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For those interested in seeing cats perform criticals (and fatalities), see the Sluggy Freelance series "Kitten". These commoners don't stand a chance.

Navanna Vladaam peers at Folo with apparent interest. "A courtier in the Elven courts, even. I should have Teilbarith flogged for not giving me the full details. You could be a most useful servant indeed. I'm sure Pomia has work for your cousin as well." "Tell me, what brings you to Ptolus...

You enter the northwest door and follow the winding corridor. You pass three of the blurred crystal columns containing nightmarish shapes. Fifty feet down the hallway Bellus locates the trap. It's a mechanical, proximity-triggered spear trap that covers a 10-foot-square area. Two more...

Benjamin woke the other crew members up. He's the youngest of the sailors (unofficial "cabin boy"). Robers noticed that Tinker is missing. He's the dwarf who together with Tinker and Jella came to complain earlier on behalf of the crew.

The mind flayers are dead and the bodies are destroyed. Other than the newly lighted symbol in the main hall, all else is unchanged. Five doors remain. Choose one.

The guard leads Folo and Bono into the kitchen and introduces them to a older half-elf named Pomia. She appears to be the head of the servants. As the guard leaves, she instructs the two halflings, "This is were you will be working for the present. If you demonstrate some manners and skills...

Thought Taker retreats to his quarters. You return to deck. Someone appears to have woken up most of the crew. Lareth and Tiktitik are still asleep, and Theryndil is still unconscious. Hector approaches Delta Squad, "Is something amiss, sirs? Benjamin noticed you all getting up and going to...

Oraltor will start firing at the Ryn's target.

Unfortunately, none of the mind flayers has any gear, aside from Ellyn's clothes (non-magical). What would you like to do with the bodies? I believe only Zelestine was harmed by the psion-killer. She heals herself.

Bump. Don't forget to subscribe to the new thread, if necessary.

Thought Taker relaxes somewhat when he realizes that you did not leap to judge him. "By all means, speak with the corpse. I am sure it will admit the attack. I trust your judgement on dealing with the crew. We are so close to our goal. It would be a shame have things fall apart now."

Oraltor will go prone and continue firing, if possible. If not, he will continue to use trees for cover. He will begin lustily singing a Zabrakian drinking song, hoping to draw more enemy fire.

I second! The LOTR spoof was the first thread I thought of as well. The others I would nominate are Wulf's Collected Story Hour and Little Changes with Big Flavor.

I thought about celebrating 1000 posts when all I had was 900 or so. Somehow the numbers rolled over when I wasn't looking. So congrats die_kluge! It's great to be in such good company. I wonder if the distribution of posters on ENWorld is similar to the distribution of web hits mentioned by...

I finally ordered Volume 1 from Amazon. Anxiously awaiting the movie as well. I know they will be two very different experiences, but I have a feeling I will love them both. Hey Wulf, I noticed a thread where you asked about Banewarrens stuff a while back. Did you run parts or all of it?

Vladaam Estate

"There are a few halfling servants, but the lady has 'private' contact with others, if you know what I mean," the man whispers as Folo and Bono draw near the house. He leads you through wooden double doors into the grand entry hall. The elaborate, gothic room features elegant family portraits...

Zelestine remarks, "This thing impersonated a mage to send the Wilders after the other Chosen. Now most of the psion-haters are dead. I don't know whether to marvel at its bravado or stick my greatsword in it." "It is one of the Chosen. If it survives, it must be part of our consensus with...

When you reach the hold, you are shocked to discover the body of Tinker, one of the three who earlier brought you complaints about Thought Taker. The liquid syllables of mental "speech" form in your head. "He came to me last night," the illithid explains, "with this." He holds out to you a...