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I lurked here for a while and just glazed over arguments like this, but now that I joined I am starting to realize how the extremes have been pushed more and more extreme.

oh wow, I hope you never DM for someone really shy then. wait, so you don't have drawn out nights where everything is social interactions? You don't have to ever play court intrigue? I guess if you just skip 1/3 the game that makes sense.

yeah it is pretty bad, I didn't know at 8 how bad but now I do. I am really trying but some how it just doesn't even feel like D&D to me what you are explaining. I am starting to think we don't even all play the same game. See this is what I mean, I can see a discussion around "Is that...

never in the last few years that I have been playing have I heard a player say ANYTHING like that, and not even in a 'old story' from the others.

I am floored by this one. So a player that is more social and more able to talk at the table will always have the advantage over a shy player?

but WHY? that's the thing, if someone came to your table like me and used asking for skills, would that make the game less fun for you as a DM, or for other players at your table?

I had more then one teacher that if me or another student would say "I have a question to axe" or "Can I axe you a question" would make us restate it as "I have a question to ask" or "Can I ask you a question" before we could move forward. I also had way too many teachers that would say "aint...

as far as I know the example I gave from my friend was 2 men... but yeah, I have already experienced a bit of sexism in the hobby and more then a bit of elitism, I don't know why this should shock me but it did. I wonder how many people have been driven out of TTRPGs for this?

so you don't use the skill system at all? omg that is a long time. So, why did it start? how can people not agree? I don't understand any of this. this sounds a lot like kicking players out of play groups, and again that seems the opposite of the point of the games. I was taught this was first...

all/any as long as both the player and dm have a way to understand the goal and what the player thinks the character can do, that is enough

over the holiday I was talking to the guy who taught me D&D and he told me he actually had a DM that if you could explain the way lock picks worked you could auto succeed on the check, and if you told the DM you had no idea beyond what you saw on TV you could not even get the roll. The kicker...

See that is the thing, as long as both the DM and the player understand why should it matter what words they use? I thought the whole point of the game, and what I was taught day 1 was this was not supposed to be true unless there was no way to avoid it.

so you do understand that "Can I use insight to see if he is being sneaky?" is BOTH asking for a skill check AND helping the narrative AND playing the game?

I don't understand how after many post how you think "it really is that simple" applies. what is the diffrence between "I want to look more in-depth?" and "Can I make a perception check?" that comes off pretty insulting, as if people who name skills and ask for a roll aren't not sharing in the...

am I just not as used to this as you guys? I have what I call 'bad days' and when I am having one don't want to have to use the immersive words.

okay walk me through how this works... didn't this start when I asked "Hey what if I call for a skill check" and you said you didn't want the game interacted just as a mechanic, but now you are saying it can't be just a mechanic?!? so what is it when I call for an insight check?

I think I see why. okay, I am hoping you are overblowing this and no one is being kicked out of D&D for calling for skill checks? Maybe this is just one of those things that is more polarized on the internet then in real face to face world?

so if your player just wants to interact useing the mechanics then what?

I have gotten so used to hoping for 4d6 drop lowest and hoping its not 3d6 that it never even occurred to me to do that?

okay, I have played lots of TTRPG but 5e was my first D&D so what would you do when I ask can I use perception here? or if I asked "Oh can arcane skill help?" or "Can I use insight to see if they are hiding something?" all of those are things I have said in the last year.