Stalker0

Legend
We are getting there!

1) For the collossal trait, here's a slight change in language for the attack routine.

"Additionally, when a medium creature is hit by an attack, any adjacent creature is subject to the same attack, using the same attack result."

2) You have dream larva in the language here and there.

3) I like the sacrificial parry idea. Its really strong but tends to consume limbs over time, and you made regeneration fairly weak for limbs so realistically you are burning a resource you are not getting back in the same fight. I like it.

4) You have two entries for reactions, one in the reactive sections and one in the multiple heads section.

5) If you are still working on a monster and want to do more work before I comment, just keep using your WIP tag. I don't comment on those creatures.

6) On area attacks. Ok I went engineer nerd for a second, and did some napkin math. Basically going, okay take the surface area of the monster as a big block, remove the bottom, cut the area to a 4th (we are assuming the limbs are really packed near the middle of the body), and then looked at how much surface area would be between the heads, and how much could a big area actually affect? Again its very basic, I didn't get super detailed, but the heads are pretty darn far apart in that model. So based on my numbers, here is a very simple way to translate into game mechanics that is at least reasonable to scale.

Multiple Limbs: An area effect can target 1 limb for every 10 foot of radius.

Now at bigger radiuses this starts to break down, but it simple and I think that's more important. But yeah you are not reasonably going to get 3-4 limbs with a fireball like some players would naturally try to do, the heads are much more spread out on such a crazy large creature. If you do go that route, it means a meteor swarm would destroy 16 of the limbs (4x 40 foot hits), so you can decide how much you want a 9th level spell to be factor wise.

Stalker0

Legend
On the Dream Larva, something kind of fun to throw into such an epic creature. A little "Freddy Krugar" style.

Dream Resurrection: When the dream larva dies, if any creature within 100 ft is asleep or currently subject to a nightmare visage, the Dream Larva returns to life with 1 hp.

dave2008

Legend
We are getting there!

1) For the collossal trait, here's a slight change in language for the attack routine.

"Additionally, when a medium creature is hit by an attack, any adjacent creature is subject to the same attack, using the same attack result."
I like it - changed.
2) You have dream larva in the language here and there.
I had dragons, archons, and atropals in there at one point too. I think I found them all now.
4) You have two entries for reactions, one in the reactive sections and one in the multiple heads section.
Corrected
5) If you are still working on a monster and want to do more work before I comment, just keep using your WIP tag. I don't comment on those creatures.
That is the general idea.
6) On area attacks. Ok I went engineer nerd for a second, and did some napkin math. Basically going, okay take the surface area of the monster as a big block, remove the bottom, cut the area to a 4th (we are assuming the limbs are really packed near the middle of the body), and then looked at how much surface area would be between the heads, and how much could a big area actually affect? Again its very basic, I didn't get super detailed, but the heads are pretty darn far apart in that model. So based on my numbers, here is a very simple way to translate into game mechanics that is at least reasonable to scale.

Multiple Limbs: An area effect can target 1 limb for every 10 foot of radius.

Now at bigger radiuses this starts to break down, but it simple and I think that's more important. But yeah you are not reasonably going to get 3-4 limbs with a fireball like some players would naturally try to do, the heads are much more spread out on such a crazy large creature. If you do go that route, it means a meteor swarm would destroy 16 of the limbs (4x 40 foot hits), so you can decide how much you want a 9th level spell to be factor wise.
Thank you for looking into it so in-depth. I will use that.

Thank you for the comments and review. I've updated the Hecatoncheires as suggested.

dave2008

Legend
On the Dream Larva, something kind of fun to throw into such an epic creature. A little "Freddy Krugar" style.

Dream Resurrection: When the dream larva dies, if any creature within 100 ft is asleep or currently subject to a nightmare visage, the Dream Larva returns to life with 1 hp.
Love it - consider it added!

dave2008

Legend
Infernal
Large fiend (titan), any evil alignment

Armor Class 20 (natural armor)
Hit Points 406 (28d10 + 252; bloodied 203)
Speed 60 ft., fly 180 ft.

 STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 28 (+9) 25 (+7) 28 (+9) 22 (+6) 26 (+8) 29 (+9)

Savings Throws Dex +14, Con +16, Wis +15, Cha +16
Skills acrobatics +14, arcana +13, diplomacy +16, perception +15, stealth +14
Damage Resistances cold, fire; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing that is nonmagical and not adamantine
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, petrified
Senses truesight 240 ft., passive Perception 25
Languages All, telepathy 240 ft.
Challenge 23 (50,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +7

Abominable Nature. The infernal is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form, control its mind, detect its thoughts, ascertain its emotions, or magic that would put it to sleep.

Brutal. The infernal's melee attacks deal an extra 10 damage of the attacks type on a hit (included in the attack).

Adaptive Magic Immunity. Unless it wishes to be affected, the infernal is immune to cantrips. Additionally, if it is targeted by a spell or similar magic, and after any effects or conditions afflicted by the magic end for the infernal, it is immune to the spell or magic for 24 hours.

Magic Weapons. The infernal’s weapon attacks are magical.

Unstoppable. At any time, requiring no action, the infernal can take 30 hit points of damage and immediately end one condition or effect it is suffering. After taking the damage, the infernal cannot take reactions until the end of its next turn.

ACTIONS
Multiattack.
The infernal makes four melee attacks. The infernal can substitute one Fireball for two melee attacks.

Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +16 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit: 26 (2d6 + 19) slashing damage and the target must make a DC 26 Strength saving throw or be grappled.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +16 to hit, reach 5ft., one target that is incapacitated or grappled by the infernal. Hit: 28 (2d8 + 19) piercing damage and the creature must make a DC 24 Constitution saving throw or its highest available spell slot is spent, as if it had cast a spell, or the infernal regains 30 hit points, or the infernal recharges one of its spent innate spells, or the infernal ends one condition it is suffering.

Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +16 to hit, reach 10ft., one target. Hit: 28 (2d8 + 19) bludgeoning damage and the target must make a DC 26 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

Fireball. The infernal selects a point it can see within 150 feet of it. A bolt of flame streaks from its hand to the point and explodes in a 20-foot radius ball of flames. Each creature in the area must make a DC 24 Dexterity saving throw, taking 28 (8d6) fire damage on failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Innate Spellcasting. The infernal’s spell casting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 24, +16 to hit with attack spells). The infernal can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At-will: detect evil and good, dispel magic, fireball, scrying
3/day each: blight, polymorph, telekinesis, teleport
1/day each: fire storm, symbol

Summon Fiend (1/Day). The infernal conjures fiends whose combined average hit points don’t exceed 400. These fiends magically rise up from the ground or otherwise form in unoccupied spaces within 300 feet of the infernal and obey its commands until they are destroyed or until it dismisses them as a bonus action.

REACTIONS
Wing Attack.
When two or more creatures end their turn within the infernal's reach, it beats its wings. Each creature within 10 feet of the infernal must succeed on a DC 26 Dexterity saving throw or take 16 (2d6 + 9) bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone. The infernal can then fly up to half its flying speed.

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dave2008

Legend

magma golem (unknown)

Phaethon
Gargantuan elemental (titan), chaotic evil

Armor Class 22 (natural armor)
Hit Points 585 (30d20 + 270; bloodied 292)
Speed 90 ft., burrow 60 ft.

 STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 30 (+10) 25 (+7) 29 (+9) 10 (+0) 18 (+4) 27 (+8)

Savings Throws Dex +16, Int +9, Wis +13, Cha +17
Skills athletics +19, perception +13, stealth +16
Damage Resistances cold, radiant; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing that is nonmagical and not adamantine
Damage Immunities fire, poison
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, stunned
Senses truesight 500 ft., passive Perception 25
Languages Ignan, Primordial
Challenge 30 (155,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +9

Abominable Nature. The phaethon is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form, control its mind, detect its thoughts, ascertain its emotions, or magic that would put it to sleep.

Eruption. When the phaethon burrows out of the ground, the area where it erupts becomes difficult terrain for Large and smaller creatures and it any creature that starts or ends its turn in the area takes 7 (2d6) fire damage. These effects last for one minute.

Magic Resistance. The phaethon has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects and any creature that makes a spell attack against the elemental has disadvantage on the attack roll.

Magma Form. The phaethon can move through a space as narrow as 1 foot wide without squeezing. A creature that starts its turn within 10 feet of the elemental or hits it with a melee attack while within 10 feet of it takes 17 (4d6) fire damage. In addition, the phaethon can enter a hostile creature's space and stop there. Additionally, the phaethon sheds dim light in a 30-foot radius.

