101 B-Movies that Would Make A Good Remake

[jdavis]

I love those old movie titles, they just so easily get me excited. But from I understand, most 'normal' people don't (must be a geek thing).

Anyhoo, there's a question of course what exactly is a B-movie. I see a lot of movies here that have been mentioned, which I don't really consider B-movies, simply bad A-movies.

That said, I saw once a sci-fi b-movie which centered around an alien tough arse from some desert post-apolyptic planet, which when following some criminal from same planet ends up on earth. The catch? They are really, really tiny.

I believe that was Dollman and I believe it was a series of movies, but I could be wrong, the guy in it did a million crappy movies where he dressed the same way and he was a cop from future/space/someplace else.

Ever see Killer Klowns from Outer Space?

Please don't go there, oh the pain.

 

[Villano]

I believe that was Dollman and I believe it was a series of movies, but I could be wrong, the guy in it did a million crappy movies where he dressed the same way and he was a cop from future/space/someplace else.

Trancers. There were whole bunch in that series. Helen Hunt was in the first one and I think she even had a cameo in a sequel after she became a star.

Full Moon is the company that churned all these films out. Most of their product stinks, but they have a few that I liked like the first Subspecies (2 vampire brothers, one of whom looks like Nosferatu, fighting over a holy relic that drips the blood of saints), Puppet Master, and Castle Freak.

They are doing mostly softcore stuff like Huntress now. Huntress falls into the category of Nairwolf (that's a werewolf movie where the werewolf is never seen with fur). Her eyes turn red and she rips her clothes off and then we cut to a P.O.V. of running through the woods.

As a werewolf film, it sucks. As a naked lady film, it's okay.

Getting back on topic. Conquest would be perfect for a remake.

If you've never seen (which I wouldn't doubt since it hasn't been on video since it was first released in the '80's), it was a film by horror director Lucio "Zombie" Fulci. It's about the closest thing to the Conan novels I've seen. Gore, blood, cannibalism, monsters everywhere, nudity, and magic.

In fact, the only thing that keeps this film from being one of the best fantasy films around is the fog. Yes, fog! There's fog everywhere. In caves, on the water, on the plains. Everywhere! In some scenes, there's so much fog, you can't tell what's going on.

The plot would be pretty good for a D&D game. There's a sorceress (who only wears a feathered loincloth in the front and a metal facemask) who is worshipped by these wolf-like creatures (they could be gnolls in 3E).

The surrounding area is populated by "Quest For Fire" extras (naked and half-naked cavemen in white tribal paint). Ocra (the sorceress) uses them as sacrifices (I'm not sure for what, but she scoops out their brains), but the tribes won't fight back because they believe she is the reason the sun rises and killing her would mean eternal darkness.

Ocra, however, has visions of a man with a magic bow killing her, so she sends her gnolls out to kill anyone with a bow.

Sure enough, a guy shows up with a bow after being told by his leaders of a legend of a hero who shoots fire from his bow which has been bless by the sun god.

Toss into the mix a barbarian that the tribes fear and Orca is worried enough about to order her gnolls not to mess with him. Oh, and Ocra sends zombies, cobweb monsters, and other creatures to kill the bowman.

In the film, everything heads into left field when characters you never expected get killed. Oh, yeah, some kind of leather-clad demon or god gets summoned. And Ocra's face is revealed and you really don't want to see it. And people turn into wolves.

In case you can't guess, lots of stuff happens in this movie.

 

[demiurge1138]

Wild Wild West could be remade more true to the source material. Sure, WWW can be tongue in cheek, but it should have had a good script and it shouldn't have had phoned-in performances.
Oh, yes, and Dr. Loveless should be a crazed migdet with an agenda, not some racist parapeligic.

Demiurge out.