Aptly Named Spells

[Dreaddisease]

Rules: Create the most obscenely long and arduous description of a spell that your DM will never let you research

Kill multiple things at distance with all elements spell

All things are my friends in the world spell

Dispel and annihlate (opposite aligned) items on that creature there spell.

Know plot to BBEG evil plan to detroy world spell.

Turn Dragon into chicken from 20 miles away spell.

Kill BBEG from nearest town spell.

 

[Mordane76]

Send a mouse running up the wall, over the ceiling, down the hall, up over the roof, and finally hurdling through time and space to lodge itself in the eye of the blackguard in the next city-state spell

 

[Sniktch]

Search for every item of monetary value in the entire world and deliver it into a giant chest on the Ethereal Plane that only I have the ability to open spell.

 

[EricNoah]

Spell of 100 Extra Partial Actions per Round

 

[BiggusGeekus@Work]

Biggus' Spell of Not-Me Slaying
Conjuration (Creation) [Death]
Level: Sor/Wiz 9, War 9, Geek 1
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target or Area: One living creature or one or more creatures within a 15-ft.-radius sphere
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

This spell instantly kills anyone who is not Biggus Geekus.

 

[Drawmack]

Get ten extra spells per day spell.
My god tells me the abilities of everything we will face today so that I can prepare the proper spell.
Learn to spell spell
Hill Giant Strength & Cat's Grace as a single spell.

 

[Destil]

Destil’s Darkly Discreet, Deadly Dispersal of Discriminatory Damage
Illusion (Shadow)
Level: Sor/Wiz
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 minuet
Range: Long (400 feet + 40 feet / caster level)
Effect: 400 feet + 40 feet / caster level spread, centered on the caster
Duration: 2 Rounds
Saving Throw: Fortitude Negates, Will Disbelief (see text)
SR: Yes

This spell taps into the shadow plane, weakly warping the fabric of reality and perceived reality within it’s massive area of effect. Anyone within the area of effect who is not carrying a proper warding sigil takes 2d6 damage as the planes of shadow and the prime material plane are warped and fused for a moment into a twisted conglomerate around them. A fortitude save negates this damage. Further, anyone who fails their fortitude save must make a will save or for the duration of the spell they will not realize that they have taken any damage at all from the spell (thus further action by the disabled may cause them to fall unconscious). Those who succeed in this save realize their state and react accordingly.

As a material component this spell requires a metal ‘sigil’, made of fine platinum and set with dark gemstones worth at least 2000 GP. Anyone within the area of effect who is carrying a copper replica of the sigil (these are small and only cost about 5cp each) is immune to the spells’ effects. The copper sigils must be in the same simple three-dimensional form as the original for this to function (the craft (metalworking) check to make an appropriate copper sigil is DC 5). The sigil is not required if you do not wish to make anyone within the area of effect immune to the spell. You must have a metal replica sigil, yourself, to be immune to the spell, otherwise you could take damage, as well.



Something I came up with playing around a while back... Breaks to many molds to really be able to give it a level.

 

[Kilmore]

How about the "Summoning of a Twelve-Foot Tall Gnome Named Sinifarflagufugusakazakagorgatory Who Still Wears A Regular Gnome Sized But Nothing Else Aside From A Pair Of Red Dragon Hide Chaps From His Quiet Little Homestead In The Little Gnomish Burrow of Bilaralargorgumulux Whereupon It Is Hoped That Sinifarglagufugusakazakagorgatory Will See Fit To Assist You With His Patented Seventy-Three Bladed Combination Goblin Slaying and Dungeon Hallway Cleaning And Garbage Disposal Device For The Cheap Price Of The Biggest Jug Of Gnomish Blueberry and Rhubarb Wine He Can Carry" spell?

 

[The Sigil]

The "Create Magic Box From Which I Can Pull Literally Anything Including the Sword Of Kas, Hand Of Vecna, And Most Importantly MORE Magic Boxes From Which I Can Pull Literally Anything" Spell

The "Magic Mouth That Sings This Song And To Which The Verbal Component Is The Singing Of The Entire Song And The Somatic And Material Components Consist Of Carrying Out The Song:
100 bottles of beer on the wall,
100 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
99 bottles of beer on the wall!

99 bottles of beer on the wall,
99 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
98 bottles of beer on the wall!

98 bottles of beer on the wall,
98 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
97 bottles of beer on the wall!

