One Thousand Ways to Freak Out Your Players
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Moe Ronalds
First Post
976) Have a wise, old goblin epic-level paladin NPC with extremely poor grammar appear in a game.
977) Introduce the powerpuff girls into your game.
978) A god of humor with funny hair named Jeraysahnfeld.
979) No matter what game you're playing, somehow find a way to translate a character from one game into that system. For example, in an immortal's campaign, make him the god of the sun. Then in malls and morons, make him to owner of a tanning spa. Always give him the same name, title, and looks, even when it would be ludicrous to do so (Argrunk the burly highest level soldier in the king's army for D&D turned into Argrunk the fry cook for Malls and Morons for example)
980) Every session be sure to make at least one reference to the "Dungeons and Dragons" skit from Dr. Demento
My players cry themselves to sleep at night.
977) Introduce the powerpuff girls into your game.
978) A god of humor with funny hair named Jeraysahnfeld.
979) No matter what game you're playing, somehow find a way to translate a character from one game into that system. For example, in an immortal's campaign, make him the god of the sun. Then in malls and morons, make him to owner of a tanning spa. Always give him the same name, title, and looks, even when it would be ludicrous to do so (Argrunk the burly highest level soldier in the king's army for D&D turned into Argrunk the fry cook for Malls and Morons for example)
980) Every session be sure to make at least one reference to the "Dungeons and Dragons" skit from Dr. Demento
My players cry themselves to sleep at night.
s/LaSH
First Post
982: I Am The Chosen One!
In a campaign replete with destiny and powerful heroes walking the Earth, begin to drop hints about a so-called 'Chosen One' who will vanquish evil etc. Mentions of the prophecy are carved on the walls of ancient ruins; astrologers mention it at strange times; evil cults attack pregnant women to find the 'Chosen One' and stop them from attaining their destiny.
Eventually, single out a PC (or all of them) and reveal that they are The Chosen One. (They draw the sword from the stone or something like that.) Encourage them to use this fact to their advantage (saying 'I am the Chosen One!' gives them bonuses to Intimidate or attack rolls, for example).
And when they've gotten used to this, introduce a mysterious figure as an antagonist. They don't have to be evil, just spooky. When the Chosen One confronts them, and declares "I am the Chosen One!", the mysterious figure just says this:
"I am the one who chose."
Proceed to make the Chosen One feel very small.
In a campaign replete with destiny and powerful heroes walking the Earth, begin to drop hints about a so-called 'Chosen One' who will vanquish evil etc. Mentions of the prophecy are carved on the walls of ancient ruins; astrologers mention it at strange times; evil cults attack pregnant women to find the 'Chosen One' and stop them from attaining their destiny.
Eventually, single out a PC (or all of them) and reveal that they are The Chosen One. (They draw the sword from the stone or something like that.) Encourage them to use this fact to their advantage (saying 'I am the Chosen One!' gives them bonuses to Intimidate or attack rolls, for example).
And when they've gotten used to this, introduce a mysterious figure as an antagonist. They don't have to be evil, just spooky. When the Chosen One confronts them, and declares "I am the Chosen One!", the mysterious figure just says this:
"I am the one who chose."
Proceed to make the Chosen One feel very small.
demiurge1138
Inventor of Super-Toast
This is my first post, so be patient.
984: (Inspired by Dragon 300) Tell the PCs that the town where they are staying has been plagued by rust dragons. Occasionally have entire blacksmiths and armories decimated by "flyby rustings".
985: Apply personality traits of evil characters to helpful NPCs. Even if the king's adviser is always aiding the party and once saved them from death, if he wears all black and laughs at inoppurtune moments, the party will be severly un-nerved.
986: Paragon kobolds. Lots of paragon kobolds.
Demiurge
984: (Inspired by Dragon 300) Tell the PCs that the town where they are staying has been plagued by rust dragons. Occasionally have entire blacksmiths and armories decimated by "flyby rustings".
985: Apply personality traits of evil characters to helpful NPCs. Even if the king's adviser is always aiding the party and once saved them from death, if he wears all black and laughs at inoppurtune moments, the party will be severly un-nerved.
986: Paragon kobolds. Lots of paragon kobolds.
Demiurge
Last edited:
Creamsteak
Explorer
So close it burns doesn't it?
987: "Accidently" let the players think your using a random encounter table. Then "Accidently" let the players see the random encounter table. In slot 100 on d% have the word "Azathoth" Written there. He's a fricken DR 20 CR 50 72 HD God... and as far as your group needs to be concerned he should be "just another random encounter."
The explanation I give, for why it could be random is this: "It dwells beyond normal space-time at the center of all existence, where its amorphous body writhes unceasingly to the monotonous piping of a flute." Quoted from the Call of Cthulhu group.
Actually, if your running a level 50 game... you stand a slight chance to kill Azathoth... if you can do about 1500 damage a round and can keep your health over 750.
Edit: Ah, and lo! Look good sir, by random probability, the post to mention our good lord Azathoth was the 666th post in the thread! Ha, lo, tis true power our master has over these mortals!
987: "Accidently" let the players think your using a random encounter table. Then "Accidently" let the players see the random encounter table. In slot 100 on d% have the word "Azathoth" Written there. He's a fricken DR 20 CR 50 72 HD God... and as far as your group needs to be concerned he should be "just another random encounter."
The explanation I give, for why it could be random is this: "It dwells beyond normal space-time at the center of all existence, where its amorphous body writhes unceasingly to the monotonous piping of a flute." Quoted from the Call of Cthulhu group.
Actually, if your running a level 50 game... you stand a slight chance to kill Azathoth... if you can do about 1500 damage a round and can keep your health over 750.
Edit: Ah, and lo! Look good sir, by random probability, the post to mention our good lord Azathoth was the 666th post in the thread! Ha, lo, tis true power our master has over these mortals!
