best combat insult

[Hadraniel]

a buddy and I were at a con playing living city. Somehow he got to be official city watch. We would run around yelling "City Watch, stop of be disintegrated."

 

[Leopold]

'Is that the best you can do? Our wizard wields a sword better than that!'

'See this pointy end? It goes in here!'

 

[Templetroll]

In a superhero game the GM had everyone's enemies show up at the same time. The party agreed, within the hearing of many other villians, to ignore the one villian since he was 'nothing to fear'. Even though he had an advantage since he was being ignored he was unable to take anyone out. At the end of the battle he was convinced to surrender to the police. We didn't even want to waste the time to take him into custody, he had to call the cops himself.

It was most satisfying.

 

[toberane]

Nice insults, Staffan! I wonder if anyone else caught that they were from the Secret of Monkey Island.

Here they are with the appropriate responses to be given by the enemy:

"My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!"

Response: So, you got that job as a janitor, after all.

"You fight like a dairy farmer!"

Response: How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

"Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kebab!"

Response: First you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster.

"I hope you have a boat ready for quick escape!"

Response: Why, did you want to borrow one?

"My last fight ended with my hands covered in blood!"

Response: I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.

 

[Upper_Krust]

Slaine: "Kiss my axe!"

 

[Teflon Billy]

This one isn't funny, but then that's not what the thread asked for.

My fighter was duelling with an adversary who was using Expertise while fighting me. After 3 consecutive misses by me my fighter paused and said

"Why not take a second and grab a goblet of wine. Rumour has it it can impart courage to those lacking it".

He stopped using his Expertise from there out.