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The Bible.

You want to run World of Warcraft. They want to play Second Life. Not compatible game styles, but I'm certainly happy you stayed friends. It's not worth losing good people from your life over Jerk Bards and Troublesome Beavers.* ... *Adds to list of band names.

Promising article, but regrettably I am deducting two stars for insufficient Don Henley commentary.

Villains - in fiction, unfortunately not in the real world - are narratively supposed to lose. Why would you want to play the losing side? And if you DO want to always play the losing side...welcome to the DM'ing club!

Crisp.

That is to orange Vermont!

I'm betting it will be released as "Dungeons & Dragons: The 50th Anniversary Edition" and they will be cheerfully ignoring the question of whether it is 5th, 5.5 or 6th. Why fight an Edition War you can avoid? If they genuinely cared about "backward compatibility" they would also release a...

"Bard" is a surprisingly controversial term. I think we should replace it with something that unites people instead of dividing them. That's why my vote is for "Warlord".

I "apologize" for using the "wrong words" "You're" using quotation "marks" wrong.

"Groundhog Day D&D! The players keep repeating the same brutal day over and over again, and must struggle to find a way to break the time-loop and go on with their lives!" This is actually the ideal way to play "Tomb of Horrors".

"how often do you actually use the stats of Good Monsters, rather than just the lore?" When the players say "F' it, let's do him!" So ... more often than you might think. This is one of the reasons I think the current kerfuffle over monster alignment is overblown. All you have to do is switch...

CONTENT WARNING: Self harm and sub-par DM'ing Lest we forget the terrible terrible price of our evil hobby... CONTENT WARNING: Self harm and I mean...still worth it though!

"despite the examples we have of Conan, Fafhrd, Éowyn the Shieldmaiden of Rohan, Khal Drogo, Asterix the Gaul, Tarzan, John Carter of Mars, Thundarr and He-Man." I'm not sure I would classify child-marrying brother-in-law murdering Khal Drogo as a "heroic protagonist". And don't even get me...

Have you considered sports?

Had Mike Godwin been primarily a D&D player, Godwin's Law would read: "As any D&D discussion grows longer (regardless of topic or scope), the probability of a complaint about 4E or Warlords approaches 1."

The first dice? It just gets retired. The second, third, forth, et al? They get super-glued to the first one, into a terrifying Katamari Dice-macy ball to be rolled for damage by mind-bending Far Realm Abominations.

Against current common wisdom, I think there actually IS a right way to play D&D. And I'm not telling you.

"WotC won't want to rock the D&D boar anymore than Hasbro does Monopoly." I know it's just a typo. But it's one of those typos that is somehow even MORE accurate. Like "Assimar".

"Probably because like light sensitivity, they're removing unnecessary penalties that punish the player for playing the PC with no mechanical compensation." Why does all balancing have to be additive? There's nothing wrong with penalties!

Actual advice: Chuckle along at the amusing smart aleck comments. No need to be super serious right off the bat! Then when a lull comes, say to the player(s): "Ok. so what does your character REALLY say?" Odds are good that once they have the initial knee-jerk defiance out of their system...