Mark Chance
Boingy! Boingy!
For the utter waste of time that is King Arthur. It's been a while since I've seen a film this bad, and I watch a lot of bad films. The timeline for Pelagius was all messed. The film starts (after some voice-overed nonsense about how children from Samartia are regularly recruited by the Romans for cavalry service in Britain) with Arthur as an adult circa A.D. 450, fifteen years after Pelagius travels to Rome. But Pelagius had been in Rome since as early as A.D. 398. While Pelagius did indeed have some trouble with the Church, he was never executed as a heretic, contrary to what is claimed in the movie. What's more Pelagius was not some sort of proto-Jeffersonian advocate of the natural rights of men, and the constant spouting off about freedom this and freedom that was not only poorly written but also terribly anachronistic.
The crossbow was introduced to England by the Normans in the 11th century A.D., not by the Saxons in the 5th century A.D. And Saxons in chainmail? In the 5th century A.D.? I'm not buying that one either.
And monks volunteering to be sealed alive in a dungeon to usher the souls of pagans to the next world? Where'd they study theology? Ancient Egypt?
And if the Woad were so dangerous and hated the Romans so much, why is a Roman official and his son (one of the Pope's "favorite godsons") allowed to live so far to the north of Hadrian's Wall, deep within enemy territory? Oh yes! Let's also not forget that this Roman official was starving his serfs because he was exporting too much grain. Exporting grain from northern Britain!
Speaking of Hadrian's Wall, in the movie it took at least two draft horses struggling against the weight to pull open the gates. Yet, during the "climatic" final battle against the Saxons, the gates swing up with ease, apparently all on their own.
And let's nevermind that by the time of the events depicted in the movie, the Romans had been out of Britain for nearly 50 years. And, of course, by the mid-5th century A.D., there was no Roman Empire anymore. There were two empires, and the Western one (which included Rome) was rapidly disintegrating.
And perfectly shaved legs on a 5th-century A.D. woman?
GAAAH!
Well, I feel a little better now....
The crossbow was introduced to England by the Normans in the 11th century A.D., not by the Saxons in the 5th century A.D. And Saxons in chainmail? In the 5th century A.D.? I'm not buying that one either.
And monks volunteering to be sealed alive in a dungeon to usher the souls of pagans to the next world? Where'd they study theology? Ancient Egypt?
And if the Woad were so dangerous and hated the Romans so much, why is a Roman official and his son (one of the Pope's "favorite godsons") allowed to live so far to the north of Hadrian's Wall, deep within enemy territory? Oh yes! Let's also not forget that this Roman official was starving his serfs because he was exporting too much grain. Exporting grain from northern Britain!
Speaking of Hadrian's Wall, in the movie it took at least two draft horses struggling against the weight to pull open the gates. Yet, during the "climatic" final battle against the Saxons, the gates swing up with ease, apparently all on their own.
And let's nevermind that by the time of the events depicted in the movie, the Romans had been out of Britain for nearly 50 years. And, of course, by the mid-5th century A.D., there was no Roman Empire anymore. There were two empires, and the Western one (which included Rome) was rapidly disintegrating.
And perfectly shaved legs on a 5th-century A.D. woman?
GAAAH!
Well, I feel a little better now....
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