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Lies My Monkey Told Me Well, "lies" may be too strong. But for someone who apparently lives in fear of being first in a long chain of Shasts, my familiar certainly hasn't hesitated to portray his human companions in an unflattering light. (The fear is perfectly ridiculous, by the way. Goats...

Setting the record straight Shast, Shast, Shast. What will that monkey get up to next? It's endearing how he keeps smuggling paper and ink around and thinks I won't realize he's up to something. He must have known it was only a matter of time until I found someone who would read me these...