A Treasonous Hawk

[Sekhmet]

[MENTION=87792]Neonchameleon[/MENTION] Curious predators often put themselves in situations where they don't see a potential danger, rather than choosing to ignore it. Birds especially.

 

[Dozen]

Leave your hawk at home.

If you're just wanting to get rid of the hawk so you don't have to worry about the potential loss of EXP, then you won't be getting a new familiar anyway. No reason not to just leave him at home.

I think the hawk in question would object to the idea. Worth a shot to ask once, but I'd say it's a no-go. Besides, what's better? A loony hawk who is taken care of by an intellectually superior wizard and a band of adventurers, or a loony hawk living completely by himself in the house of a spellcaster? Or should he ask his family to take care of this avian of the century? That would be hell of a visit. 'Hey, Mom, long time no see, sorry I didn't Message. I was wondering, could you take care of Lola while I go kill monsters in someone's oversized basement?'

 

[Sekhmet]

[MENTION=6698275]Dozen[/MENTION] The one where the hawk isn't in imminent danger throughout every day, where spells, arrows, axes, and giant clubs aren't the norm.

 

[Cadence]

@Neonchameleon Curious predators often put themselves in situations where they don't see a potential danger, rather than choosing to ignore it. Birds especially.

It's got an Int of at least 6 though... so it should be a bit brighter about some of these things than the typical Int 2 bird of pray.

If the DMs doing it for fun and comedy, could you use empathic link so that if you feel the hunger and thrill of imminent feasting you can send it angry thoughts?

 

[Dozen]

@Dozen The one where the hawk isn't in imminent danger throughout every day, where spells, arrows, axes, and giant clubs aren't the norm.

Yeah, because Adventurers are so seldom around innocent bystanders and half-competent sidekicks they need to take care of you wouldn't expect them to be good at procedures of the sort.
In a more serious tone, (and while I would argue that based on what we know of him, Lola could get himself killed in a common man's cottage, not just a wizard's home) if you have a liability, no matter the size, you better keep it close to yourself and in check instead of miles away. Think back how many times have people kept artifacts, philacteries and other McGuffins in dungeons! Got it? And how did that work out for them?
It doesn't matter how far the hawk gets killed, and if my enemies wanted him dead, I'd want to be around, or rather, I'd want him to be around, because I'm better than a locked door and some traps. Simple as that is.

 

[Sekhmet]

[MENTION=6698275]Dozen[/MENTION] Consider those artifacts and phylacteries being held on by the individual adventurer, rather than the plot specific NPC.
Adventurers face danger many times throughout the day, where plot specific NPCs only face danger once (when they're designed to fight the PC).
Artifacts and phylacteries (and other valuable items) are only obtained upon killing their guardian - something easily fabricated in a dungeon sense. A Lich doesn't want to have his phylactery on site when he dies, he wants it as far away (and in as safe a place) as possible, because if he is dead; he is obviously facing something capable of destroying his phylactery.

The hawk can be taken out by a stray arrow.
Artifacts and phylacteries and the like generally cannot be.

Adventurers target powerful items and foes to hunt, prepare heroic quests for, and the like.
Hawks are neither. How many "we prepared and traveled for weeks to get the wizard's abode, disabled his murderous traps, conquered his golems and mephits, risked our lives and the lives of our friends so that we could murder the wizard's bird" stories have you ever heard?

Let it have a small, protected forest that it can happily fly and hunt in, perhaps a section of a local regent's personal woods, and call it a day.

 

[Dozen]

@Sekhmet I can't help but admit defeat this time. Well said. I'd give you XP if I could, aparrently I have to 'spread some points around' first.

 

[nijineko]

according to the rules, the familiar is under the player's control, not the dm's, as it is a player class feature.

you might also request a phb2 retraining quest to swap the familiar out for an acf.

 

[Xanti]

Thanks! That sounds like a good laundry list of options!

One question left. What's an acf?

 

[Dozen]

One question left. What's an acf?

Alternate Class Feature. Essentially you take away a Class Feature altogether and get something else in it's place. I know of the following options which replace wizard familiars and fix your problem:

Immediate Magic(from PHBII): Allows you to cast a spell effect as an Immediate Action based on your spec(generalists can't take it).
Wizard of Sun and Moon(from Dungeonscape): Lets you cast two spells in one non-0th-level spell slot per spell level, one of which you can cast at night and underground, and one that you can cast in daylight.(If you play an enchanter or an illusionist, this thing becomes awesome, but otherwise you better might be better off with that hawk, unless you have a very specific playstyle.)
Arcane Reabsorbtion(From Dungeon Magazine): Whenever your spells had no effect, you can reabsorb it into your spell slots as an Immediate Action if you pass a 20+3*spell level Spellcraft check.(How are you supposed to pass the check at lower levels and reliable rate is beyond me; maybe I'm just not enough of a munchkin.)