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Emerald was having a bad-hair day. Her morning coffee hadn't arrived and she was always useless until she had her first cup of coffee. It was no good even starting on the minotaur she was adding to her rock carving depicting The Myths of the Middle Minoan III Period and as for working on the red...

Tippy examined Albert. He was bad, and not in a good way. "It will need a Lesser Restoration to fix your eye," said Tippy. "I can't do it right now, but I can prepare the spell in the morning. You'll be fine. Get some rest. I'll ask Tasha to double-shift and cover your watch. Then I'm going...

Believing they were alone in the Keep, the party made themselves comfortable in a side room near the great hall, that they guessed must have been an office used by the hobgoblin chief. A fire burned in the grate of a massive stone fireplace and the flickering flames gave off a comforting warmth...

You can ask them to roll a d20 without telling them what it's for, then ask to look at their character sheets and do the adjustments yourself, decide the result and still not tell them what's going on. They will know that something scary is happening and worry about what it is.

An evil NPC tax collector called Char-Ging appears in various narrative threads. When last heard of, she was transformed into a goat and stranded on the Isle of Luin waiting to be rescued by a bar of soap...

Dutifully obeying orders, the dozen or so hobgoblin under-officers followed their captain into the mess hall. At the far end, a large map had been set up on an easel and they all gathered around to study it. None of them looked up at the rafters. Why would they? Because Inannyunot had flown up...

Sounds like Indiana Jones. But he doesn't wear plate armour. Not very often, anyway. Does he?

Tippy, Tasha, ClaW and Jones wended their way together around seemingly-deserted battlements until they found themselves on a platform overlooking the parade ground where the orcs were mustering ready for duty as dusk fell. There were hundreds of them, all milling about, resentfully being pushed...

Whereas the Bard would sing it and it would sound like something from an Elgar oratorio. Or possibly Benjamin Britten. But not Wagner. Definitely not Wagner.

The thing about the bard is, he is the one who tells the tale of your adventure in the taverns afterwards and if you aren't nice to him your heroic deeds may not even get a mention. ♫ The Bard, he sav'd the party's hide, ♫ With song and rhyme the monsters died. ♫ Oh praise the Bard! they all...

Snagtooth was on watch in BloodFort Keep. He liked being on watch over the big gate because it was an easy watch. All he had to do, was to make sure no-one stole the big gate. No-one had ever stolen the big gate for the hundreds of years it had been there, and no-one would as long as he was on...

It's because pencils are make of wood and paper is made of wood and cutting down trees to make pencils and paper destroys the rainforest and causes global warming, so it's not politically correct to play pencil-and-paper any more and you have to use your phone instead. Also, books.

The baby spectator floated unsteadily over to Ha!, crooned "mamma, mamma" and vomited over her smock in an endearing way. The others looked at her hopefully. Maybe it would become her problem? Ha! held out her stones. "Guard," she said, "Guard stones." "Croon. Stones. Baby guard stones for...

You can't do that! We haven't rolled initiative yet! Saving throws! We get saving throws every turn! There aren't any turns! That's the point! We haven't rolled initiative yet! I can still use class features, can't I? Not if you can't take actions! So what are we - petrified? No, we're still...

After hours of toil, taking turns to dig, they felt they were near to reaching their goal. Tasha was using her halberd to reach right into the end of their tunnel, when it dislodged the last boulder and suddenly she saw daylight. "We're through!" she called, "About time, too!" ClaW scuttled up...

Climbing a rocky trail up towards the nearest peak, they reached a place where a sheer cliff overhung the trail rather ominously. Carved into the rock was an inscription that said ATTAN'S PEAK ↑ TWO MILES STRAIGHT UP You have reached a milestone. You may take a short rest and level up here...

You make a Fighter. You sit down at the table with a few other players They make PCs who are definitely not fighters because they think fighters are boring You make up improbable reasons why all your PCs have met up in a tavern Your DM makes up improbable reasons why you will all go adventuring...

All the fighter needs is friends.

Tippy did the calculations and surmised that they were heading straight for.................. ... a patch of snow drifts on the north bank of a river, at a place where the river made a wide sweep through snow-covered countryside. Just at the bend, clustered around a ford, there was a small town...

Archie was flying Tippy and Inannyunot back to Southborough Castle. It was cold, up in the stratosphere, but Inannyunot had cast Leomund's Tiny Relativistic Hut using Archie's back as an inertial frame of reference, so the two of them were quite comfortable inside as long as Archie flew along...