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I think I've discovered D&D's motive to decouple character level from AC, STR, and even HP: it allows characters like this to be super powerful, even if they don't look it. "So what if she's mostly naked? She kicks butt!"

Does NOT DnD publish transcripts? I'd like to read all about it.

I mean, when four dudes and dudettes enter the room brandishing sharpened steel . . . they don't look like they want to talk.

Definitely not a $15-per-person movie. Blasphemy. Aliens is a classic.

Sounds pretty OSR to me. Is there a reason you couldn't start over with the same characters to save time? Play a zombie version of your dead character?

Matter of opinion, I guess. D&D has a decent amount of lore that ties to some mechanisms. High character level is a powerful entity. Spellcasting ties pretty well to the fictional wizards (and was even named after some). But for all the flashy, high-fantasy action that the lore implies, the...

Then the issue doesn't come up because it begins with a game that one doesn't enjoy. Can playing it wrong be more fun? Oh yeah. I'd even recommend it, as long as the whole group is on board. Erm, D&D is more fun when not played by its intended rules and playloops. I don't think it has a...

Well, I don't like checkers-like combat. Combatants should be free to move where and when they want. So yes, the wizard might catch a glimpse of both creatures at the same time. Are they both going to stand around like archery butts while spells resolve? Probably not. Allowing it was the...

Ouch. How about, "and even an LOTR-inspired TV series?" What drives people to Draconian RPGs now? Final Fantasy, the Elder Scrolls, and World of Warcraft. Video games.

A for effort, but I'll take the card table over this. By the way, that ship becomes easier for you to reach if the DM side is on the corner of the table instead of the end.

Modos RPG agrees with this but: Defender must choose to parry - otherwise damage is 1 minimum. GM or PC can halfmax, which simplifies the rolling part for, well, half the die's maximum. Still simple, still no table lookups.

Agreed, and I'd much rather handle these details on the fiction side of things than the rules side. Is that just turn-based combat? Turn-based-plus-opportunity-attacks? Does Dungeon World scratch that itch?

I'd somehow want them in my game even less? It shouldn't be a problem, except for the weird D&D concept of being able to attack MOAR by wielding more than one weapon.

Even with the cost of that lantern being easier to destroy than one held in hand?

Words. But not too many, or the PCs won't need to explore. I use dice for quick reference on character positions.

I might be reading the question wrong, but I allow PCs to do whatever they want. And suffer the consequences. Unless the wizard (which doesn't seem to exist anymore) is wearing the belted lantern, there's going to be some armor between the lantern and the pants. And that armor will feel nice...

I have faith in the Cowbox.

Not new, but Salt and Sanctuary is worth every penny.

There's a good day to work at Microsoft?