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Yeah, it's probably fair to say having the core two or three people I mentioned as requisite all in the one city on a long term basis would count as the part where I got lucky.

I agree we have different experiences. And my group must owe itself, to some degree, to the whims of fate and some lucky breaks. But I've also worked to make it happen. We recruit the right people, bringing in new blood as we find people who seem to be a good fit. Sometimes, it's not for them...

The way I'm been doing it has been working fine for 40-odd years, so I'm confident the things that need saying are said and anything things left unsaid doesn't need saying. Yes, absolutely. I think there is some nuance you've missed then. Sometimes a decision needs to be made, and the GM is...

My players know me, generally. They know that our group, in general, involves taking the mickey out of each other as necessary and not taking silly things too seriously. They're not shy about speaking up, and have learned I am OK with feedack. Or, they are shy, but they've seen others speak up...

I've stated on more than one occasion that I fully expect my players to speak up if they feel a ruling I've made is unreasonable. Part of the reason the game works and there is trust is explicitly because they know they can do this.

My initial instinct was to disagree with you here. But when I tried to explain why, it started sounding to me like I actually agree. Which leads me to feel you can call these things the same or call them different, and it's really just a matter of where you choose to draw a line.

I don't feel it's fortune (at least, not in the main). I carefully cultivate my friends and people don't join our group unless they are vetted by an existing member. I don't recall any real issues when we were in our early teens either. Looking back as objectively as I can, I think it's fair to...

I agree they're not the exact same thing, but have never had either be a problem. I'm baffled that so many people have experienced issues with either, yet continue to game. I wouldn't, because if my games were like that, the hobby just wouldn't hold much appeal for me. I've seen people talk...

This kind of thing is part of the reason why I don't find any appeal at all in the idea of playing RPGs with strangers. That's not intended as a judgement on anyone who does game with lots of different people and I understand that, for some people, meeting lots of different people is actually...

I agree players can forget a lot of information. Speaking for myself as a GM, I don't believe I generally forget this, and I'll check with a player and remind them of things if they're making decisions that appear to overlook things their chactet should recall. Similarly, if the players are...

Trust isn't unlimited. It's just that in 40 odd years of gaming, my personal experience is that trust does not get abused or used up over elf games. I've never had to work hard to establish trust in my groups, it exists naturally. If there were people who couldn't be trusted or made ongoing...

I haven't tried to make this anything. I've told you how I and my group operates. Something about the way I've done that does not sit well with you, but I'm not really sure why. You seem to be asking me for tips on dealing with limited or broken trust, but I have no answers for you. As I have...

I don't play in that zone and thus I don't do anything in "that limbo" because I'm not there. I don't experience trust issues in my group. I don't worry that my players might be losing trust in me. In the hypothetical instance I did feel that way, I would probably say something like, "Hey...

If someone in my group did something "concerning" I would talk it out with them. I am absolutely certain I would quite easily come to a mutually satisfactory accommodation with any member of my RPG group over any concerning thing that might occur in a session. Worst case, we might have an...

Submission to what? A fun game? I have no choice but to submit to my friends and risk that they are using their visits to my house to plot arson, or move across the country in the night to be safe from their possible machinations. If I have a concern, I speak to the other party about it. It's...

This is why others have said it's about trust. I would not play in a group where we weren't implicitly comfortable trusting each other with stuff like this. If I want to know which version of arbitrary my GM is being, I expect to be able to ask them and receive an honest answer. Worrying that...

I If you consider the two different definitions of arbitrary to be indistinguishable, we have again reached an absolute impasse. If you consider that any GM with the power to make decisions by fiat is definitionally the same as a GM making decisions on completely random whim, giving a GM the...

All good. I've stated my opinion on the phrasing, you've clarified your position, I'm happy to move on. :)

First, lets be clear: Commonly, "arbitrary" means without any reason, driven by sudden impulse and whim. I would hope that's more-or-less the way it's being used throughout the conversation. Under this definition, if the decisions being made were arbitrary, it might not be clear immediately...

I absolutely understand how that can apply to certain playstyles and that some people will indeed feel it's dull as dishwater. I have no doubt there are some styles of play that would make me feel that way, and I'm absolutely certain some of the games I run would feel that way to some players...