jasper
Rotten DM
Darryl Adventures
Note the following is from the point of view of the magic rapier.
It will contain spoilers from the sunless citadel, forge of fury, and speaker in my dreams.
You Dude and Dudettes! It been decades and decades since I was dropped on top the decaying dwarf who smelled like toast. My last owner was brain dead enough to take on some old balding grey beards dwarves. You know mad, um man, you don't try to take some one else stash else old farts, you can trust them, like they sneaky.
Um you guys got any brownies?
Bummer.
Well these old farts just bulk themselves up. I mean right in front of me and my owner. Let me see his name was…
Any way he got chopped to bits, and they laughed and tossed him, his girl friend, and me down the stairs. That um that dude was just not right. They had no respect for me. Darryl The Dragon Slayer. Well, to my new owner, and his buds.
Any how way I laying on this dead dwarf with no legs, try to think of growing some legs and blow this scene .
Suddenly I see like a bright like and hear the stone lid moving cool man.
Squeaky clean voice, "BUT it is looting and not good. " the lid screeched and light disappeared.
Elf babe voice, " but he is dead and we need it. It has to be better that sword of yours who wanted to kill every body. You start running around wanting to kill all men."
Squeaky clean voice, "It was curse, besides my god send that armadillo which rusted Amber armour and my…"
Squeaky halfling babe voice, "Let me help, Colin, Colin let me help"
Elf accent dude baby, "Come on Tickle beer shove."
I see a half elf and the sight of hopping halfling trying to peer a me. Sudden the lid squeaked again and the light goes away. Squeaky clean voice, "It's looting!"
The light appears again. My rescuers!
Squeaky clean, "IS!"
Elf Babe, "Is Not!"
Squeaky clean, "IS!"
Elf Babe, "Is Not!"
Squeaky clean, "IS!"
Elf Babe, "Is Not!"
Then Flop ear elf dude grabs me and holds me up. I look around and see a couple of halflings, two humans, one halfling dudette, the other is squeak clean male human, a female elf. And the elf babe and squeak voice are arguing over me.
Squeaky clean, "IS!" Then he picks her up and tosses her into the monster's arms. It looked horrible. A snake with tentacles and there two of them. These rejects of the Mystery Machine had not posted a guard and are about to get wasted. Well, the elf babe faints, the squeaky clean voice goes fished eye. And party starts. Well the dudes and Dudettes win. Then Floppy Ears.
You should see floppy ears. Think of elf, add a silly expression to his face. Then grow his ears. And grow his ears again. Dude if he gets a hair cut his points will be bobbed.
Hey dude you got any munchies?
Any way Floppy asks," I wonder what it is?" Man he has cold hands and has not bathed. But man, it is better that dead dwarf smell.
I replied, "YO! DUDE! I AM DARRYL THE DRAGON SLAYER! AND THERE IS A DRAGON NEARBY!"
The elf babe, and squeaky voice turned white. Floppy eyes glazed over like he had taken a hit from some high quality stuff. The halfling dudette, called tickle beer, made a wet spot on the floor.
More to come.
Note the following is from the point of view of the magic rapier.
It will contain spoilers from the sunless citadel, forge of fury, and speaker in my dreams.
You Dude and Dudettes! It been decades and decades since I was dropped on top the decaying dwarf who smelled like toast. My last owner was brain dead enough to take on some old balding grey beards dwarves. You know mad, um man, you don't try to take some one else stash else old farts, you can trust them, like they sneaky.
Um you guys got any brownies?
Bummer.
Well these old farts just bulk themselves up. I mean right in front of me and my owner. Let me see his name was…
Any way he got chopped to bits, and they laughed and tossed him, his girl friend, and me down the stairs. That um that dude was just not right. They had no respect for me. Darryl The Dragon Slayer. Well, to my new owner, and his buds.
Any how way I laying on this dead dwarf with no legs, try to think of growing some legs and blow this scene .
Suddenly I see like a bright like and hear the stone lid moving cool man.
Squeaky clean voice, "BUT it is looting and not good. " the lid screeched and light disappeared.
Elf babe voice, " but he is dead and we need it. It has to be better that sword of yours who wanted to kill every body. You start running around wanting to kill all men."
Squeaky clean voice, "It was curse, besides my god send that armadillo which rusted Amber armour and my…"
Squeaky halfling babe voice, "Let me help, Colin, Colin let me help"
Elf accent dude baby, "Come on Tickle beer shove."
I see a half elf and the sight of hopping halfling trying to peer a me. Sudden the lid squeaked again and the light goes away. Squeaky clean voice, "It's looting!"
The light appears again. My rescuers!
Squeaky clean, "IS!"
Elf Babe, "Is Not!"
Squeaky clean, "IS!"
Elf Babe, "Is Not!"
Squeaky clean, "IS!"
Elf Babe, "Is Not!"
Then Flop ear elf dude grabs me and holds me up. I look around and see a couple of halflings, two humans, one halfling dudette, the other is squeak clean male human, a female elf. And the elf babe and squeak voice are arguing over me.
Squeaky clean, "IS!" Then he picks her up and tosses her into the monster's arms. It looked horrible. A snake with tentacles and there two of them. These rejects of the Mystery Machine had not posted a guard and are about to get wasted. Well, the elf babe faints, the squeaky clean voice goes fished eye. And party starts. Well the dudes and Dudettes win. Then Floppy Ears.
You should see floppy ears. Think of elf, add a silly expression to his face. Then grow his ears. And grow his ears again. Dude if he gets a hair cut his points will be bobbed.
Hey dude you got any munchies?
Any way Floppy asks," I wonder what it is?" Man he has cold hands and has not bathed. But man, it is better that dead dwarf smell.
I replied, "YO! DUDE! I AM DARRYL THE DRAGON SLAYER! AND THERE IS A DRAGON NEARBY!"
The elf babe, and squeaky voice turned white. Floppy eyes glazed over like he had taken a hit from some high quality stuff. The halfling dudette, called tickle beer, made a wet spot on the floor.
More to come.