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... all except Sister Jericho who was still wearing her Ring of Invincibilty. She equipped Rebound. Then, ignoring the pikes and swords she walked calmly up to Char-Ging and punched her on the nose. It was a good punch, not at all lady-like, and not at all the kind of move you would have...

The carp arks bobbed to the shore, grew legs and crawled away towards Seat'tle like so many giant lizards. Part way there, they evolved wings and flew onwards, breathing out cones of flame like dragons. But as they swooped over the city, they popped out of existence because the citizens of...

"Welcome home, gentlemen. We have splashdown," announced the Archmage. "Er ... where?" asked Moore The Lesser. "What?" "According to my calculations, we are thousands of miles too far west in an undiscovered continent beyond Greenland. Did anyone allow for the earth's rotation while we were...

One of the space shuttles was called Atlantis but nothing memorable ever went wrong with it so I borrowed the line from somewhere else. Can't think where ... :D

Thor quickly slipped on a set of blue overalls, slung his #1 Universal Repair Kit over his shoulder and reported to Who's Done. "Maintenance," he grunted authentically. "We have a total system malfeasance," declared the Archmage. "It's urgent. Fix it." "Have you tried hitting it with a...

On the western coast of Atlantis lay the City of the Sea Turtle, so named because sea turtles from all over the ocean passed by there, on the long journey back to their hatching grounds in Africa. In the local dialect, the name was pronouned Seaxtxxtle. A few miles from the city, on a promontory...

Monsters that arrive on their turn will solve some of the problems. Place a large group of weak monsters to trigger combat. The party starts mopping them up. Low down in the initiative order, the heavies arrive. They get to attack immediately because it's their turn right now. Effectively, the...

Penelope set to work, re-arranging the hexagonal tiles on the battlemap and replacing Atlantis with sea. This meant that she had a lot of coastal and rocky tiles spare, so instead of putting them back into the box she made a pretty shape with them further to the west and called it North America...

Rule Zero: all spellcasters have three hands.

"Gods? I'm not sure," thought Penelope, "aren't they a kind of herring?" "That's quite not what I meant," replied Pur-Ging diplomatically, and he projected a though-image of Poseidon looking important. "Oh, him. I created him to frighten the fishes. Well, I was bored. He hasn't been worrying...

The Kraken kept very quiet and still, so as not to frighten the boat. It had often tried to tame a boat for a pet but boats were easily frightened and it had never really succeeded. You have to let the boat come to you, and very slowly gain its confidence and then perhaps it will follow you and...

Sorry about the cross-posting. As I read it, she had half an hour to get back to town after leaving the battlefield, so she could be shopping while Foghorn was still chopping. Half an hour is plenty, if the battle was nearby. Like, in the local sports stadium. Archaeologists haven't discovered...

In the battles of ancient Greece, the more naked you were and the bigger your big round bronze shield was and the more spears you carried, the more senior you were. So the sight of Foghorn in full armour with no shield and not carrying any spears at all was a bit laughable. What was this idiot...

"How many of us are there?" asked Foghorn, who wasn't very good at counting past three. "Nine," replied Pur-Ging. "How does 'Nine Against Sparta' sound?" "Risky." "How risky, exactly?" "One a scale of Heroic to Crazy? It's round about Stoopid." "We could change the course of history?" "We...

I did some short backstories for some 5e pregens back on the old WotC forums. They were copied across to here in the Emergency Lifeboat but that seems to have sunk and they are no longer accessible. Shautha Narg - Female Half-Orc Paladin - Urchin background Shautha was a PO - a Professional...

At the temple, Sbk showed them round the pools where the sacred crocodiles were kept, and invited them to watch as his high priests conducted feeding ceremonies. The druids were careful not to be taken for crocodiles themselves, for fear that they would be force-fed meat, so they shape-shifted...

I can get you a Scarab of Protection from History if it helps? One careful owner, choice of colours, comes with full instructions in Hieroglyphics, Hieratic and Demotic? A snip at only 99gp and a goat! Order yours now!

Only if you are making a PC, or a PC-like NPC, and they are exceptional. Grunt Commoners (as per MM) have an Int of 10 (+0), as do Acolytes, Bandits, Cultists, Cult Fanatics, Gladiators, Guards, Thugs and Veterans.

Little did the druids know, and even littler did the party know, that one of the crocodilians was none other than Sbk, the crocodile-headed god of ancient Egypt. He was tagging along to see how things went, before deciding which edition to play. Also, several of the lady druids didn't know it...

"Are you sure you want to do that?" asked Zeus, "Cholmondeley would have known that Shouting Very Loudly In A Dungeon is bad luck." "It's what my character would do," said Aphrodite defensively. Zeus sighed and reached for Wandering Monsters Table IV. The assembled company were not in the...