You know I was thinking of resorting to that. It would work, I would still get the effects I want, but the poles wouldn't be _exactly_ where I wanted them.
Then I found a map projection (or rather, somebody on cc pointed it out to me) called the Space Oblique Mercator Projection. It was developed for mapping the path carved by a satellite that orbits from pole to pole and back again. Since the Earth rotates under the satellite, the path traced is pretty much exactly the type of curve I'm looking for.
The math to implement this thing, however, is horrendous. So it will take me a while to see whether this method is fruitful or not. In the off chance that anybody here has insight into that, I'm all ears. And easier alternatives are appreciated as well.