Help needed - interesting crypt encounters

I once drove my players crazy by describing the walls of the scary tomb they entered as red. And then repeating that as often as I could. "Red walls. Red. Red red red red red. Blood red. No, you don't find any traps. Red walls. Like a sheet of blood. Red blood. Ahead of you, you see a passage leading off to the red, I mean right. It's the same width as the passage you're in now. Yes, the walls are red. Did I mention red yet?" And so on.

How about a ghoulish smart-aleck "Dungeon Master" that tells stories with pun-laden exposition?

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