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"Doubled down?"

You did not tell the truth.

Fair.

I would have loved if the incapactiation trait in PF2E only worked until the target was bloodied.

In PF2E, you can do the first 3 steps. If you're a class that uses a shield, you probably get a free reaction to raise shield at some point, but yeah, ok, this is a scenario where 5e is more flexible. It's not prescriptive for the rest of the game, I'd think, but point to you.

How? In 5e, you get 3 actions, but they are slotted (Standard, and Bonus, if you have one), and you also get to move your speed. In 4e, you get 3 actions, and they are also slotted (Standard, Move, Quick), and you can trade down. 13thAge is similar to 4e. PF2E you also get 3 actions, but they...

You typically play games with no restrictions on actions? Interesting.

I can see combat demanding a certain amount of mental focus, for sure. But PF2E also has Exploration and Downtime modes of play...between the 3, there's plenty of roleplay. Not Shakespeare-on-a-stage levels, but "playing one's character in the world"? Sure.

To be fair, we play on Foundry, which is leagues ahead of any other VTT I have tried (Maptool, Roll20).

A lot of the ones you mention will receive updates in PC2. "Stink" is not a word I'd use to describe them, however...not after seeing our barbarian in the Frozen Flame AP. In the Blood Lords game I'm playing in, I am playing an Investigator, popularly seen as the weakest class by a fair...

People don't roleplay during combat?

No disagreeing about that here. I don't see how that gets in the way of roleplaying. At all. It's a matter of taste, but I found combat in 5e way more tedious...always felt like there's more at stake in PF2E.

You are definitely not "running it wrong." Our group played AV and had great roleplaying as well, especially when one considers downtime activities. I don't know what "you need to follow a strict rhythm of crescendo and climax (combat-wise) that can and will get in the way of role-playing." is...

I was in a PF2E group where everyone knew their character and it managed to hit all 4; not 100% of the time, but close enough.

He's 12.

I would say the bolded part is true. Many think this is a boon, not a bane. I happen to agree with you, but tastes vary. If I was running a game for my nephew, I wouldn't think the mechanic is borked.

13th Age might be worth the work, then.

Great approach. I am in 2 different PF2E games and we play on Foundry on both and...wow. PF2E runs really smoothly on Foundry. E.g. I am running an Investigator in the Blood Lords AP. I have Undead Slayer as a feat. Foundry always remembers to add the damage from the feat, but additionally...

Maybe? It didn't seem like that much work to my group after we tired of 5e. It's -definitely- looser in play and narrative.

Forgive me if this has already been asked, but would 13th Age split the difference? (PF2E and 13th Age are my two F20 games now, so they're the ones I can feel confident recommending).