1st monster!

[alsih2o]

i have just posted my first fully stat'ed monster submitted to the board, it is in the creature catalog in homebrews under "haystack"
feedback and criticism would be appreciated

http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19563

i used this evil beast as a protector of an evil n.p.c.'s stable, to quite good effect.

p.s. i don't normally link to things i have posted elsewhere, but this is my first shared monster, and i figure it has the personal weight of a storyhour, so, why not?

 

[Mark]

I gave it a go. I'm no critic but hopefully my comments my be helpful.

 

[alsih2o]

pshaw, insightful and helpful, some changes made, more to come..