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  1. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Meanwhile ... Od, Nord and Herewulf were making their way back towards the wooden castle when they came across a dungeon in a hollow in the ground. This dungeon was a little unusual in that it had no roof and you could look down and see all the passages and rooms, like looking at a 3D map...
  2. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Meanwhile ... Xena the Wolf Rider (age 8¼) had rejoined Jeli and the other girls and they had found a strange thing. There was a hill, the sort of hill that you paint green keeping inside the lines, and there were lots of people pushing boulders up the hill and letting them roll down again...
  3. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Good morning, gentlemen," said the pit fiend. Herewulf quickly pulled himself together (it didn't take long - he wasn't very far apart) and dissembled mightily, convincing himself that, just because he was technically a paladin, it didn't mean he had to be particularly good at this particular...
  4. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    'Required Reading', definitely. :D Roll 1d6 to decide, then ignore the roll and go with your instincts :)
  5. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "How many XP do we get?" asked Od quickly. Fifty "Each wolf?" No, you only persuaded one of them. But I'll round up and give you twenty each. "What should we do with the little girl?" wondered Herewulf. "We could tie her up and sell her at the slave market," suggested Nord. "I don't think...
  6. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Our three friends set out along the only road available, with no clear idea of where they were going or why. After a while they came to a stone pillar, on which was engraved the single word "EXPLORATION". They took this as a hopeful sign. Further down the road, they passed under a great stone...
  7. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Herewulf's rapier was at the druid's throat. "I would not harm thee for the world," quoth the paladin fluently, "but thy neck is where my blade is about to be." Oakleaf gibbered, knowing that he was powerless for he was but a 4th level druid (MM 346) and all his spells and cantrips had a V...
  8. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    The secret door suddenly sprang open, knocking Herewulf gloopily out of the way. Jeli sprang up in alarm, wondering "Why did I even bother trying to open it? Stupid door!" A posse of be-ribboned little girls with ridiculously big eyes cantered in on purple and pink My Little Unicorns. They...
  9. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Let's zee what'z inzide the metar waldrobe," suggested the gelatinous paladin. He flooped over, inserted a pseudopod through a small gap at the bottom of the doors and grew an eye on the tip of the pseudopod. "Big coppel lodz wlapped in croth with rittle rightning flazhez," he reported. Od...
  10. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Well, we have to ... we have to ... you have to ... *sob* ... we just have to ...." "You haven't got a plan, have you?" "No! Yes! No! They said I had to Gather A Party Before Venturing Forth and then I would get levels and be just like my brothers and it's so difficult and it's all gone wrong...
  11. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    After Nord, who had been following immediately behind, pulled Herewulf free and lost his own gauntlets in the process, the paladin used his lay-on-hands-hands to get the goo out of his mouth. "My shield! My Holy Shield" he cried for said shield could be seen fast dissolving deep inside the cube...
  12. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) You find a magical _____, it does _____

    Te absolvo. Next Item: a deck of cards with the sixes and eights missing
  13. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) You find a magical _____, it does _____

    The Fail Flail can be used to attack as a normal flail but it breaks on a miss and the head flies off leaving the wielder holding the handle, which counts as an improvised weapon. It is not really supposed to be used at all, it being part of the ceremonial regalia of the Grandmaster of The Noble...
  14. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    ... and…… stared at Nord with narrowed eyes. "I notice you have 47.3 feet of rope and two grappling hooks in your pack, which was made by Bleggins and Sons, Leatherworkers of Meat Street, according to the label inside. Call me Observant, but I'd say that one of the hooks is going rusty and won't...
  15. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) You find a magical _____, it does _____

    The shoes of Espadril enable the wearer to walk underwater and speak aquan. If only one is worn, it only enables hopping underwater. Next Item: a sack of magic potatoes
  16. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    "Tell me, what do dwarves really like doing, when they aren't digging up gold and singing the Hi Ho song?" "Drinking ale?" "Right, so we invite him back to the tavern and take turns to drink him under the table." "Until he fails a CON save?" "That's it. This DM is an ex-4e type. He can run...
  17. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    There was only one way it could end. The valiant four ran away, hotly pursued by two boulders that came to rest in a convenient gully. Jeli used some words of common that made even Nord blush. He produced a handkerchief and blew his nose loudly to cover his embarassment. "We need to tack upwind...
  18. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Suddenly................. A parchment map appeared on the table. It hadn't been there a moment ago, but now it was there. "Oh look, a map!" remarked Od perceptively. Fortunately, Jelenneth had taken Read Maps. She explained it to the others, despite that fact that anyone can read a map and...
  19. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) You find a magical _____, it does _____

    Adding fish, vegetables and water to this cauldron and lighting a fire under it will create an aroma that will attract 1d4 brown bears per hour. If frogs and newts are substituted for the fish it will attract aged crones instead, who will recite the opening scene of Macbeth. Next Item: a...
  20. BoldItalic

    The never ending story of ...

    Nord poured on the pressure. "You need large quantities of cloth and mesh. And I'm not talking lace handkerchiefs. You got any decent ships in your neck of the woods? Sails? Rigging? Cargo nets? Don't tell me you don't even have ships." "We are Elves of the High Forest. We have no need of...
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