Last edited:
Lucius Foxhound
First Post
988: Have a high level illusionist hunt the party, constantly casting illusions of monsters for the party to fight. Give the illusionist Greater Spell Focus and Fox's Cunning spells to make the DC for the illusions impossibly high. After they defeat, oh, 20 or so seemingly powerful monsters (who never seem to do any real damage to the party, but react appropriately to all the wounds they do to them) and reach the end of the adventure, tell them they get no experience points since everything they fought was an illiusion.
The Sigil
Mr. 3000 (Words per post)
989. The PCs find themselves in a village where the main foods are all cabbage derivatives. You know, cole slaw, sauerkraut, stuffed cabbage, salad with cabbage instead of lettuce, and so forth. As the PCs exit town, they see the local farmers toiling in the cabbage fields. A cart loaded with cabbage rolls by them - let them see the little heads and arms attachd to the cabbage (patch kids). Or maybe this belongs in the book of Vile Darkness...
990. Bust out your old 1e or 2e DMG - all spells now work just like a wand of wonder.
991. When the PCs confront the big evil bad guy, have him only speak in pleasant whispers - though he utters the cliche BEBG stuff like, "why am I constantly surrounded by idiots?" and "when I complete this, the world will be mine!"
992. When the PCs confront the BBEG, they find a construct. After beating it to a bloody pulp, the head falls off the construct, revealing a mouse with a large head. ("Whadd're we gonna do tonight, Brain?")
993. When the PCs arrive to game, let everyone sit down around the table. Then say, "okay, now everyone pass your character sheets and dice one place to the right."
994. When the PC to your left tries to pass his character sheet and dice to the PC at your right, stop him and say, "oh, no" - then take his character sheet and give the PC at your right the DM screen and all the trappings.
995. Have 'random draw a character night' - everyone makes five characters and then everybody throws the character sheets into a pile and you have each PC draw one sheet from the "deck" and play that character. Repeat with each session (works best over the long term).
996. Announce to the PCs that their characters have been thrown through a dimensional vortex. Put them on Rifts earth. Naked. With D&D power, not Palladium power, in their spells.
997. Set all the clock alarms in the house to go off at exactly the same time - preferably about an hour into the session. Jump up and scream, "trap! trap! You weren't fast enough!"
998. Ask the PCs to dress "in character" for Halloween. Answer the door in the leather spider getup of a drow priestess.
999. Speak entirely in Pig Latin. The whole session. Don't explain yourself.
1000. Invite Colonel Pladoh over - or if you can't get him, get some older uncle - and introduce the PCs as they arrive to "Gary Gygax, creator of D&D." Explain that he's just going to watch the session to see how D&D has changed over the years. About halfway through the session, the alarms go off (see #997) and Gary (or faux Gary) feigns a heart attack. Freak out. Tell your players that you have to find a place to dump the body, as if anyone ever found out you killed THE Gary Gygax, the ENWorlders would have your head.
As a bonus...
1001. Tell the PCs that you will be running a Bluffside campaign, hosted by THG_Hal - and that he will be doing it in the manner alluded to on Mortality Radio - as "buff in Bluff." Or perhaps invite the Mystic Eye over too (not the people, just that spooky eye).
Hooray! One Thousand!!!
--The Sigil
990. Bust out your old 1e or 2e DMG - all spells now work just like a wand of wonder.
991. When the PCs confront the big evil bad guy, have him only speak in pleasant whispers - though he utters the cliche BEBG stuff like, "why am I constantly surrounded by idiots?" and "when I complete this, the world will be mine!"
992. When the PCs confront the BBEG, they find a construct. After beating it to a bloody pulp, the head falls off the construct, revealing a mouse with a large head. ("Whadd're we gonna do tonight, Brain?")
993. When the PCs arrive to game, let everyone sit down around the table. Then say, "okay, now everyone pass your character sheets and dice one place to the right."
994. When the PC to your left tries to pass his character sheet and dice to the PC at your right, stop him and say, "oh, no" - then take his character sheet and give the PC at your right the DM screen and all the trappings.
995. Have 'random draw a character night' - everyone makes five characters and then everybody throws the character sheets into a pile and you have each PC draw one sheet from the "deck" and play that character. Repeat with each session (works best over the long term).
996. Announce to the PCs that their characters have been thrown through a dimensional vortex. Put them on Rifts earth. Naked. With D&D power, not Palladium power, in their spells.
997. Set all the clock alarms in the house to go off at exactly the same time - preferably about an hour into the session. Jump up and scream, "trap! trap! You weren't fast enough!"
998. Ask the PCs to dress "in character" for Halloween. Answer the door in the leather spider getup of a drow priestess.
999. Speak entirely in Pig Latin. The whole session. Don't explain yourself.
1000. Invite Colonel Pladoh over - or if you can't get him, get some older uncle - and introduce the PCs as they arrive to "Gary Gygax, creator of D&D." Explain that he's just going to watch the session to see how D&D has changed over the years. About halfway through the session, the alarms go off (see #997) and Gary (or faux Gary) feigns a heart attack. Freak out. Tell your players that you have to find a place to dump the body, as if anyone ever found out you killed THE Gary Gygax, the ENWorlders would have your head.
As a bonus...
1001. Tell the PCs that you will be running a Bluffside campaign, hosted by THG_Hal - and that he will be doing it in the manner alluded to on Mortality Radio - as "buff in Bluff." Or perhaps invite the Mystic Eye over too (not the people, just that spooky eye).
Hooray! One Thousand!!!
--The Sigil
Mathew_Freeman
Adventurer
#1000 deserves a special place all of its own. That is an incredible idea. I wonder if he'd ever agree to do it? (Someone else ask him, I'm too scared!)
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