jasper
Rotten DM
Oh hi there, Jew Lead Fries here and welcome to my show. Today we will cover what to serve when those unexpected visitors drop by. Now. Now. I not talking about those evil thieves who call themselves adventurers. Those evil thieves but when your friends drop by just before the great worm council. So a few quick recipes.
Halflings on Half Tower shields.
These used to a very fatty appetizer until third edition but thanks to Monte and Cook’s Weight Watcher program they have become a very lean appetizer. Take a dozen and pinch their little heads off. Place a dozen half-tower shields pleasing around a platter. Arrange the bodies neatly on the shields. Place the heads and heads of lettuce in the center. Serve with a honey mustard, or sour cream. Don’t forget the sword toothpicks.
Gnome Granola
A sweet recipe for those with a sweet tooth.
Take care to remove the clothing and armour. Wash in clear water with a little salt until the bubbles stop. Roll in a low fat peanut butter until total covered. Don’t lick your talons. Then roll in a pan, which is filled with chocolate chips, various nuts, and small pieces of fruit. You may want to freeze these to a half hour before serving. Gnome goes bad easy.
Drunken Dwarf
Don’t be fooled by that old legend of dwarves can drink their weight in booze every day. Clean the armour and beard off the specimen. Those beards can just collect the dirt and trash. Soak the dwarf in a keg of fine brandy or one fifty one. Make sure the liquid covers the dwarf entirely. I find a keg a foot higher that the dwarf is the best size. Soak the dwarf for at least three days but not more than a month.
Elf Soup.
A fruity dish.
Cut the elf up into small pieces or mince them nicely. Toss into the pot with rice. Add 2 parts water for each part elf and rice. Boil for 20 minutes and serve. As this is fruity tasting dish it great for those summer drop overs.
Pickled Human.
As human come in various sizes and shapes, just shove them down into bottle and pour vinegar up to 1 inch of cap. Let set for a month. So people’s palette is so fine they will be able to tell what type of occupation, the human had. These could be served over a bed of your favor greens.
Half Orc Flambé.
You will need some of those spears the adventurers keep leaving around your home. Just skewer the live orc onto the spear. Let your guest toast them as necessary.
Well they are giving me the signal that time is almost up. Tune in tomorrow for more recipes. And look for my book “ A Hundred and One Ways to Prepare Adventurers” in bookstores.
This is Jew Lead Fries saying good day and good eating.
Halflings on Half Tower shields.
These used to a very fatty appetizer until third edition but thanks to Monte and Cook’s Weight Watcher program they have become a very lean appetizer. Take a dozen and pinch their little heads off. Place a dozen half-tower shields pleasing around a platter. Arrange the bodies neatly on the shields. Place the heads and heads of lettuce in the center. Serve with a honey mustard, or sour cream. Don’t forget the sword toothpicks.
Gnome Granola
A sweet recipe for those with a sweet tooth.
Take care to remove the clothing and armour. Wash in clear water with a little salt until the bubbles stop. Roll in a low fat peanut butter until total covered. Don’t lick your talons. Then roll in a pan, which is filled with chocolate chips, various nuts, and small pieces of fruit. You may want to freeze these to a half hour before serving. Gnome goes bad easy.
Drunken Dwarf
Don’t be fooled by that old legend of dwarves can drink their weight in booze every day. Clean the armour and beard off the specimen. Those beards can just collect the dirt and trash. Soak the dwarf in a keg of fine brandy or one fifty one. Make sure the liquid covers the dwarf entirely. I find a keg a foot higher that the dwarf is the best size. Soak the dwarf for at least three days but not more than a month.
Elf Soup.
A fruity dish.
Cut the elf up into small pieces or mince them nicely. Toss into the pot with rice. Add 2 parts water for each part elf and rice. Boil for 20 minutes and serve. As this is fruity tasting dish it great for those summer drop overs.
Pickled Human.
As human come in various sizes and shapes, just shove them down into bottle and pour vinegar up to 1 inch of cap. Let set for a month. So people’s palette is so fine they will be able to tell what type of occupation, the human had. These could be served over a bed of your favor greens.
Half Orc Flambé.
You will need some of those spears the adventurers keep leaving around your home. Just skewer the live orc onto the spear. Let your guest toast them as necessary.
Well they are giving me the signal that time is almost up. Tune in tomorrow for more recipes. And look for my book “ A Hundred and One Ways to Prepare Adventurers” in bookstores.
This is Jew Lead Fries saying good day and good eating.
