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D&D General An Ode to Glorious Players



“My alignment’s Chaotic Neutral”
“It’s what he would be doing”
“I Crit my big Twin Fireball”

That Player wants a shoeing

The odorous unwashed body
The very whiffy pit
Pre-cast Stinking Cloud
That’s pleasant isn’t it?

There’s those who do not listen
To voices but their own
They try to cast Command
They are often most alone

There’s those who steal the thunder
And call out other’s features
“Deflect missiles. Uncanny Dodge”
Desperate unwanted preachers

Then we have the clickers,
The tappers and the swipers
The stackers, the doodlers,
The fidgeters and wipers

There’s those who come in late
Or don’t turn up at all
With no excuse or reason
Ethereal and all

Then we have the Cursed
Who cannot take a hit
Woe is me, doom and gloom
Life is always shit

We have the undecided
Almost on the verge
Zombies stuck in headlights
They need an Action Surge

Those who push the boundaries
Taking us for fools
Banish them for wanting more
And skewing all the rules

We have the limelight stealers
Bards who need the stage
Taking other’s time away
For what appears an age

Why do they surround me?
I cannot Disengage
With glorious players like these
I would like to Rage!

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