Aging and Gaming

[The Soloist]

When I was in my teens, I imagined a future in which, when I was retired, I would play RPGs and wargames five days a week with my gaming friends. We would move into a dedicated retiring home for gamers.

I'm retired now. The reality is that they are no longer my friends. We haven't seen each other in more than twelve years, and that is not going to change. I have new 'gaming friends,' but they are at least 15 years younger.

I don't want to play five days a week. I play RPGs online with the guys every two weeks and one board game in person per month. I do a solo session about twice a week. That is enough. I have other interests. I would not move to a retiring home full of gamers.

 

[haakon1]

I imagined a future in which, when I was retired, I would play RPGs and wargames five days a week with my gaming friends. We would move into a dedicated retiring home for gamers.

Our gaming group in college thought the same. Now, at age 55, I think I on the West Coast, Bob who’s moving to Michigan, and the guy who made a career of game design in Finland (!) are the only ones still playing.

But maybe some day?

 

[Emerikol]

I'm getting up there myself. Right now I am still working hard though so it's even harder. Eventually I plan on slowing down and I at least think it will be easier. I don't generally find understanding the rules all that hard. I still read rules just for fun.

I like some new mechanical processes but I am not in the "new games are a lot better" boat. I'm old school in playstyle if not mechanics and that means the new games aren't for me. In the end I think I will write my own D&D knock off and be done with it. I've also recently learned GURPS and like it a lot so I will likely run a bunch of games in that system. 4e is a bit better than 3e imho.

 

[Starfox]

I'm 58. I live in a city with a pretty lively gaming community, but we are divided in different smaller circles of friends that don't often have players moving from one circle to another. We've also had people consciously isolating themselves from a circle when the tastes didn't match. With age we're also less happy to move around, resulting in games moving to virtual table-tops beginning during Corona. This in turn has made it possible to interact with old entirely friends out of my city. I now game with two friends I made in my teens and twenties as well as with local gamers.

 

[schneeland]

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[Queer Venger]

While I'm not that old (early 50s), I'm at the age where I now need reading glasses and my brain increasingly rebels at me trying to cram more TTRPG rules and lore into it. "Dag nab it, you still expect me to keep up with constantly changing law and technology and then come home and try to understand and compare the 4 or 5 different rule variants for channeling and casting in Warhammer Fantasy AND troubleshoot VTT modules! Why don't you get a proper hobby for someone your age. Walking. Fishing. Something like that!" "Shut up brain! Just be happy I dropped trying to run MAGE: The Ascension!"

I'm too lazy to look up the science on this; I swear I read an article on it sometime, somewhere; but I find that my recognition is better than it was in my youth, but my recall has gone to hell in a hand basket. Decades of experience being a geek and a bookworm are great for understanding new things I read and making connections, but boy do does it take a lot more time to create the grooves in the gray matter to be able to bring something to mind when I need it.

When I was young, I would read over rules a day or two before a game and run it and would run games in multiple systems. Today that feels like self elder abuse.

This is really the only major thing affecting my gaming that is 100% age related. I'm curious whether this will improve or get worse. Get worse, because I'll get older. But then once the kids are out of the house, and especially when I eventually retire, perhaps having less stress and less demands on my brain will improve things in this area.

Anyway, just musing. Would be interested on how gaming has changed for the better or worse for others getting up in years.

the neurological term is called neuroplasticity of the brain. Evidence shows that it's actually social activity that increases these pathways, less so reading rulebooks. Im also in my 50's and for me gaming (and in particular gaming in-person) is a way to keep cognitively sharp. Also, empty nest syndrome can actually accelerate cognitive decline, so keep busy socially once your kids move out.

I hope to continue gaming into my 70's and 80's (assuming I make it that far LOL).

 

[MGibster]

As a general tendency, I have noticed that my ability/willingness for suspension of disbelief went down over time, and I tend to prefer more down-to-earth settings over those with higher degrees of magic and fantastical elements, and I also place more importance on verisimilitude and consistency of theme.

Oh, my goodness! ME TOO! I certainly don't mind fantasy, I can't think of a single game I play that doesn't have some fantastical elements, but I'm not really into games where player characters go Super Saiyan on a regular basis. The primary thing keeping me interested in the Greyhawk game I'm running is my players' enthusiasm. They're having a great time and it means I'm having fun too.

I haven’t gamed in several years because my old group and I drifted apart. Thing is, while that was the catalyst, it’s not like I’ve exactly put any effort into finding a new group, and that’s on me. I’m not exactly sure why I haven’t, either. I mean, I can identify elements that contribute to that inertia, but when I think about finding a new group, I can usually find ways to circumvent those issues if I found a group I wanted to join.

I recently had numerous people from my core group change due to moving and something of a fallout due to game preferences. If one of my gaming buddies didn't have people he knew, I wouldn't have a group right now. While I don't mind gaming with younger people at game days at the local FLGS, for a regular group I'd prefer people closer to my age which limits my choices.

 

[MGibster]

I'm retired now. The reality is that they are no longer my friends. We haven't seen each other in more than twelve years, and that is not going to change. I have new 'gaming friends,' but they are at least 15 years younger.

Aristotle classified friendships into three categories: Utility, pleasure, and virtue. I'd place most of my gaming friends in the pleasure category. i.e. Our friendship is predicated on sharing the same fun activity. i.e. Gaming. When we're not gaming, we're not hanging out. It doesn't mean we don't care about each other or on occasion do other things, but the primary glue holding the friendship is our shared interest.

 

[aramis erak]

Are you against playing online? Makes it much easier to play when not near a population center with a lot of gamers and finding games other than D&D.

One of my groups is online. I'm 22 road miles from the store I run at. My store group disintegrated due to misanthropy by my eldest. Most moved to her group, which promptly fell apart, to her brother-in-law's group, which is also falling apart at the seams...

I find online play considerably harder to run, and less enjoyable as a player. I'm not averse to it, but it is decidedly lower on my ranking of desired.
Tier 1: FTF home game;
Tier 2: public location FTF game, or private boardgames;
Tier 3: Private trusted group VOIP, FTF public space boardgames, paragraph RPG adventures (Tunnels and Trolls, Fighting Fantasy/AFF, Legends of the Ancient World, The Fantasy Trip), PBP of certain boardgames;
Tier4: no game, Solo RPGing via Oracles modality, group play of video games, online play with friend and their unknown to me friends;
Tier 5: online with strangers, repeat play of most of the tier 3 solo adventures.