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Hi folks. Yeah, I'm back. Nobody noticed I was gone, did they? (Sniff etc.) Anyway, an interesting dynamic has developed in my current campaign. The PCs are trying to restore the heir to the throne (that old chestnut). One PC, the ranger, is an elf who basically was hanging around the castle...

Cannon fodder.

Of course they are. They love themselves way too much, they'll shag anything, they dress like christmas trees and everybody hates them. Sounds French to me.

I was wondering about this last night. From Jackson's version of LOTR to the Order of the Stick and everything in between, Dwarves are Scottish. The stereotypical Dwarf speaks with a Glaswegian accent. He drinks, a lot, and headbutts people. Sometimes Dwarves are portrayed as sort of Nordic or...

I don't use the spell component rules anyway. They suck.

Crabalocka fishwife, pornographic priestess, boy you've been a naughty girl you let your knickers down...?

Too :) :) :) :) ing right!

What about telling someone to go :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) with a large :) :) :) :) ?

Sounds like fun. Count me in.

Players always hate that. They like to feel like they're smart and everyone else is dumb. It really annoys them when an NPC does something smart. They tend to feel the DM is picking on them...

That's just childish. And I want in. To whit: There was a young woman from Venus Who liked to :):) :):) :) :) on a :) :) :) :) :) But the :) :) :) :) was :) :) :) :) ed So she :) :) :) :) ed :) :) :) :) instead Which is an unusual genus...

LOL!

Hmmm...interesting. It censors 'arse-hole' but not 'arse' by itself. I wonder if it will censor the word :) :) :) :) ? What about :) :) :) :) -filled :) :) :) :) :) -:) :) :) :) ers? This is too much fun...

"Arse" is the only true way to say it. An "ass" is a donkey. My country has a long tradition of sitting on its arse, falling on its arse, giving people the arse, arsing around, making arses of ourselves, making fun of arseclowns, kicking people up the arse, wiping our arses, checking out...

So I was wrong. This is pleasing. Had I been right, I would have suddenly found an entire group of PCs with such an attack bonus. Also, I am shocked, shocked to discover my maths was wrong. I have never before made a mathematical error, as sure as 5x7=40.

My work here is done.

The times on the most recent posts are showing me 4AM. Where I am it is 2PM. I am curious as to where the server is located. As far as I can work out, the only places in the world where it is 4AM right now are on the axis between Iceland through Morocco to the Gulf of Guinea. Surely the ENWorld...

So let's say I have a 16th-level Fighter. This fighter is an elf, and she has through magic and experience got a Dex score of 24, which gives her a +7. We'll say she's using a +5 bow, and has Greater Weapon Specialisation. This makes her attack bonus +30/+25/+20/+15 with her bow. With me so far...

"See all those wires in there, Homer? That's why your robot never worked..." - Marge Simpson, Itchy and Scratchy Land

All I can say regarding the thread title is - 600 + viewings in less than 48 hours. You can't say it didn't get attention.:lol: