[3P] Free PDF

[Eosin the Red]

Hey All,

I am trying to figure out how to do some design and layout stuff. I figured why not cut to the chase and post a few free PDFs for the greater EN world community to critique. I failed abysmally in the PDFing department when the fonting got blown to hell and back but I still have something for everyone to review.

This is a magazine style article called It Is Your Destiny. It covers the use of destiny, omens, & prophecy in fantasy and how to translate that literary tool into your campaign.

Anyway, I hope you will take a few minutes to read the article and post your feelings about it [writing, art, layout, ideas, tone, etc…].

Thanks,

It Is Your Destiny

 

[Alzrius]

The amount of white space on the page seems somewhat overbearing. I once read that the eye, being naturally lazy, is attracted to white on a page; so that space should be minimized. Here, the borders (particularly the right border on the even-numbered pages and the left border on the odd-numbered ones) seems to be a large vertical strip of empty white space. I'd also recommend playing with a heavier font, or maybe emboldening the text somewhat.

 

[Eosin the Red]

I did that on purpose For hole punching but I think you are correct that there is too much white space. Hmmmm....No other comments? I am not sure that I like border treatments for PDFs. Anybody have an idea on what the "ideal" margins would be?

 

[Westgate Polks]

First off, great idea. Using the boards as a writing group just adds to their versatility.
I'll comment on your PDF in two ways: content and layout.

1. Layout. I like the over-all use of white space in your article. It provides a bit of rest for the reader's eyes. I wonder if there is a bit too much on top of the first page, but otherwise I think it is fine. If your work is geared for a traditional magazine, the left and right margins will be the same.

The use of the bar under the title and your name is a good touch. It draws immediate attention and delineates the "info" from the "meat". I personally am not too fond of having the title bump against your name; it would look better either centered or left justified.

When using columns, they should only be of equal width when their content is of equal weight. For example, the first page makes great use of the second column as a
"sidebar" to show supplementary material. Pages 3-6 have information in both columns, so they are correctly of equal width. Page 2, however, contains both information (column 1) and an illustration (column 2); I would narrow the image a bit and allow the information to attract a bit more attention. The image will gather attention as it is the only illustration in the piece.

One last item to try is a shaded text box. You use italics for quotes and "in character" content, but given the medium of a white background a bit of color might help to distinguish these excerpts a bit more. Try placing a light- or medium-grey text box under the text. This will help set it off, it will add depth to the page as a whole, and it will make it easy for the reader to follow the text and keep place.


2. Content. Overall, the ideas are very original. The notions of destiny and auspices do play a significant role in the literature but are not addressed in most game systems. I also appreciate your attention to the potential problems that could stem from using these plot devices in the campaign and your attempt to address them by shifting the attention from character to group. Since these ideas pertain mostly to character creation and long-term story-arc creation and play, they can dropped into an existing campaign with little difficulty.

Overall, I think this is a good start. I appreciate the opportunity to read it, and I will likely be using some of these elements in my own games.

 

[Turanil]

Where is the "too much white space"??? I guess the document has been corrected in between.

My own comments are those of a professional graphic designer.

So, overall it looks good.
- First page I would leave some blank space between black line and text, as much as in the bottom.
- Titles and subtitles should be more distinct, this can be achieved not only with font size and bold, but also with blank space between title and precedent text, and with underlines (where titles get one, and subtitles don't). Note about underlines, that they should remain very thin, and could be the width of the column, not just the title itself.
- Some text could be put into "boxes" or on gray background. For example, I would put the little description stories on a gray background, while the right column on the first page (with its dominion pic) could be put in a box.
- Then, adding some very small pics to put between some paragraphs (such as a dagger, skull, or scroll drawing, that sort of stuff), would make the text also easier to read. BTW: nice logo and nice pic on the second page.

Now I will have to read that text, which seems interesting.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Most of my comments have already been summed up by others. One small change I would make is to Turanil's comments about setting some of the text onto grey boxes. Since it is a PDF and, based upon your white space comment, you figure people will be printing it. As a result I would say do not use a grey background, but just include the text in a box instead. While I like the look of the grey background a lot, in a PDF it is a lot of extra ink.

Going back to the white space issue, it bothers me a little as I look at it on the screen that the magrins "wander". I realize that the left margin of odd pages and the right margins of even pages are increased for the holepunching aspect when printed, on the screen it is distracting.

I just skimmed the article, but it seems well-written. Not quite my cup of tea, but interesting. BTW, I'm just curious what you consider a retarded experience system. I always thought the old 1e system that had different scales for different classes was retarded

 

[Eosin the Red]

First, thanks for taking the time to offer your opinions.

Text boxes are going in. I probably will not shade them so that the print out is kind on the ink.

Titles and Subtitle issues are well noted. They were actually different and much bolder before the issues cropped up with the PDFing process. When I monkeyed with them a dozen times to make sure it was not some auto-tag problem with word, they just got dropped. I also noted a typo that was generated through the same process.

Comments about the title bar and header are noted and I will try something a little differnet with the next one.

I may try something a little different to avoid the wandering white space.


Thanks again....keep the comments coming.

 

[Eosin the Red]

One little bitty BUMP

 

[Kylearan]

Why the two-sided layout?

Well met!

I wonder why you decided to use a two-sided layout? I don't know anyone with a duplex printer and I don't like to run a two-part printjob (the printed pages sometimes pose problems to the printer). And I like to just drop the prints into a folder so I can browse through them and write notes on the blank back of the previous page.

One other thing: why don't you hyphenate (is that right?) words? You have lots of white space between words because of your block style layout. And I'd recommend a heavier font style for headings like "Not everything is as it appears" on the last page. Or use a different font (with serifs?) for headings to make a visual distinction between headers and text.

Kylearan

 

[Eosin the Red]

Yeah, the wandering margins got to go.

Second part on the headings - My PDFing ate the bolded different font Thanks for the suggestions.

Third part on hyphenation - Hmmmm. I don't know. Interesting suggestion.