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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mark Chance" data-source="post: 1933100" data-attributes="member: 2795">If it were just the wall-to-wall historical inaccuracies, I could probably let things slide. But there's more. Oh, so much more.The dialogue was horrible. When the writers of a period piece seem to go out their way to have conversation seem authentic by having no one ever use contractions, when characters spout on and on about freedom 700 years before there was even a Magna Carta, when every speech Arthur gives is like a Shakespeare for Dummies version of the St. Crispin Day's speech, when Lancelot criticizes Arthur's religion for the way those completely ludicrous monks were treating prisoners but then later admits that he'd have left Guinevere and Lucan in jail to die.... GAAAH!And why would a Roman official and father to the one the Pope's "favorite godsons" be given land deep within enemy territory? Why do the Woad, who hate all things Roman (because they apparently want to establish a constitutional monarchy or some such thing), allow this Roman official to live deep within their territory?As previously mentioned, why would the Saxons group together in as small a space as possible while marching across thin ice?And who or what kept opening and closing the portal in Hadrian's Wall at the end of the film?Remember when Arthur and company first pass through Hadrian's Wall into Woad territory? On the Roman side of the wall, it's sunny and green, but on the Woad side of the wall it's overcast and foggy. Ooooh. Spooooky. <img src="http://home.houston.rr.com/mchance3/rolleyes.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="" /> Arrows that can be fired with enough strength and accuracy to create curtains of barbed wire in order to corral panicked cavalry? GAAAH!And who choreographed those fight scenes? No one who wants to live in a sword fight tosses his sword up, reverses the grip, spins around, and then strikes while his foe is at his back. And, yet, there goes nearly everyone doing just that very thing time and time again.Arthur gets seriously banged around, cut, and stabbed in the final battle, but shows no sign of injury at Lancelot's funeral? It's just as miraculous as Guinevere's in-between-cuts transformation from starved, tortured prisoner into an emaciated Xena.And what's with Merlin? Was there any point to his character at all? Does he get to be leader because he's covered with the most dirt?And flaming arrows are so kewl! d00d, so let's use them again at the end of the movie.And, to answer a previous question, no Keira Knightley wasn't "hot." She was built like a 14-year-old boy wrapped in leather straps. You could get the same effect from me in a push-up bra. Err. Not that I'm speaking from experience, mind you. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />Now for some sample dialogue:IOAN GRUFFUDD (V.O.): Greetings everyone. I play Lancelot, and I'll be your narrator tonight, even though I die at the end of the picture.RAY WINSTONE: As the loud, fat ruffian, I will grimace and yell angrily! Ray Winstone Smash!IOAN GRUFFUDD: And I shall whine incessantly about everything.JOEL EDGERTON: I, with my fellow knights, will blend silently into the background and be forgotten.KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: I'm not just some damsel in distress, I'm a strong, independent female character who is surprisingly progressive considering the time period.CLIVE OWEN: Sounds familiar..STEPHEN DILLANE: Yeah, my one magical power is to lift characters from successful films and insert them into this one.KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: Try wearing a corset!</blockquote>

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