Angcuru
First Post
Beware of Kobolds!
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Always the First to Die - Sound Clip
- Thread starter Angcuru
- Start date
Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
A classic! ... for those with no sound:
"Five guys and a bag of dice
It's Friday night's game.
Got a cleric and a fighter, thief
But we ain't got a mage.
My friends they all looked at me,
And they said the job was mine:
'Might suck at level one;
But you'll rip at level nine!'
Well we're playing the Keep,
so we enter the town to stock up for the night.
I learn the two standard spells,
Magic Missile and Light.
Suddenly from out of the caves,
the kobolds they attack.
I screamed and s*** my pants,
And took a dagger in the back.
That's why I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Yeah I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Some guys get chain or plate,
Or a big-ass sword that does one dice eight;
I get the lantern and a ten-foot pole,
and some ropes, with this thing that does 1 dice 4, 1 dice 4
I only do 1d4:
That's why I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Mage two was an elf named Shmoo,
He found a poison trap.
Mage three was an NPC,
So I had to give him back.
Four and five went really quick,
And six was just the same.
Screw you guys, I'm going home,
And F*** THIS GAME!
Because I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Yeah, I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Yeah, I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die."
Captures that early feel of B2 and D&D great! Heck, remove the OT tag -- this is right on!
"Five guys and a bag of dice
It's Friday night's game.
Got a cleric and a fighter, thief
But we ain't got a mage.
My friends they all looked at me,
And they said the job was mine:
'Might suck at level one;
But you'll rip at level nine!'
Well we're playing the Keep,
so we enter the town to stock up for the night.
I learn the two standard spells,
Magic Missile and Light.
Suddenly from out of the caves,
the kobolds they attack.
I screamed and s*** my pants,
And took a dagger in the back.
That's why I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Yeah I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Some guys get chain or plate,
Or a big-ass sword that does one dice eight;
I get the lantern and a ten-foot pole,
and some ropes, with this thing that does 1 dice 4, 1 dice 4
I only do 1d4:
That's why I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Mage two was an elf named Shmoo,
He found a poison trap.
Mage three was an NPC,
So I had to give him back.
Four and five went really quick,
And six was just the same.
Screw you guys, I'm going home,
And F*** THIS GAME!
Because I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Yeah, I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die.
Yeah, I'm always the first to die,
Always the first to die."
Captures that early feel of B2 and D&D great! Heck, remove the OT tag -- this is right on!
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![Ishamael [At Home]](/data/avatars/m/1/1881.jpg?1565264842){kind=avatar}
Ishamael [At Home]
First Post
That was great!
Who did that?
Who did that?
Greyhawk_DM
First Post
That was hilarious....
kudos to the author!
kudos to the author!
Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
Agamon said:
My early experiences in D&D (the Keep in particular) were just like this.
"Hmmm, 2 Hp, only one spell. I'll take light; it's dual purpose: you can light the dungeon or blind people!"
No wonder I never played magic-users ...
Remathilis
Legend
My friend learned to play it on his guitar (not that hard, I'm told.) Big hit at gaming stores. Still wish I knew who did it, but I think that is lost to the sands of time...
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