Amusing Cursed Items

[megamania]

I can just see it now- the Orc horde charges at the wizard with his faithful magical dog. He prepares to blast the horde by the dog goes his leg (if you follow what I mean ) No more wizard. But the curse continues.

Same area the following year- A new wizard prepares to blast the Orc horde whom are charging ...no not charging- running away as a red dog attempts to befriend any and all clan members.

In gratitude and not understanding the curse, the mage takes in the dog as a new familiar.

until the next orc horde ....

 

[Herpes Cineplex]

Staff of Many Splinters
Eyes of Dyslexia
Hat of This Guy
Amulet of Innkeeper Annoyance
Saddle of Soreness
Bucknard's Everfull Diaper
Cloak of Nakedness (if you're naked, it covers you; if you're not, it eats your clothes and leaves you naked except for the cloak)
Wings of Falling
Unbroken Chain Mail Armor (after wearing this armor, you must pass it on to a new owner within three days; Sir Porisimo broke the chain, and two days later he lost his paladin abilities and a church tower fell on him! )
Ring of Sinus Infection

--
daern's instant coffee cup (on command, the cube becomes a cup...coffee not included)
ryan

 

[Dirigible]

Boots of Walking: According to ancien scrolls, these boots are made for walking. Indeed, that is just what they do. However, they carry a dire curse: one of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Figuring of Wondrous Power, Pumice Sloth

And THAT is just classic.

 

[sledged]

I remember once a few years ago there was a discussion that Caramon, Raistlin, and Kitara had kept secret that Raistlin was actually a woman. Appearently the premise was a provoking one that caused the discussion thread to last almost a year. At one point, someone mentioned that even Caramon didn't know about his "brother's" secret, and another asked, "How in the hell you hide from you're own twin brother the fact that you're missing a penis???" Someone else responded:

"With Poor Noh's Convincing Strap-On."



What??? it's a quarter past 3 am! What do you expect?

 

[Sejs]

Necklace of Prayer Bees
Robe of Useless Items
Corset and G-string of Dwarvenkind
Bag of Witholding
Heward's Handy Hackysack
Quaal's Feather Token: Feather
Eyes of the Beagle
Necklace of Screen Adaptation
Phylacrity of Faithlessness
Ring of Elemental Command: Californium
Stoned Horse
Wings of Frying
Rubber Bands of Bilaro
Mace of Tenor
Longsword +1, Shatnerspike
Ring of Elemental Capacitance, major
Rod of Insecurity
Ion Stone: Pink and Green Free Electron
Potable Hole
Amulet of Mighty Fish

 

[frankthedm]

Malfuntioning flying carpet. players were told it was faulty, saw it was moth eaten & still used it, it dealt 22d6 to them during 3 trial runs [ they kept going after the first crash O_O]

Each round there is a 5% chance the carpet fails and the rider falls, the magic resumes 1 minute later.

This flying carpet can accept mental or verbal commands in a very literal sence [example, slow movement must be requested each round.]. It remains where it is unless commanded to rise at least 40 of the ground. a command of 'up' causes the carpet to rise 2d8 x 10 feet in a round. The carpet if commanded to move has a slow movement of 40' and a normal move of 2d8x 10 feet [minimum 40'] If moving in any direction besides UP or DOWN in eccess of 100 feet, the rider must roll a dc 1/10th carpet speed reflex save or fall from the carpet. If commanded by the rider to go to an object or creature the carpet does so at maximum speed. [ if a touch attack is succesful {+0 to hit} treat as if rider fell into object the distance traveled that round]

 

[kolikeos]

Necklace of Prayer Bees
Robe of Useless Items
(kishke...)
Amulet of Mighty Fish

nice!

 

[arche]

Our last game was talking about this topic.

Short Sword of Suicide: Intelligent short sword that attempts to dominate the user once a day so it will can force the user to commit suicide. The sword of course will be a very useful one perhaps a +3 with some other special abilities. When we talked about it, we thought it would be great if a Paladin had it, who had a high Will save to resist the desire to commit suicide with it, but still want to keep it because of its power. Every morning he constantly tries to fight the power of the sword (like Mel Gibson in Lethal weapon).

 

[Interested2]

Ring of Three Fishes

 

[Starglim]

Tome of Gullibility: one of the many items that my poor players received from the Bag of Slightly Useful Objects, followed closely by the Frayed Carpet of Flying (snap) that they tried to repair with the Needle of Finger-Sticking.