As a tactical player and DM....
OK, let me propose both sides:
As a DM, I run appropriate tactics. Yes, that includes Special Forces kobolds (appropriate tactics that have let these weak creatures survive in a hostile wilderness) and intelligent and quick thinking dragons. My players expect it, and like it. They have a saying: "Never take on a goblin in it's caves, or Kobolds in thier woods."
I use tactics, and so do my players. These aren't bending the rules, either.
"OK, I'm behind the enemy mage: Grapple for a pin."-OK, not a problem. He keeps the mage grappled while the fighter rips and tears through the enemy forces to reach him. Meanwhile, the monk has managed to work his way to help defend the grappler.
"I swing across the rope to hit the enemy warlord and kick him off."-Not a problem.
My monsters use tactics, and I let them know what game mechanics are used, that way when they do it, the same mechanics apply.
I do not believe that the rules were designed merely for "cast spell, move, attack" that many claim. We've pushed the rules to the limit, and for the most part, found them to work just fine.
Friday Night: "Draco will use Advanced Bullrush to push the Derabeleth (an Epic Monster) into the Hellfire (Abysmal fire brought up by a spell), locking his shield and matching his strenght for strength."-OK, easy.
"Roz will keep counterspelling the Mage-Lord, watching for any laced spells or stealth spells." Not a problem, Roz went first, kept stable to the rules of counterspelling, and still had 3 Epic Spell slots open.
"Ash will backflip out of the shadows and try to kick Azreal in the back of the head, hopefully knocking him into the Hellfire."-OK, tumble check, Knockdown check, knockback check.
"Nahagewen will stick her thumb in Dar-Kapax's eye and try to gouge it out, if he breaks her arm, that's fine." OK, contested strength check on a pin held for the third round. Nahagewen failed by 10, SNAP, -4 to all checks with that arm, -4 to STR checks. She makes a called shot (-6 due to small size) and scores a crit. Normally, one eye would cause a -2 to many checks (check Table 3-9 for effects of damaging specific areas in the DMG, it CAN be done), but she got a critical, and thumbed the eye out. Dar-Kapax makes a fortitude check to keep the hold on (+2 circumstance bonus because he HATES Nahagewen) and still holds on.
"Jarvis will put his bow against his feet and draws back an arrow, aiming for the priest's of Drox's hand that he has his holy symbol in."-No problem there, either. Jarvis has a broken left hand, so needs to use his feet to hold the bow. An epic level ranger can do this.
OK, my players use tactics, and your missing a lot, but you get the idea. Fights in my game are a whirling mass of magic, blood, steel and death. Tactics enhance it, not make it tough, and No, I don't pick on them. Although bad guys will nail someone not doing more than "cast, move, or attack" because they will assume that the person is either stupid or up to something.
As a player:
Why SHOULDN'T I use tactics that that class, and character (according to background) would know. If I'm playing a veteran swordman, veteran of the 9th Humaniod War, former member of the False Legion, and now a 8th level Fighter, why shouldn't I use tactics. That's rediculous. Use terrain to my advantage, use my weaponry and skills to my advantage. Use my opponent to my advantage.
No fight is ever fair. There is always some fool who shows up at a sword fight with a Nerf baseball bat, and he deserves what he gets.
My DM has a saying: "It's not the character, it's Ralts' playing style." I'll play just about any type of class or race, and it doesn't bother me to 30 point buy, or 3d6 straight down the line.
But I'll be dipped in chocolate and have a hole blown thrown me so I'm a donut before I stop using my brain!
Sure, I've left a couple of games because people couldn't handle the fact that my PC's stayed mobile, used tactics, and used thier brains, WITHIN the limits of attributes and PC history, but it nevered bothered me.
While playing Rifts, playing a Ex-CS SAMAS pilot, why should I drop to the ground and engage the wizard at point blank range? That's stupid! His spells have VERY low range, while my railgun reaches out to about 1000m. 3/5ths of a mile. I'm moving at max range and shooting him to pieces, and he can just scream and die.
If the DM throws a fit about this, maybe he needs to think. Or maybe he needs to adapt and overcome. Yes, it's a game, but still, play to have fun, and having fun never involved me letting someone win because otherwise I'd hurt thier feelings.
Fight smarter not harder and you'll win the day!-Ralts' gaming group.