Amusing/Un-Helpful Magic item idea help.

[Haxor295]

i put on my irratating dm hat today, and came up with this magic item and i was wondering if anyone else has un usuable items like this and would like to share them...

my item:

Prankster's String

a normal rope, 10 feet long

it gives you +26 to use rope when using it. not with other ropes.
when you let go, it unties completely.

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

Welcome!
I love this kind of stuff There have been a couple good threads recently you might want to peruse if you're looking for ideas:

I need some useless magic items.

Looking for magic items with 'quirks'.

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

Here's a few figurines:


Figurines of Wondrous Mediocrity

Horse - crafted of wood, this figurine transforms into a light horse. It will not fight or allow itself to be loaded with any packs, nor will it bear a rider, or follow instructions of any kind. It can be lead to water; however under no circumstances will it drink. Not even a miracle or wish can make the horse drink.

Hyena - this figurine is carved of reddish agate. When commanded, it will laugh in an unpleasant fashion for 1d4 hours; no command will end the laughing. This sound is as loud as normal conversation.

Polar bear - this figuring is carved from white chalk. When its nose is drawn across a surface, it leaves behind a line of white dust, useful for marking things. This item can be used many times, gradually dwindling to a nub before it is consumed completely.

 

[rgard]

From my days as a 1e DM, I made up:

Gauntlets of Chaos

I don't have the details with me, but it was based on Gauntlets of Ogre Power. The Ogre power ones increased the wearer's strength to 18.00.

With the Chaos version the player rolled dice each time he made an attack. The best % roll gave you an 18.00 strength (+3,+6) the worst roll gave the character a strength of 3. And they were cursed; couldn't take them off.

Cool at first, but very annoying for the player in the long term.

 

[Haxor295]

thanks!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Hat of Hearing

This fine looking hat causes the wearer to be subjected to auditory hallucinations of something moving somewhere behind them...

Ring of Blinking

When the wearer speaks this ring's command word, his eyes become mildly irritated.

Sandals of Teleportation

These work just like boots of teleportation, but when the command word is spoken, they teleport the wearer to a specific location on a beach. As in, the exact same spot each activation.

Figurine of Wonderous Power: Polar Bare

This is an alabaster carving of a seated bear that has a golden pole in its front paws. The pole has a diamond-encrusted knob on the end of it.

When activated, a bear appears, dressed in a harem costume, and it begins dancing around the pole (to the sound of bagpipe and drum), slowly removing its costume piece by piece as a diamond ball floats above its head. When the bear starts to remove its pants, it reverts to statuette form.

 

[Haxor295]

wow, i looked at all those items; and, man, are my players gonna hate me just wait till they find 'the ring of three washes' or 'the lamp of wishful thinking'

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Tamoachangotchi

A small crystal that has been drilled through one end, and the hole is threaded with a braided leather cord. Inside the cord is clearly visible the image of a creature that looks like a beholder that is missing a few stalks.

It asks the holder to feed it (and other tasks)- when this occurs, it coos reassuringly to the holder (+2 Morale checks for 3 hours).

If, however, the owner does not do those simple tasks, the creature disappears from its crystal prison and appears in front of the owner...a full sized Beholder appearing from thin air!

In reality, though, it is just a Gas Spore...

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

Buckler of Sparrow Deflection - grants +5 deflection bonus to AC against ranged and dive attacks by avian opponents.

Loom of Unweaving - any mundane cloth item placed in the loom is reduced to a ball of thread, string or yarn, depending upon what the fabric is made of. It takes one minute to unweave a medium-sized cloth object, or two yards of raw fabric. This time is halved for small items (or one yard of fabric), and doubled for large objects (4 yards of fabric), and so on.

Chainmail trikini - +1 AC for any creature with an udder. Takes up the neck slot or belt slot, depending upon where the udder is located.

Marionette - A marionette is usually 18inches tall, crafted of wood and brightly painted to look like a small woman or man. As long as its owner maintains concentration, the marionette can be mentally commanded to walk, dance, jump, etc in a disturbing fashion. The marionette cannot make vocal sounds, cannot attack, has an effective strength of 1, and only functions as long as it has line of sight within 30ft of its owner.

Soap of diplomacy - When used to bathe fully (in warm water, for at least 10 minutes), the soap of diplomacy grants the user +1 on all diplomacy checks made with creatures of the same race/kind as the user for 12 hours. A use of the Soap deals one damage to giants, goblinoids, orcs, and dwarves, as well as all aberrations. A bar of the Soap can be used 10 times before it is completely consumed.

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

Peg leg of the Pirate Ballerina - Any bipedal creature that has lost a leg can use this item. The wearer gains a +2 competence bonus on Balance and Intimidation checks. The wearer also gains 1 rank in Profession(Sailor) and Perform(Dance) if he doesn't already have ranks in those skills. This item does not take up an item slot.