Tunneler. The phaethon can burrow through solid rock at half its burrow speed and leaves a 10-foot-diameter tunnel in its wake. any creature that enters or ends its turn in the tunnel within one minute of its creation takes 7 (2d6) fire damage.

ACTIONS
Multiattack.
The phaethon makes four pseudopod attacks. The phaethon can substitute two pseudopod attacks for one Fireball or Swallow attack.

Pseudopod. Melee Weapon Attack: +19 to hit, reach 15ft., one target. Hit: 28 (4d8 + 10) magical slashing damage plus 14 (4d6) fire damage and if the target is Huge or smaller it must make a DC 27 Strength saving throw or be grappled.

Fireball. The phaethon selects a point it can see within 150 feet of it. A bolt of flame streaks from its hand to the point and explodes in a 20-foot radius ball of flames. Each creature in the area must make a DC 24 Dexterity saving throw, taking 42 (12d6) fire damage on failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Swallow. The phaethon attempts to pull a Huge or smaller creature it has grappled into its body. The target must make a DC 27 Strength saving throw or be pulled into the phaethon's space, ending the grapple, and be swallowed. While swallowed, the creature is blinded and restrained, it has total cover against attacks and other effects outside the phaethon, and it takes 35 (10d6) fire damage and 35 (10d6) bludgeoning damage at the start of each of the phaethon's turns. A swallowed creature can make an additional saving throw at the end of each of its turns. On a success, the conditions end for it and the creature appears in an unoccupied space adjacent to the phaethon.

If the phaethon dies, a swallowed creature is no longer restrained by it and can escape from the corpse by using 30 feet of movement.

Innate Spellcasting. The phaethon’s spell casting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 25, +17 to hit with attack spells). The phaethon can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At-will: fireball (12d6), flame strike
3/day each: fire storm, wall of fire
1/day each: scrying

Summon Elementals (1/day). The phaethon summons 2d4 elder fire elementals or 1d4 ancient fire elementals to unoccupied spaces within 180 feet of the phaethon.

LEGENDARY ACTIONS
The phaethon can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. If the phaethon has unspent legendary actions at the end of the round, it may spend and immediately use its remaining legendary actions. The phaethon regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Attack. The phaethon makes a pseudopod attack.
Unstoppable. The phaethon removes one condition or effect it is suffering. It can do so if it has at least 1 hit point, even while unconscious or incapacitated.
Spellcasting (Costs 2 Actions). The phaethon casts a spell.
Magma Flow (Cost 3 Actions). The phaethon moves up to half its speed and can enter other creatures spaces. The first time it enters a creatures space during this movement, the creature must make a DC 27 Strength saving throw or be swallowed.

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Matrix Sorcica

Hero
I'm guessing the Infernal is not a titan? Also, why does it cast fly when it has a fly speed?

dave2008

Legend
I'm guessing the Infernal is not a titan?
Actually it is. In 5e it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with size (Though everything with the tag in 5e so far is at least Huge). Pretty much anything that was an "Abomination" in 3e is a "Titan" in 5e. From the 5e DMG, pg 11:

Nothing about size there. Here is the 3e description if you want:
Also, why does it cast fly when it has a fly speed?
Copy/paste error. The hecantocheires had the fly spell and I forgot to delete it. Thank you for catching that!

Dax Doomslayer

Hey Dave - the phaethon has a number of copy/paste errors with references to 'infernal' and in the Legendary Actions references to the atropal. In the Summon Elementals ability you reference 'fiends'. Also, the life drain in the legendary actions should be changed / removed (no life drain ability) and I'm not clear if the intent for Wail applies either.

dave2008

Legend
Hey Dave - the phaethon has a number of copy/paste errors with references to 'infernal' and in the Legendary Actions references to the atropal. In the Summon Elementals ability you reference 'fiends'. Also, the life drain in the legendary actions should be changed / removed (no life drain ability) and I'm not clear if the intent for Wail applies either.
Dax, anything under the "spoiler" tag is a work in progress. I've basically only copied and pasted other monsters so far, I haven't even started the design. i hope to get to it tonight or tomorrow.

Dax Doomslayer

Ahhh - sorry dave. You used to put a WIP next to it I think so that messed me up. My apologies.

dave2008

Legend
Ahhh - sorry dave. You used to put a WIP next to it I think so that messed me up. My apologies.
No worries - should have put the WIP up too. It is there now.

