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A decanter of endless water is definitely on the list of things to get. Combined with transmute rock to mud, there shouldn't be too many issues with soil. Casting Move Earth will help with shaping the land in preparation for a lake. If needed, I imagine you could get down to the bedrock with...

For first level here's a three feat combination that will give you that at first level. It's marginally cheesey, but not too overpowering. First, take magical training. It's a feat from "player's guide to faerun". It gives you the ability to cast three cantrips each day as either a wizard or...

So... Canada is evil? So is the United Kingdom? Constitutional monarchies can work.

Avoid casting spells that have gestures and incantations?

I think he'd win the grapple check. And the initiative check, for that matter. And I suspect he'd still be wearing his magic rings (one of which is probably the obligatory ring of freedom of movement) and amulet, as well as have a silent dimension door prepared (because no wizard in his right...

The situation analogous to ordering a pizza is going to Storm Raven's game and bringing your World of Darkness or GURPS or whatever and DMing yourself, ignoring him. Agreed. If you think there's a fundamental disconnect, you should take some time OOC and talk to the players about it. "We...

So... Stormraven... You're saying that when you have a group of five* people gathered to play a game, the goal is to only entertain one of them? Seems a little odd. So, to continue the party analogy, what kind of drinks do you buy? Five cases of your favorite kind, or a mixed batch...

Just chiming in to say that "for the players' enjoyment" should include the DM as a subset of players.

I'm guessing there's at least one side for each alignment.

The phylactery of a lich mage. Thing is, it's in the actual bag, not the extra dimensional space it connects to, so sort of opening it in an antimagic field they're just going to notice it's a little lumpy.

Or a roc with a sword stuck into it. It's just a baby, so the party could raise it as a trained animal (after removing the weapon, of course).

Put a glove on it if you really care.

Ring of prestidigitation, along with a hand of the mage. That's like, what? 2 k gp, tops? And they're somewhat useful when adventuring as well.

And women are a majority. So you're saying that Curves "[has] an unfortunate tendency to be fertile grounds for back-room deals that serve only to keep the majority" (Which in the example we're talking about is women) "in power." An interesting argument, to be sure.

Shamelessly stolen from ceratitis' sig.

You should definitely look into the Jhereg series by Steven Brust. He does a really good job of reinventing cliches. And the books are well-written.

Poisoning your party? Spike the punch. Oh, the other kind of party? Same deal.

Of course, better nutrition and understanding of poison have their effects too. For example, you consuming lead would give substantial penalties to int, but we don't do that anymore. The Romans did, and some historians believe that that was one of the major reasons for their downfall...

Hey now. A web enhancement gives the swashbuckler a very powerful ability. For blackmail :D http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/cwc/20070227x

He's just feeling better.