whose abilities I have not yet decided, but whose name I have: "Gloves of Sacking and Whacking".
There, the gauntlet has been thrown... what do the gauntlets do, and how are they priced?
Whereas Black Peter, as he's most commonly seen in eastern Germany, could be created by equipping a drunken lvl 1 Commoner with a hickory stick, a burlap sack, a bible, and a couple of oranges for the lucky children.
Just like MTA Chairman Kalikow has to be able to drive a subway? Nah... the fat man is responsible for delivery and production management... not the production itself. If the so called "elves" went marxist on him, he'd have to give out coal (unless the "elves" also man his mines... though that...
In the Colossus role: I've seen it done as a ranged attack with an improvised weapon that is sized too large for them.
In the Wolverine role: It's a melee charge that provides additional falling damage to both the target and the attacker... though the attacker gets the benefit of a jump roll to...
So, naturalists observe, a flea Has smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller still to bite 'em, And so proceed ad infinitum. Thus every poet in his kind Is bit by him that comes behind.
-Jonathan Swift