97 bottles of beer on the wall,
97 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
96 bottles of beer on the wall!

96 bottles of beer on the wall,
96 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
95 bottles of beer on the wall!

95 bottles of beer on the wall,
95 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
94 bottles of beer on the wall!

94 bottles of beer on the wall,
94 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
93 bottles of beer on the wall!

93 bottles of beer on the wall,
93 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
92 bottles of beer on the wall!

92 bottles of beer on the wall,
92 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
91 bottles of beer on the wall!

91 bottles of beer on the wall,
91 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
90 bottles of beer on the wall!

90 bottles of beer on the wall,
90 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
89 bottles of beer on the wall!

89 bottles of beer on the wall,
89 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
88 bottles of beer on the wall!

88 bottles of beer on the wall,
88 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
87 bottles of beer on the wall!

87 bottles of beer on the wall,
87 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
86 bottles of beer on the wall!

86 bottles of beer on the wall,
86 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
85 bottles of beer on the wall!

85 bottles of beer on the wall,
85 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
84 bottles of beer on the wall!

84 bottles of beer on the wall,
84 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
83 bottles of beer on the wall!

83 bottles of beer on the wall,
83 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
82 bottles of beer on the wall!

82 bottles of beer on the wall,
82 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
81 bottles of beer on the wall!

81 bottles of beer on the wall,
81 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
80 bottles of beer on the wall!

80 bottles of beer on the wall,
80 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
79 bottles of beer on the wall!

79 bottles of beer on the wall,
79 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
78 bottles of beer on the wall!

78 bottles of beer on the wall,
78 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
77 bottles of beer on the wall!

77 bottles of beer on the wall,
77 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
76 bottles of beer on the wall!

76 bottles of beer on the wall,
76 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
75 bottles of beer on the wall!

75 bottles of beer on the wall,
75 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
74 bottles of beer on the wall!

74 bottles of beer on the wall,
74 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
73 bottles of beer on the wall!

73 bottles of beer on the wall,
73 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
72 bottles of beer on the wall!

72 bottles of beer on the wall,
72 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
71 bottles of beer on the wall!

71 bottles of beer on the wall,
71 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
70 bottles of beer on the wall!

70 bottles of beer on the wall,
70 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
69 bottles of beer on the wall!

69 bottles of beer on the wall,
69 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
68 bottles of beer on the wall!

68 bottles of beer on the wall,
68 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
67 bottles of beer on the wall!

67 bottles of beer on the wall,
67 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
66 bottles of beer on the wall!

66 bottles of beer on the wall,
66 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
65 bottles of beer on the wall!

65 bottles of beer on the wall,
65 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
64 bottles of beer on the wall!

64 bottles of beer on the wall,
64 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
63 bottles of beer on the wall!

63 bottles of beer on the wall,
63 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
62 bottles of beer on the wall!

62 bottles of beer on the wall,
62 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
61 bottles of beer on the wall!

61 bottles of beer on the wall,
61 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
60 bottles of beer on the wall!

60 bottles of beer on the wall,
60 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
59 bottles of beer on the wall!

59 bottles of beer on the wall,
59 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
58 bottles of beer on the wall!

58 bottles of beer on the wall,
58 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
57 bottles of beer on the wall!

57 bottles of beer on the wall,
57 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
56 bottles of beer on the wall!

56 bottles of beer on the wall,
56 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
55 bottles of beer on the wall!

55 bottles of beer on the wall,
55 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
54 bottles of beer on the wall!

54 bottles of beer on the wall,
54 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
53 bottles of beer on the wall!

53 bottles of beer on the wall,
53 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
52 bottles of beer on the wall!

52 bottles of beer on the wall,
52 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
51 bottles of beer on the wall!

51 bottles of beer on the wall,
51 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
50 bottles of beer on the wall!

50 bottles of beer on the wall,
50 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
49 bottles of beer on the wall!

49 bottles of beer on the wall,
49 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
48 bottles of beer on the wall!

48 bottles of beer on the wall,
48 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
47 bottles of beer on the wall!

47 bottles of beer on the wall,
47 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
46 bottles of beer on the wall!

46 bottles of beer on the wall,
46 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
45 bottles of beer on the wall!

45 bottles of beer on the wall,
45 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
44 bottles of beer on the wall!

44 bottles of beer on the wall,
44 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
43 bottles of beer on the wall!

43 bottles of beer on the wall,
43 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
42 bottles of beer on the wall!