Stalker0

Legend
So I play tested a new monster concept against my party last night. It went okay, the monsters did well but the mechanics were a bit clunky and ultimately the monster was too grindy. So I've taken a pass to polish it up and streamline. See what you think. The name is in progress, I've given that honor to my party who faced it first

This monster resembles a giant cockroach, with a large flat carapace body and six legs. It has a large stinger similar to a scorpion, but with a trident like protrusion instead of a single barb.

Custom Monster X (Name Pending) - WIP (Version 2)
Large Aberration, Neutral

Armor Class 17 (Natural Armor)
Hit Points 100
Speed 50 ft., burrow 50 ft.

 STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 18 (+4) 12 (+1) 14 (+2) 4 (-3) 10 (+0) 6 (-2)

Savings Throws Con +6
Skills Perception +4
Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing that is nonmagical
Senses Darkvision 60ft, Passive Perception: 14
Languages None (understands Telepathy)
Challenge 7

Prone Vulnerability: While prone, CMXs speed is 0, and it must use an action to remove the condition.

Environmental Adaptation: If CMX is in an environment naturally attuned to an energy type (such as the plane of fire), after 1 minute CMX becomes immune to that energy type until it leaves the environment.

ACTIONS
Stinger
: Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 10ft., one target. Hit: 17 (3d8 + 4) piercing damage plus 36 (8d8) poison damage.

Reactions
Energy Absorption
: CMX can use this reaction when hit by Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, Necrotic, Radiant, Thunder, or Force damage. CMX gains resistance to the triggering damage type. In addition, its Stinger deals 3d6 (10) of the triggering damage type. This effect lasts until the end of CMXs next turn.

Anti-magic Carapace: CMX can use this reaction when hit by a magic weapon. All magic weapons that strike CMX become non-magical for 1 minute. Ranged ammunition becomes non-magical, but the ranged weapon itself is not affected. These effects last until the end of CMXs next turn.

--Designer's Notes: So I am assuming the party will be doing half damage the vast majority of the time, so I doubled its effective HP for defensive CR. Or if you want to go a little less it puts the defense at 8, but also energy absorption bumps the offense to 11 so we are still dancing around the CR 9 regardless.

This guy came around as a similar idea to the rust monster, a way to change it up by effecting the opponent's gear as much as the opponent itself. I combined that with a general energy absorption concept and created a "cockroach" that can basically live anywhere. The prone vulnerability concept is one I've been wanting to try for a while, and players really took to it, they were using athletics left and right to keep these creatures down while handling the other monsters, as these monsters were doing lots of damage to them.

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dave2008

Legend
So I play tested a new monster concept against my party last night. It went okay, the monsters did well but the mechanics were a bit clunky and ultimately the monster was too grindy. So I've taken a pass to polish it up and streamline. See what you think. The name is in progress, I've given that honor to my party who faced it first

This monster resembles a giant cockroach, with a large flat carapace body and six legs. It has a large stinger similar to a scorpion, but with a trident like protrusion instead of a single barb.

Custom Monster X (Name Pending) - WIP
Large Aberration, Neutral

Armor Class 17 (Natural Armor)
Hit Points 100
Speed 50 ft., burrow 50 ft.

 STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 18 (+4) 12 (+1) 14 (+2) 4 (-3) 10 (+0) 6 (-2)

Savings Throws Con +6
Skills Perception +4
Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing that is nonmagical
Senses Darkvision 60ft, Passive Perception: 14
Languages None (understands Telepathy)
Challenge 9 (Defensive 9, Offensive 9)

Telepathic Enslavement: A creature that can use telepathy gains advantage on all charisma checks against CMX and CMX has disadvantage on charm saves against the creature.

Prone Vulnerability: While prone, CMXs speed is 0, and it must use an action to remove the condition.

Environmental Adaptation: If CMX is in an environment naturally attuned to an energy type (such as the plane of fire), after 1 minute CMX becomes immune to that energy type until it leaves the environment.

ACTIONS
Stinger
: Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 10ft., one target. Hit: 22 (4d8 + 4) piercing damage plus 31 (7d8) poison damage.

Reactions
Energy Absorption
: When hit with energy damage, CMX gains resistance to the triggering damage type. In addition, its Stringer deals 3d6 (10) of the triggering damage type. This effect lasts until the start of CMXs next turn.

