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Imagine telling your DM "No thanks. I'm here to react to the world, not to help create it." That doesn't sound like my kind of game.

I'd have to check my account balance first to be sure, but I think I could finally pay off my student loans.

Today I learned that I'm not a good DM.

Hm. I've run a dozen different gaming groups for nearly 30 years, and I've never met a player who didn't enjoy contributing to the narrative when prompted. (I refuse to adopt Alexanderian's vernacular for this phenomenon. Stop trying to make Fetch happen, it's never gonna happen.) I think...

INaction Surge: on your initiative, spend 10 minutes asking questions that would have been answered had you been paying attention.

My beef with HOAs is that they artificially inflate mortgage payments in Certain neighborhoods, so that Certain people can't buy houses there. It's illegal to discriminate based on race, religion, etc., but HOAs offer a convenient (and legal) workaround. Sure, everyone smiles and winks and...

Seriously: rage against the HOA. On principle. When we were shopping around for a realtor, I told potential candidates that a HOA was a deal-breaker, we wouldn't buy a property if it came shackled to a homeowner's association. All but one of them looked at me like I was out of my mind.

You want a funky car? I got your funky car right here. My personal favorite, the 1967 Plymouth Barracuda. She's purdy. Someday, somehow, I will own one.

Okay this one might be too real