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How about just trying to accept that different people have different preferences instead of trying to cast it as some kind of power play?

Push all you want, it still just comes back to basic preferences of what people want out of the game. D&D is flexible enough to work with many different styles, but it is not a game designed from the ground up for collaborative world building.

As a person I can't influence the world outside of what I say and do. Since the PCs are engaging in a fictional world, the fiction of the world has to be determined somehow but a DM is not a player in the world, they are running the world.

I can see it now "This is a really, really bad choice to make but it will make a great story if I survive!"

Can we not relitigate 2014 background features yet again? Is that horse not dead enough? To me the rule (if taken to the extremes some people preferred) ran counter to the spirit of the rest of the game.

I never agreed with some of the more literal interpretations of the background rules. I have no problem with a PC's backstory having an impact, even a significant one. But no, you were never getting guaranteed success under all circumstances. I'm glad it's gone in the 2024 PHB.

About the closest D&D comes is inspiration. But even that just increases your odds of success. EDIT: ninja'd

Depends on the PC and if what they're wearing is outside the norm. So if they're dressed in rags, the best finery available, or running around in a loincloth like some fantasy barbarian romance book cover.

Yeah, this guy has a really weird buckle fetish. On the other hand ... we have had trends like this one

So .. the outfits were as colorful as the dyes available and what they could afford? In a world with the level of technology (or magi-tech) is as high as most D&D worlds, I would actually expect a lot of color and even more flamboyant outfits. For the wealthy? Permanent illusion cast into...

Did I say I liked every aspect of D&D? Because I don't remember saying that. EDIT: taking 10 isn't a thing anymore (AFAIK), I thought it referenced the rogue cheese which I dislike as a feature. But taking 10 was just a shortcut for taking your time to search or similar. Lucky? That's a...

Most movies and depictions of people in medieval or fantasy eras are quite drab and colorless. As far as we can tell though, that's not how people actually dressed though. Bright colors were the rule for most people. Outfits we would consider quite flamboyant today were quite common as a...

A die roll is a randomizer for when something might work. It's that moment when you just happen to think of the right thing to say or after a conversation you think "Dangit, I should have remembered to bring up [some fact or tidbit that would have swayed the conversation]". It reflects that...

You don't know how the story ends until someone dies. Doesn't mean you don't know the story up until that point.

For whatever reasons, with one of my players there's at least a half a minute of hemming and hawing before that happens. Every. Single. Time. For other players, if you have sneak attack damage or similar (flame tongue weapon for example), you have to roll that separately.

From wikipedia the definition of plot is "...the sequence of events in which each event affects the next one through the principle of cause-and-effect." So no, we don't have a preplanned plot but we certainly have a sequence of events, typically events based on cause-and-effect. I don't think...