I've been thinking a lot about paladins lately; I'd like to play one, and advance him to high level. Anyway...
I own the aforementioned Call of Duty. It think its strengths are in giving role-playing and characterization advice. I think its weaknesses are uninspiring (to me) Prestige Classses and unbalanced Feats and Spells. But, if your campaign is high-powered, you might not mind.
WotC's Defenders of the Faith is unfairely maligned, in my opinion. If you're making a militant paladin you should check out the Divine XXX feats; I'm a particular fan of Divine Shield and Divine Might. Also, the Hunter of the Dead, Knight of the Middle Circle, and Templar PrCs are nifty ones if you want to take your paladin in different directions.
Here's a
link to something from the WotC message boards about defining the paladin code. I agree with others who have said that DM and player need to get this sorted out before the campaign begins, so that they don't have misunderstandings later.
Finally, the min/max'er in me suggests the following stat distribution for a combat-oriented paladin.
(25 point buy) Str 13, Dex 8, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 15
(28 point buy) Str 13, Dex 8, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 16
You need Wis 14 to cast 4th-level spells, but these don't kick in until Pal15, so you can bump up your Wis later. You want high Cha to power your lay on hands, divine grace, and turn undead. I've used Dex as the throwaway stat because your paladin will be wearing heavy armor anyway. Likewise, Int is not all that important for a militant paladin, because there aren't a lot of skills you need. Finally, I favor Con slightly over Str but you could easily swap them. (You do need Str 13 at minimum to qualify for feats like Power Attack.)