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I know. I just couldn't resist the opportunity to make a joke.

Okay, Joe, the Bull Thistle hits you with an, uh, thistled arm for 2d4 damage. And it hits you again, with another thistled arm for, lets mix this up, 3d3-1. Then it chomps you with its thistled maw, dealing, um . . . 1d10+2 . . . no, I mean 1d12 + 1 . . . wait 1d4+1d6+1d3. Yeah, that's got it.

The other mystery to answer is why is room 27 almost, but not quite symmetrical? Is it perhaps, actually perfectly symmetrical, but the missing space is hiding on another plane, in another dimension? Yes. And that's where the treasure is kept.

He was more Warlock than Paladin, though, so he didn't have the nice aura.

I never saw a problem with it up to level 9. We were all happy to hover near the party paladin (when fireballs and breath weapons weren't threatening). And I never saw anything that looked like a drop off in wanting his Protection. I mean, facing one monster with multiattack is no different in...

My preferred solution is to dominate them.

Speaking of floating boats . . . I later remembered that I have have put significant effort into figuring out how the tides flow in the caverns of my megadungeon. Like, I wound up looking up the speed of the current at various points along the Niagara River (specifically above the falls, and...

It looks balanced enough, going by your comparisons. Especially if you were open to your DM modifying it in the future if it turned out poorly (too strong or too weak), I'd readily go with what you got were I your DM.

. . . I really want to jokingly say "whatever floats your boat" but I don't know if boats even float in this brave new Thule of yours :heh:

Aye. I'd much rather my DM put that time and effort toward stocking the dungeon.

I remember watching the first season of Criminal Minds several years ago. Well, the first couple episodes of the first season. I thoroughly did not enjoy the opening scenes of each episode, which just felt to me like the show was reveling in the sexual torture of young women. It was like, worse...

Further to my previous post For gear, I'd give him a Dungeoneer's Pack, a rapier and breastplate. He figures a Dungeoneer's Pack contains everything an adventurer needs, the rapier is what he knows from his fencing lessons, and the breastplate is a fancy family heirloom. This outfit screams...

:.-(

I'd just just use the noble statblock, bumping up the hitdice if I thought he needed more. And then as the game progresses, when the players wind up teaching him something, I'd add that to his statblock ( and maybe adding more hit points, but probably not). For example: If the PC rogue is...

$13M

Who is Jib Zub? :heh:

Or. You mean your NPCs haven't been doing the monster in the trash compactor thing!?! :uhoh:

But then your players can just toss a fireball into a ventilation shaft and clean up on XP

Aye. Although I gotta say, it's not because of the "fake XP" phrase that I offered my advice. It was the "I'd have to be clever about it" line. I think you could wind up sabotaging your own goal by being too clever. You can't get your players to buy into milestone levelling if they don't know...

My table actually does DM Fiat Levelling - the DM tells us to level when he decides we do. If you're going to do it this way, my best advice is this: Don't lie to your players about it. We can see through lies. Please, don't trick your players. If you're gonna hand out XP, don't hand or fake...