Session 5 (6/4/2003) Brother Cooper's Free Time
Session 5 (6/4/2003) Brother Cooper's Free Time
Brother Cooper removed his hat, and sat down wearily in the back pew. After a moment, he stared up at the cross. The church was deserted, and quiet. The cloudy morning sun offered only pale washed out colors filtered like dying leftovers from the stained glass windows, and the room felt far too big and far too empty.
“I’m scared, Lord.”
The sound of his own voice surprised him. He hadn’t even meant to speak out loud. But still, maybe that was better. At least some sound to break the silence in that big empty room. He took a quick glance around the room to ensure he was alone, then turned back to the cross.
“Um…right…so, I’m scared. I’m…not really ready for all of this, Lord.”
His collar felt too tight, and he tugged at one side and swallowed.
”I know, I know, I’ve been saying for just about forever that I’m here to serve you, and I ain’t backing off that. I mean, my life is yours to do with as you please. But, Lord…I’m not a warrior. I’m…just a good salesman. ”
The cross was silent. Guyzell averted his eyes. He felt like a fool, whining over his own problems while staring at a figure in such misery.
“Am I just whining, Lord? I mean, I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. You gave me these gifts. You made me who I am. You made me a good leader. Your spirit moves me to speak, your gift of …inspired speech makes my words mean something to my congregation. You made me a speaker, Lord. ”
Brother Cooper took a slow deep breath. He leaned forward in the pew, resting his elbows on the pew in front of him, and folded his hands together. He leaned his forehead into his hands. When he spoke again, it was in a whisper.
“You made me a speaker, Lord, not a warrior. I know, I know, Lord, I made a promise to you. From the day I saw that evil…thing in Frankenhowser’s basement, I promised I would fight your enemies for you. But even then, Lord…”
He swallowed, and brought his eyes up to the cross again, resting his chin on his knuckles.
“…even then, Lord, I guess I didn’t think you would use me like this. I don’t understand. I don’t understand why…how you can give me this gift of a glib tongue and then set me up for a life of preaching, and then put me here, in a situation like this, where my tongue is not what is needed. Where, instead…you need a warrior. Someone with a gun and the courage to use it, and I don’t know what else. Something I am not, Lord. Something I don’t have…”
His words trailed off into silence, and he found himself just sitting quietly, staring alternately at the cross, and then down again at the floor.
A cell phone ring cut through the silence.
Brother Cooper hated cell phones in the church. Normally, he turned his own off as soon as he entered the sanctuary. But this week, he found himself using that phone again and again for emergencies, and he had decided to leave it on.
He turned around and picked up the cell phone from beside him on the pew. He flipped it open and answered, “Hello?”
“Ah-lo? Guyzell? Zis is you, yes?”
“Yes, this is me, John.”
“Goot, Goot. Guyzell, I have been studying ze information you have sent me. I believe I know vat is happening.”
“Really?”
“Da! Unt Guyzell, you vill need to make some holy water. You are going to have a fight on your hands.”
Guyzell closed his eyes.
A long moment passed.
“Guyzell? Ah-lo? Are you still zere?”
Another moment passed. A decision was made.
“Yes, I’m still here.”