Anti-magic Carapace: When hit by a magic weapon, CMX gains damage resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing weapons. Any melee magical weapon (not an artifact) that strikes CMX becomes non-magical for 1 minute. These effects last until the start of CMXs next turn.

--Designer's Notes: So I am assuming the party will be doing half damage the vast majority of the time, so I doubled its effective HP for defensive CR. Or if you want to go a little less it puts the defense at 8, but also energy absorption bumps the offense to 11 so we are still dancing around the CR 9 regardless.

This guy came around as a similar idea to the rust monster, a way to change it up by effecting the opponent's gear as much as the opponent itself. I combined that with a general energy absorption concept and created a "cockroach" that can basically live anywhere. The prone vulnerability concept is one I've been wanting to try for a while, and players really took to it, they were using athletics left and right to keep these creatures down while handling the other monsters, as these monsters were doing lots of damage to them.
Look interesting. I will give you some more in-depth feedback tomorrow.

dave2008

Legend
Thank you for sharing! Let's take a look and see what we have. First, I am going to review and comment as if this was to be published. Therefore, so of the comments might not be needed for you, but someone else wanting to use it.
So I play tested a new monster concept against my party last night. It went okay, the monsters did well but the mechanics were a bit clunky and ultimately the monster was too grindy. So I've taken a pass to polish it up and streamline. See what you think. The name is in progress, I've given that honor to my party who faced it first

This monster resembles a giant cockroach, with a large flat carapace body and six legs. It has a large stinger similar to a scorpion, but with a trident like protrusion instead of a single barb.
Got it - sounds interesting. Once you give it a name can I post it on this thread (credit to you of course)?
Custom Monster X (Name Pending) - WIP
Large Aberration, Neutral

Armor Class 17 (Natural Armor)
Hit Points 100
Speed 50 ft., burrow 50 ft.
Burrow speeds can be nasty and fit the theme you seem to be going for.
 STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 18 (+4) 12 (+1) 14 (+2) 4 (-3) 10 (+0) 6 (-2)
Everything looks good here
Savings ThrowsCon +6

Skills Perception +4
Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing that is nonmagical
Senses Darkvision 60ft, Passive Perception: 14
Languages None (understands Telepathy)
Challenge 9 (Defensive 9, Offensive 9)
I would probably give it another save proficiency, either Wis or Dex I think. But not a requirement. Obviously listing defensive and offensive CR is not standard (but I can see it being helpful to DMs) and you didn't list the XP. No big deal there. However, I would probably have this guy at CR 8. I calculated it at CR 8.5 and would round down because of prone vulnerability.

Telepathic Enslavement: A creature that can use telepathy gains advantage on all charisma checks against CMX and CMX has disadvantage on charm saves against the creature.
Personally I am not understanding the reason for this one, maybe it has something to do with an idea you have not explained. It seems like it could be a significant vulnerability in the right situation.
Prone Vulnerability: While prone, CMXs speed is 0, and it must use an action to remove the condition.
This is interesting and fun, but it is also a big nerf. I didn't do it, but I think there is an argument for taking out a whole round of attacks when figuring its offensive CR. If you do that, I get a CR of 7 for this monster.
Environmental Adaptation: If CMX is in an environment naturally attuned to an energy type (such as the plane of fire), after 1 minute CMX becomes immune to that energy type until it leaves the environment.
Like it. Question: Is "energy type" defined anywhere in the PHB or DMG? More on that later.
ACTIONS
Stinger
: Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 10ft., one target. Hit: 22 (4d8 + 4) piercing damage plus 31 (7d8) poison damage.
Ok a have a few comments on this:
1. I generally prefer to have more than one attack option and at least one option that does more than just damage. This attack doesn't even inflict the poisoned condition. So I would like to see it have a least one more method of attack or course of action.
2. Shouldn't this be +8 to hit?
3. I like high damage single attacks, however...
4. I don't like that the attack does 22 (4d8 + 4) piercing damage. To me that implies the stinger is about 4x the size of a sword (i.e. a Gargantuan sword). I realize that is not a requirement in 5e monster design, but I like my damage to make sense and this doesn't make sense to me. If you want more DPR I would give it a multiattack option, most CR 9 monsters have them.
5. I don't see anything in this attack the reflects the stinger is like a trident. You made a point of noting that, I would like to see it represented in the mechanics if possible. Maybe a save or be grappled / restrained?
Could it have a grapple option? Combine that with a bite or advantage on the sting? Or maybe knock enemies prone with a claw attack to set up the stinger? Or just add the poisoned condition to the stinger.
Reactions
Energy Absorption
: When hit with energy damage, CMX gains resistance to the triggering damage type. In addition, its Stringer deals 3d6 (10) of the triggering damage type. This effect lasts until the start of CMXs next turn.
I like it. Similar to the 4e demon variable damage resistance. I do have two comments:
1. Does the CMX take the energy damage first and then become immune or is it immediately immune?
2. What is energy damage? Is it defined (IDK). I could see arguments over what that is, so I would rather list out the damage types. For instance are force and psychic "energies?"
Anti-magic Carapace: When hit by a magic weapon, CMX gains damage resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing weapons. Any melee magical weapon (not an artifact) that strikes CMX becomes non-magical for 1 minute. These effects last until the start of CMXs next turn.
I can see this being an interesting (and frustrating) twist. Is there a reason to limit it to melee weapons? If I hit over the head with my magic box, is it still magical? Is a magic arrow that hits it still magical? I also guess I am a bit more evil, I might not limit the effects to just 1 minute
--Designer's Notes: So I am assuming the party will be doing half damage the vast majority of the time, so I doubled its effective HP for defensive CR. Or if you want to go a little less it puts the defense at 8, but also energy absorption bumps the offense to 11 so we are still dancing around the CR 9 regardless.

