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I believe the phrase you're looking for is "screaming like a bloody cockatoo with its arse on fire". Remember, that's "arse" with a long "a".

Crikey! I'd always thought the catoblepas was a good bunyip analog, but this is bonza, mate. At-will frightening as a bonus action, against all targets of the creature's choice within a 120-foot-radius, and a DC 17 Wisdom save, is pretty savage for a CR 8 creature. Acknowledging that once a...

With aberrations, "disgusting" is a relative term. Consider how illithids and slaadi (are said to) reproduce... Cheers, Al'Kelhar

Re Defense. A monk's defensive capability is directly linked to their mobility. A monk should rarely be in a position where it can be attacked in melee; if the BBEG melee brute is able to hit you, particularly with multiple attacks, either on your turn or its own, frankly, you're doing monking...

Just two "crunchy" things I'd like to see supported in the 5E design space. These are likely to have significant impacts across a number of subsystems. First, the big one: make Str as mechanically valuable as Dex, and Int as mechanically valuable as Wis and Cha. Second, go back to the...

Fire giants. Trouble is you then get into the whole "there's a hole in my bucket" rigmarole.

Body is looted and then burned. Usually after dismembering. If nuking from orbit is possible, do that. You don't want that thing coming back...

Ring mail. It's still heavy armour, but much, much cheaper.

What classes suck? Double maths on a Friday afternoon. First class Monday morning. That class where you once ate glue and then blew it out your nose, and that boy/girl you like saw it. Oh, wait, that's not what we're talking about?

Statistically, yes. OK, and yet, here we are, with you stating that what you really want to talk about is stuff that will make monks better. Hmm, methinks he doth protest too much. Understand that I have no particular horse in this race, and your passive-aggressive statements are sadly...

There are, unfortunately, quite a lot of odd "gaps" in the DMG magic item tables. A magic item that improves "natural attacks", as they were called in 3E, is but one. Other obvious examples are the missing items that grant a 19 ability score in Dexterity (Gloves of Dexterity), Wisdom (Periapt...

Because that's simply another way of saying "my [pet class/ character build / angsty uber concept that's only mine and is really kewl] needs more official support from WotC". And, @Mistwell, you're far too sensible and mature to throw that kinda thing out there. Cheers, Al'Kelhar

Y Yeah, but I bet his Dex is 20. Damn munchkin powergamer...

No. Exhibit A: Chuck Norris. Exhibit B: John Maclean.

"10' pole?" "Check!" "50' hemp rope?" "Check!" "Hooded lantern, flasks of oil, and some more flasks of oil? "Check! "Friggin' great big wooden doorstop? "Ch.. wait, what?"

See, you've just failed the first test, right there. That's a denial that's easily checked with a Zone of Truth. The right response is: "As you would appreciated in these circumstances, I can neither confirm nor deny that I am now, or have ever been, a member of the Zhentarim Faction".

Sure, depends on the situation and all that. But maybe you play set-piece battle that allow spellcasters like clerics to blow all their high level slots on Cure Wounds, cause they've got the slots to splurge. But I'm not seeing much difference between a PC on 5hp from a 1st level Healing Word...

In the absence of dedication by one character to being a healbot, damage in combat will always exceed healing in combat. The purpose of 1st level healing spells is to bring an unconscious ally back into the fight. Whether that ally has 1d4 + spell modifier hit points or 1d8 + spell modifier...

And if anyone has ever had the misfortune of drinking American coffee, you'll understand exactly how much spite that is... Cheers, Al'Kelhar

Animated Armor 24 Bronze Scout 14 Cadaver Collector 17 + 1 = 18 Flesh Golem 24 Flying Sword 25 Helmed Horror 24 Homunculus 16 Iron Cobra 8 Iron Golem 25 Marut 22 Pentadrone 8 - 2 = 6 Retriever 21 Rug of Smothering 16 Scarecrow 16 Shield Guardian 23 Steel Predator 25 Stone Cursed 8 Stone Defender...