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Interesting, thanks.

I cut the background down alot, and added my two others for this race. Three sample ghodon adventurers are provided below. Gringarúk Shouts at the Sky is a disgraced paladin of Khall, the Storm Bringer. Banished from the mog-bashai tribe, Gringarúk seeks to redeem himself for failing to warn...

Hey, thanks for the feedback everyone, great tips! These are the three sample adventurers (heavily distilled) that I have now. Gringarúk Shouts at the Sky is a disgraced paladin of Khall, the Storm Bringer. Banished from the mog-bashai tribe, Gringarúk seeks to redeem himself for failing to...

Okay :) No worries, I think you gave great advice either way. I have a habit of "telling, not showing" in my writing when I should be "showing, not telling." It's something I really need to work on.

Thanks for the feedback. Nice character background, by the way. I'm leaning towards distilled versions for this one. I might expand on the races and provide more detailed information on major NPCs though.

I'll admit, it would be nice to use the term Feywild (really cool, evocative name) in my own supplements. I have a new race in my upcoming book that is tied to the land of the fae, but I've decided to just say "realm of the fey" and leave it at that. If people wish to infer that as being the...

Hey thanks man, I appreciate it. Now, back to revisions..

Hey, thanks a ton for your feedback. I still have a lot to learn about writing, and when people such as yourself come in and give tips, it always helps. Thanks again!

I'm writing three sample Ghodon (a new race) adventurers for an upcoming book. The problem is, I'm getting long-winded. I'm not finished writing the first one yet, and I'm wondering if I should just give the cliff's notes of character backgrounds instead of a really long version. So, my...

How much fluff is too much? Here's a sample Ghodon (new race in Scarrport) adventurer I'm writing up. The problem is, I'm getting long-winded. I'm not finished writing him yet, and I'm wondering if I should just give the cliff's notes of this character background or not. So, my question to...

Thanks for the feedback.

I've noticed the feywild mentioned in some 3rd party gsl supplements. Is this allowed? Or are people in breach of WOTC's IP?

Ahh! Thanks, Scott, for clearing this up for me.

It's also something I've been noticing in 3pp supplements; graphic design/layouts that are strikingly similar to the 4e books. On one hand, I think the layouts are interesting and it's theoretically good for business to put out a product that has a similar feel to the core rules. But on the...

Good Points. Thanks for the insights.

I could be wrong (probably am, which is why I'm going to talk to my lawyer), but it seems to me that even selling the power card DESIGN is a violation of their trade dress, especially if they (WOTC) start selling them. I mean, you can't do that with Magic: The Gathering cards.

Hmm, I wonder if this might affect publishers who produce books with power cards based on new content. One would think it's OK to do so, but if WOTC determines it's an infringement on their design... hmmm. Maybe I should rethink publishing power cards with my first 4e supplement. Time to...

Yeah High Crit is in the player's guide.

Isn't Brutal in Martial Power? If so, I can't use that Damage code. Nothing from Martial Power is covered in the new system reference document.

Good ideas. Thanks for the feedback!