This guy came around as a similar idea to the rust monster, a way to change it up by effecting the opponent's gear as much as the opponent itself. I combined that with a general energy absorption concept and created a "cockroach" that can basically live anywhere. The prone vulnerability concept is one I've been wanting to try for a while, and players really took to it, they were using athletics left and right to keep these creatures down while handling the other monsters, as these monsters were doing lots of damage to them.
Like your description this seems more like a support monster than a 1v1 type. After looking over it I really think the CR is too high. It has a fun puzzle that can make it a fairly trivial encounter on its own, but helps the PCs out in a large numbers situation. It sounds like you used it perfectly. Nice work!

Stalker0

Legend
Thank you for the detailed review! Lets dig in.
Personally I am not understanding the reason for this one, maybe it has something to do with an idea you have not explained. It seems like it could be a significant vulnerability in the right situation.
The flavor that I forgot to add is that the creatures have been cultivated by Aboleths (or mainly mind flayers I hadn't settled on it yet). So that was the reason, and I also did it frankly because one of my players has telepathy. But for a more general just cockroach like monster it may be best to remove that.

This is interesting and fun, but it is also a big nerf. I didn't do it, but I think there is an argument for taking out a whole round of attacks when figuring its offensive CR. If you do that, I get a CR of 7 for this monster.
I can be on board with that. Note that on the defensive CR if we assume resistance all the time that actually doubles the effective hitpoints I believe, but with appropriate vulnerabilities we can knock it back down.

Like it. Question: Is "energy type" defined anywhere in the PHB or DMG? More on that later.
So I based this off of the Aborb Elements spell, which looking at it actually defines the energy types in the reaction itself, so I will update based on that.

1. I generally prefer to have more than one attack option and at least one option that does more than just damage. This attack doesn't even inflict the poisoned condition. So I would like to see it have a least one more method of attack or course of action.
2. Shouldn't this be +8 to hit?
3. I like high damage single attacks, however...
4. I don't like that the attack does 22 (4d8 + 4) piercing damage. To me that implies the stinger is about 4x the size of a sword (i.e. a Gargantuan sword). I realize that is not a requirement in 5e monster design, but I like my damage to make sense and this doesn't make sense to me. If you want more DPR I would give it a multiattack option, most CR 9 monsters have them.
5. I don't see anything in this attack the reflects the stinger is like a trident. You made a point of noting that, I would like to see it represented in the mechanics if possible. Maybe a save or be grappled / restrained?

So in the design I wanted the creature to just be a nice solid brute option for a DM, but with a defensive twist. I wanted to go with a single big attack because so many of the current monsters use multi-attack. However, there were mechanically a few reasons as well:

1) I wanted the Opportunity Attack to be a real threat. I found that my party members would often move in, prone the creature, and then leave to deal with something else. I want the creature's counter OA to be something the party has to think about (even if the attack is at disadvantage for the prone).