42 bottles of beer on the wall,
42 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
41 bottles of beer on the wall!

41 bottles of beer on the wall,
41 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
40 bottles of beer on the wall!

40 bottles of beer on the wall,
40 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
39 bottles of beer on the wall!

39 bottles of beer on the wall,
39 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
38 bottles of beer on the wall!

38 bottles of beer on the wall,
38 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
37 bottles of beer on the wall!

37 bottles of beer on the wall,
37 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
36 bottles of beer on the wall!

36 bottles of beer on the wall,
36 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
35 bottles of beer on the wall!

35 bottles of beer on the wall,
35 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
34 bottles of beer on the wall!

34 bottles of beer on the wall,
34 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
33 bottles of beer on the wall!

33 bottles of beer on the wall,
33 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
32 bottles of beer on the wall!

32 bottles of beer on the wall,
32 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
31 bottles of beer on the wall!

31 bottles of beer on the wall,
31 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
30 bottles of beer on the wall!

30 bottles of beer on the wall,
30 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
29 bottles of beer on the wall!

29 bottles of beer on the wall,
29 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
28 bottles of beer on the wall!

28 bottles of beer on the wall,
28 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
27 bottles of beer on the wall!

27 bottles of beer on the wall,
27 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
26 bottles of beer on the wall!

26 bottles of beer on the wall,
26 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
25 bottles of beer on the wall!

25 bottles of beer on the wall,
25 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
24 bottles of beer on the wall!

24 bottles of beer on the wall,
24 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
23 bottles of beer on the wall!

23 bottles of beer on the wall,
23 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
22 bottles of beer on the wall!

22 bottles of beer on the wall,
22 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
21 bottles of beer on the wall!

21 bottles of beer on the wall,
21 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
20 bottles of beer on the wall!

20 bottles of beer on the wall,
20 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
19 bottles of beer on the wall!

19 bottles of beer on the wall,
19 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
18 bottles of beer on the wall!

18 bottles of beer on the wall,
18 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
17 bottles of beer on the wall!

17 bottles of beer on the wall,
17 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
16 bottles of beer on the wall!

16 bottles of beer on the wall,
16 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
15 bottles of beer on the wall!

15 bottles of beer on the wall,
15 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
14 bottles of beer on the wall!

14 bottles of beer on the wall,
14 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
13 bottles of beer on the wall!

13 bottles of beer on the wall,
13 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
12 bottles of beer on the wall!

12 bottles of beer on the wall,
12 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
11 bottles of beer on the wall!

11 bottles of beer on the wall,
11 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
10 bottles of beer on the wall!

10 bottles of beer on the wall,
10 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
9 bottles of beer on the wall!

9 bottles of beer on the wall,
9 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
8 bottles of beer on the wall!

8 bottles of beer on the wall,
8 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
7 bottles of beer on the wall!

7 bottles of beer on the wall,
7 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
6 bottles of beer on the wall!

6 bottles of beer on the wall,
6 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
5 bottles of beer on the wall!

5 bottles of beer on the wall,
5 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
4 bottles of beer on the wall!

4 bottles of beer on the wall,
4 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
3 bottles of beer on the wall!

3 bottles of beer on the wall,
3 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
2 bottles of beer on the wall!

2 bottles of beer on the wall,
2 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
1 bottles of beer on the wall!

1 bottles of beer on the wall,
1 bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around
0 bottles of beer on the wall!

So I Am Really Rip-Roaring Drunk By The Time The Song Finishes And Everyone Will Want To Rip Off My Head Because I Am Doing Everything In Character Not To Mention I Will Really Have To Use The Toilet And Possibly Be Rushed To The Emergency Room For Alcohol Poisioning" Spell.

--The Sigil

 

[Xarlen]

Or, the 'As soon as I cast this everyone shall worship the ground I step upon therefore I shall inherit the world, rule it, and have my thralls make me toast in the mornings, warm my slippers, take me places in a very cushy chair, while the Mages' Daily paper shall be read to me, in which I will be transplanted to my harem that is a collection of the most attractive gals all around the world and I will frollic until the evening time, then dinner arrives' spell.

The 'I Win' Spell.

Elminster's Magical Mythical Multi-purposed Masterful Meddling of Meek Mooks.

Elminster's Goddess Emergency Safeguard.

Elminster's Protection Mantle of Plot Immunity.

I just had to throw these in despite my love of all things Faerun.