A surreal moment I had to share

[Krellic]

I run a weekly game for the children of a friend of mine and their friend. There's two 11 year old lads and a younger brother who I think is 9. The friend and her husband provide a little more sensible backing.

They've not been playing long but are highly enthusiastic, they'd like to play a different type of character every week and I spend half my evening trying to reign them in and still keep it mainly fun. They've no real idea of role-play as yet but like killing things and strutting their stuff. The two elder lads are very competitive and the younger lad well...

The party have completed a couple of quests in the area and are considered local heroes. They are having a party in the local tavern and I am using this to introduce two new characters, the old ones having paled a little.

The one new character a bard has been hearing the party's stories and setting them to song when the younger lad pipes up...

Fighter: I start to juggle chickens.

DM: Chickens? (Thinking swiftly) Are they on your character sheet?

I check the character sheet and there in the equipment list is:- 25 Chickens.

Pause while DM beats head off table.

DM: Right, there are chickens.., everywhere!

It was a moment I felt I had to share with the world

 

[MojoGM]

That's a riot.

 

[BrooklynKnight]

*gets images of Legend of Zelda game*

 

[Salad Shooter]

Kind of reminds me of my first game...I had all sorts of animals following me around. I think my party eventually killed them and ate them or something...I can't remember, that was ages ago.

 

[Mystery Man]

Need stats for Chicken Swarm!

 

[Ranes]

Excellent! Good work all round. Reminds me of a conversation I had last year with someone who was telling about a friend of his in an old 1e game. This guy played a were-chicken. Bearing in mind the price of poultry (was it 2cp a chicken?), this character could launch an onslaught of pecking, fluttering, harmless clawing things on his foe - a fowl thing to do.

 

[Meeki]

this character could launch an onslaught of pecking, fluttering, harmless clawing things on his foe - a fowl thing to do.

hahaha.. boobooo bad joke boo

 

[Ranes]

I'm sorry. I have a cold.

 

[shilsen]

hahaha.. boobooo bad joke boo

I agree. I say we grab Ranes by the head and pullet off.

 

[MarauderX]

CHICKEN SWARM
Diminutive Animal (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 3d8 (13 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), fly 15 ft. (poor)
Armor Class: 16 (+4 size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/—
Attack: Swarm (1d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (1d6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction, wounding
Special Qualities: double damage from slashing and KFC special seasoning, swarm traits, featherfall, distraction
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +7, Will -5
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 1, Cha 4
Skills: Listen +11, Spot -2
Feats: Egg Laying, Cleave, Great Cleave.
Environment: Temperate plains
Organization: Solitary, flock(2–4 swarms), or colony (11–20 swarms)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always retarded
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: —

A chicken swarm can only be found during daylight hours.

Combat
A chicken swarm seeks to quietly surround a victim using random pecking as a deterant to being constantly watched. Once the swarm senses fresh blood, it will flock toward the chosen target, dealing 1d6 points of damage to any creature whose space it occupies at the end of its move.

A single male chicken(rooster) will attempt to use it's cleave and great cleave abilities whenever it can against another rooster.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 11 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Wounding (Ex): Any living creature damaged by a chicken swarm continues to bleed, losing 1 hit point per round thereafter. Multiple wounds do not result in cumulative bleeding loss. The bleeding can be stopped by a DC 10 Heal check or the application of a cure spell or some other healing magic.

Colonel Sanders Special Seasoning (Ex): A chicken swarm is especially suseptible to Colonel Sanders Special Seasoning, as any swarm that contacts the seasoning immediately cooks at 450 degrees for d4+1 rounds. Any creature within 100 yards after the seasoning has been applied to the swarm must make a Will save DC=83 or immediately begin feasting on the cooked swarm for d10 minutes. A chicken swarm that has been effected by the seasoning attracts d20 wandering monsters within 10 minutes, and d100 within an hour.

Skills: A chicken swarm has a -28 racial bonus on all intellegence and wisdom-based checks. These bonuses are doubled if it's head is chopped off.