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The mirror shimmered and became a portal; a mousehole in the space-time continuum. The Two and 4T went through cautiously side by side, following the scent of a cheesy joke. They escaped by a whisker as the conjunctions disjuncted and the mousehole closed suddenly behind them. They found...

You can do this to find out the Paladin's alignment: LG: Takes over six of your items and generously pays for them himself, to make it okay. LN: Calls the supermarket manager and gets the sign changed to "12 items or fewer". LE: Steals six of the items from your trolley after you have finished...

BoldItalic sighed. Oh, the folly of youth! If I am as old now as the sum of your ages is going to have been when you are twice as old as each other, and there were two white mice three hours ago left to their own devices, how many white mice are there now? Sir! Sir! I know the answer Sir...

Hmm. Rodents. Remember the old schoolboy joke ? Caesar adsum jam 4T Brutus aderat I said don't overdo it, Trainger. Sorry, Sir.

"I don't understand. What is the meaning of this?" A mirror appeared, hanging in the air. "Look deeply into the glass. What do you see?" "I appear to be a white mouse, with the number 2 on my nose." "And your friend?" "Also a white mouse, quite an attractive lady mouse, with 4T on her rather...

Do you mind? I spend hours in front of the mirror getting that exint right. The ceptain of the fist tim was Daffers Prendergast, who went on to take triple gold in the Elympic Octathlain. What is so ixtrord'nry about that? I fail to see the duke. :D

Trainger! In all my years of teaching creative writing to the upper fifth, I have never seen such unmitigated drivel. Yes, Sir, sorry, Sir. What have you to say for yourself, boy? I don't know, Sir. What have I told you about the thirty-eight plots? There are thrirty-eight plots, Sir. And...

Terri rose to the occasion. She had been to a gals' boarding school, after all, and that instilled a certain steely resolution with echoes of the mem sahib of the Raj, not to mention an accent that could freeze a peasant at thirty paces. She hadn't been Ceptain of the Second Lacrosse Tim for...

Oh, but it does :D Did you miss where the So Long actually turned up in the thread as a fish? Post #382. You can't get much more relevant than that. And as for the disagreements, well, this entire thread has been one long crazy but ineffably polite disagreement on so many levels, not least...

"Hold on," said Ballnard, "Hermione, can you still do weddings? You still have your credentials and whatnot?" "Well, yes, theoretically, but ..." "Terri," declared Ballnard, going down on one knee, "Will you marry me?" There was an embarrassed shuffling of feet, an impatient rattling of...

“Well…….We've stockpiled hundreds of barrels of ale, we have all the snacks to last for a millenia. What now?....……..... "We could start our own tavern. Call it the Keg and ... Keg?" "I don't think that would be legal. It's not strictly our beer. We're just ... guarding it." "Guarding it from...

To save you looking them up in Burke's, Hortense is the unmarried eldest daughter of the late Marmaduke House, IXth Duke of Strathbogle; her younger sister Florence married a baronet, the Hon Mutch Trainger, and Terri is their daughter. Her surname is hyphenated because technically her mother...

Hire an entire college of gnomes to build you a quantum warp drive and jump to a parallel universe where the world isn't coming to an end.

Ballnard gazed into the eyes of the masked lady with whom he had so suddenly committed propinquity and they both blushed as wild magic crackled between them. "Hi," he said, with devastating originality, "What do they call you?" This being the 18th century and she being a well-brought up...

Phinsk, who if you recall was a Halfling Warlock, quietly rolled for Stealth using some special muffled dice he prestidigitated into existence and got Lucky; his suspicions aroused, he slipped unnoticed into the shadowy back alley behind the fleeing barman. The moon illuminated the scene just...

In the later parts of the "So long and thanks for all the fish" thread, which transmogrified after you last posted in it, robus, there are now lots of examples of narrative combat with no dice-rolling at all and initiative is, well, not taken seriously, to say the least. But they definitely...

"Us"

Actually, it's grammar, not grammer.

"What do you reckon," she asked Sashi, "Beauty is mightier than the sword"? "Could be, agreed her player, "It's a bit obvious, though, isn't it?" "Just a minute, dear, I'll level you up and spend your ASI on +2 Charisma. There. Now you look stunning." "So, if I walk up to a swordsman and just...

An axe flew through the air, in the best tradition of tavern brawls. It struck the notice and partly rent it asunder so that it now read WAN - TROLLS! "I knew it! Aaar!" shouted Ted with sudden Insight and a pirate voice. While everyone was busy with the next round of combat, he tore the...