2) It helps scale the energy boost, otherwise the creature gains +20 damage instead of +10. Now I could have the energy damage only apply to the first attack (which is how absorb elements works), but I want to keep things as simple as possible, as deal with the defensive options is already some DM work.

3) Very few monsters at this level are an actual "kill threat". This monster does enough damage on its attack to actually kill a 0 hp party member with a good roll. So in this case, the "condition" it can impose is death...and I think that is plenty scary, so no reason to throw in more tricks. In fact it may be too much damage for a CR 7 considering its a kill threat, I'll have to think about that one.

Now I am fine adjusting the damage to be more poison and less piercing if that helps the flavor. The trident thing was just because I don't have a picture to show, so I was trying to be descriptive

I can see this being an interesting (and frustrating) twist. Is there a reason to limit it to melee weapons? If I hit over the head with my magic box, is it still magical? Is a magic arrow that hits it still magical? I also guess I am a bit more evil, I might not limit the effects to just 1 minute

the reason I limited it to magic melee, was it seemed weird to me that an arrow fired from a bow would turn the magical bow non-magical. The idea is that the arrow does turn non-magical (that's why I actually upgrade the resistance in the description), but it doesn't turn the bow itself non-magical. Perhaps I need new wording, any suggestions there?

Alright I've made a few rewrites, see what you think.

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dave2008

Legend
Thank you for the detailed review! Lets dig in.

The flavor that I forgot to add is that the creatures have been cultivated by Aboleths (or mainly mind flayers I hadn't settled on it yet). So that was the reason, and I also did it frankly because one of my players has telepathy. But for a more general just cockroach like monster it may be best to remove that.
Got it!
I can be on board with that. Note that on the defensive CR if we assume resistance all the time that actually doubles the effective hitpoints I believe, but with appropriate vulnerabilities we can knock it back down.
It is a trick one to pin down CR wise because of the resistances and nerfs. I feels somewhere between 7-8 to me.
So I based this off of the Aborb Elements spell, which looking at it actually defines the energy types in the reaction itself, so I will update based on that.
That is what I was thinking
So in the design I wanted the creature to just be a nice solid brute option for a DM, but with a defensive twist. I wanted to go with a single big attack because so many of the current monsters use multi-attack. However, there were mechanically a few reasons as well:
I can get behind that
1) I wanted the Opportunity Attack to be a real threat. I found that my party members would often move in, prone the creature, and then leave to deal with something else. I want the creature's counter OA to be something the party has to think about (even if the attack is at disadvantage for the prone).
That is a good point - the OA is something to be feared.
3) Very few monsters at this level are an actual "kill threat". This monster does enough damage on its attack to actually kill a 0 hp party member with a good roll. So in this case, the "condition" it can impose is death...and I think that is plenty scary, so no reason to throw in more tricks. In fact it may be too much damage for a CR 7 considering its a kill threat, I'll have to think about that one.

Now I am fine adjusting the damage to be more poison and less piercing if that helps the flavor. The trident thing was just because I don't have a picture to show, so I was trying to be descriptive
My biggest issue was always how the damage was obtained, not the total. I just like to have some consistency in figuring my b,p, & s damage, I would up the poison damage, but that is just me personally.
the reason I limited it to magic melee, was it seemed weird to me that an arrow fired from a bow would turn the magical bow non-magical. The idea is that the arrow does turn non-magical (that's why I actually upgrade the resistance in the description), but it doesn't turn the bow itself non-magical. Perhaps I need new wording, any suggestions there?
I wasn't suggesting the bow becomes non-magical, just the arrow. I just don't think you need to specify it. Everyone realizes you don't hit the monster with the bow, just the arrow you are shoting. So basically anything that hits it becomes non-magical, done.
Alright I've made a few rewrites, see what you think.
I will check it out.

dave2008

Legend
Custom Monster X (Name Pending) - WIP (Version 2)
Large Aberration, Neutral
I like all of the revisions.
Anti-magic Carapace: CMX can use this reaction when hit by a magic weapon. All magic weapons that strike CMX become non-magical for 1 minute. Ranged ammunition becomes non-magical, but the ranged weapon itself is not affected. These effects last until the end of CMXs next turn.
I personally don't think you need the bold part, but I understand some would like it. I might simply say
:
Anti-magic Carapace. When the CMX is hit by a magic item, it drains all magic from the item and any magical item that hits it until the end of its next turn. An item drained in this way becomes non-magical for 1 minute.

dave2008

Legend

Ref Sheet: Vandir by Remarin

Phane
Large monstrosity (titan), chaotic evil

Armor Class 17
Hit Points 297 (22d10 + 176; bloodied 148)
Speed 80 ft., fly 120 ft.

 STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 1 (-5) 24 (+7) 26 (+8) 22 (+6) 16 (+3) 28 (+9)

Savings Throws Dex +13, Con +14, Wis +9
Skills acrobatics +13, arcana +12, perception +9, stealth +19
Damage Resistances acid, cold, fire; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing
Damage Immunities necrotic, poison; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing that is nonmagical and not adamantine
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, grappled, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, prone
Senses blindsight 240 ft., truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 19
Languages All, telepathy 240 ft.
Challenge 20 (25,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +6

Abominable Nature. The phane is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form, control its mind, detect its thoughts, ascertain its emotions, or magic that would put it to sleep.

Shadowy Movement. The phane can move through other creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain. It takes 5 (1d10) force damage if it ends its turn inside an object. Additionally, the phane can Disengage or Hide as bonus action in dim light or darkness.

Limited Magic Immunity. The phane is immune to cantrips. Additionally, the phane has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects and any creature that makes a spell attack against the phane has disadvantage on the attack roll.

Magic Weapons. The phane’s weapon attacks are magical.

Null Time Field. When a creature starts its turn within 30 feet of the phane, it must make a DC 19 Intelligence saving throw or be stuck in time until the start of its next turn. A creature stuck in time cannot move or take Actions, and cannot be acted upon except by the phane’s Stasis Touch or a Wish spell.

Time Step (Recharge 4-6). The phane can use a bonus action to teleport to a space it can see within 120 feet of it.

Time Stop (1/Day). The phane uses a bonus action to slow the passage of time. On its next turn it can move twice its speed and take two actions.

ACTIONS
Multiattack.
The phane makes two attacks: any combination of Stasis Touch or Chronal Bolt attacks.

Stasis Touch Melee Spell Attack: +15 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: The target is put into a state of suspended animation. For the creature, time ceases to flow and its condition becomes fixed. The creature cannot act, it does not grow older, its body functions virtually cease, and no force or effect can harm it. The state persists until the magic is removed by an 8th level dispel magic spell, wish, or similar powerful magic. Additionally, at the end of each of its turns the creature may attempt a DC 23 Intelligence saving throw, ending the effect on itself on a success.

Chronal Bolt. Ranged Spell Attack: +15 to hit, range 120 ft., one target. Hit: 49 (14d6) force damage and the target’s speed is reduced in half and it cannot take bonus actions or reactions until the end of its next turn.

Time Leap (1/Short or Long Rest). The phane leaps through time gaining knowledge of the future. Until the end of the phane's next turn, the phane has advantage on all of its attacks, it automatically makes all saving throws, and all attacks that target it and saving throws against effect it causes have disadvantage.

Summon Time Duplicate (1/Day). The phane summons a duplicate of a creature it has encountered in the past. The summoned creature must be CR 15 or below. The summoned creature is completely loyal to the phane, and obeys its commands as in the spell Dominate Monster. The summoned creature is banished if the phane is reduced to 0 hit points or the phane dismiss it as a bonus action.

BONUS ACTIONS
Time Leach.
The phane siphons time from a creature that is within 120 feet of it and under the effects of its Stasis Touch. The creature suffers one level of exhaustion and ages 10 years each time the phane uses the effect. If a creature dies from this effect, it is released from the stasis and its body is a desiccated husk that turns to dust from the slightest touch or breeze, and the phane regains 50 hit points.

REACTIONS
Shadowy Escape (Recharge 5-6). When the phane would be hit by an attack or is targeted by a spell, the phane is unaffected by the spell or missed by the attack and may teleport up to 30 feet. This ability does not work on area effects.

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dave2008

Legend
I have posted 3 more Epic Level Handbook abominations:

 Infernal Fiend (titan) 23 Phaethon Elemental 30 Phane Monstrosity 20

Before a I move forward with the rest of the ELH, I was requested to do an avatar of the god Kord. So I plan to post that later today if I get time.

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