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  1. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Her first decree would be......... to declare gold anathema. "Gold is unholy and ye must free thineselves of its baleful doom," announced Penelope, who was quite enjoying the situation and lapsing into archaisms she hadn't used for thousands of years. "Scour the Land of Nod for gold," she...
  2. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    It was about this time that the Land of Nod initiated its second line of defence: The Perimeter of......... Halibut. The devilishly-cunning minds of the Mages of Nod had devised a cunning defence against creatures who passed though the outer defences still awake. It was a huge Zone of Polymorph...
  3. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    and began to slowly sink...... The gnomes gnew what to gdo and they all bustled onto their own boat, which if you recall was lodged forrard of the mizzen mast. "Status, mister mate!" cried Skipper. "Sep minus 20 seconds and holding. All systems nominal," came the anachronistic reply. The mate...
  4. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    ".........................waterslide?" "Don't be silly." "You could be a quest-giver? Mortals love being given quests to do. It makes them feel useful." "How does that work?" "You find a bunch of adventurers with no money, and you tell them 'Fetch me the biggest diamond in the world' and...
  5. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Snappy, for it was indeed he, was balancing a conch shell on his nose as he said this. Also, you might not be at all surprised to hear that he was accompanied by a team of mermaids riding pink narwhals. "Coo-ee," called Xena. "When I said marines," groaned Herewulf, "I didn't mean ..." "Well...
  6. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    It was........ quite unusual for a boat of that era, for it had no mast, no sails, no oars and no other visible means of propulsion. "Looks wrong to me," was Nord's professional opinion. "The freeboard is too short and she'll take on water in a heavy swell. And the fo'csle is too pointy. And...
  7. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    The Ship......... "Nord," mused Jeli, "What would you say is the best fighting ship in the known world? Or any world, really? The one that all pirates fear to be pursued by?" Nord though for a moment. "The Phase Rider. Legend has it, that it can pop up anywhere, seize your ship and disappear...
  8. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    and found themselves in ... a quandary. I don't know about you, said Od to himself, but I get the feeling that this adventure is a bit ... disorganised. It's as if someone is just making stuff up and then someone else is making up more stuff and we end up lurching about going nowhere in...
  9. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    When they trotted through......... they were greeted with such a weird sight that it boggled their minds and they all had to make DC24 Wisdom saves or suffer the Bewildered condition, which is very. very bad; much worse than Stunned or Incapacitated. The mortal brain simply couldn't comprehend...
  10. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    a plan slowly formulated in her mind..... Now she was 18, she could do anything. She would hire assassins to eliminate the daughter of someone rich and powerful so that she could dress up as her and take her place. Of course, it needed to be someone rich and powerful and too busy or too stupid...
  11. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Ah," said Herewulf, "We got it wrong, then." "Famous last words." "Lucky we found the book, otherwise we wouldn't have known." "So what now? Can we find another portal, or are we stuck here in the afterlife unable to get back to the beforelife?" "I must say, I'm a trifle disappointed in you...
  12. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Well, Jeli is............... a Gestalt. As an action, she can switch to any other class at the same level but she doesn't gain the benefits of any particular archetype in the target class and she must finish a long rest before she can switch again. Right now, she is a Cleric-2 but of no...
  13. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Bigby got in the sand and.......... the others heaved the stone lid over the sarcophagus, muffling her protests. There was a sort of gritty swooshthudbump sound and Bigby's protests became somewhat louder. Od looked at Nord, Nord looked at Jeli and Jeli looked at Herewulf. Then they heaved the...
  14. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Come out, come out, wherever you are........ " The force of Bigby's exorcism (for such it was) was so great that not only was the ghost of Sir Noxious expelled from Jeli, but the thing that had been possessing him and had caused him to go astray in his lifetime, was forced out in its turn...
  15. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Something I've always wondered about ghosts," wondered Herewulf wonderingly, "Can ghosts see ghosts?" "Why not?" replied Od. "Well, some people can see ghosts and some ghosts can see people but how do we know if ghosts we can't see can see other ghosts we can't see, if we can't see them...
  16. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    10 crimson............... geese? "Well, actually, we do. We were wondering what to do with them. They make rather unreliable alarm clocks." "If we harness them together and get them to fly," explained Jeli, "they might lift us one by one out of this swamp." "Novel. Worth a try." They started...
  17. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    The three heroes took a short rest and looked over the loot. Herewulf looked closely at the shield, and discovered that underneath a thick layer of black soot over its front surface there was a symbol of Eldath, the very goddess whom he himself worshipped. "This can't be coincidence," he said...
  18. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    the goat Tangzor slowly lowered his head to begin a charge when…………………….. Nord drew himself up to his full height, raised his hands dramatically and threw a handful of rose petals in the air. "Sweet Dreams," he murmured, then added "Urawoah!". Now, as anyone knows who makes his...
  19. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Uhm........ ", began Od, "have you by any chance got the locale on your till set to European? With a comma for the decimal point? Can you give change for 11GP ?" Char-Ging (for it was, indeed, she, doomed to reside in hell for all eternity because she wasn't a very nice person) looked...
  20. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    ... and snapped what he though was a Styx, ready to throw it back playfully. But it tasted funny and it crunched in a way that Styx don't crunch and a crunchy bit got stuck between his teeth, which is always annoying and there's never an Egyptian Plover around when you want one. He thrashed his...
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