Cat Advice (very off topic)

[Umbran]

So, my wife is a veterinarian...

Do not go to the internet for advice. Do not go to television. Do not go to your pet groomer, or some dude at a pet store. Go to your veterinarian.

There's several different possible reasons for problems like you describe - some of them are biological, and can be diagnosed and treated. Others are environmental, and many of those can be managed too. Some of them may be in your own habits, or those of your other animals. All of them will take some work.

But no, 5 years old is not "set in their ways" or otherwise unable to change. Nor, by the way, it is too old for trees or toys for a healthy cat.

What you are describing does not sound like a happy animal - while diagnosis over the internet is not possible, the cat sounds terrified. That may be from the dogs, or your family - if you play with a cat like you do a dog, the cat will not like it. I suggest you speak to a professional veterinarian who can examine your pet, or a board-certified behaviorist (who is a veterinarian with even more training).

 

[Umbran]

He's a "cat whisperer."

So.... that's not really a thing. That's marketing, for a TV show, where they get to cherry-pick cases, and edit and show you only the good bits where everything goes super-smoothly. Dog whisperer, cat whisperer, horse whisperer - all hogwash.

Jackson Galaxy is not a qualified behavioralist. His techniques are highly questionable, and his products... well, "snake oil" is a term I've personally heard more than one veterinarian use.

 

[monsmord]

So.... that's not really a thing. That's marketing, for a TV show, where they get to cherry-pick cases, and edit and show you only the good bits where everything goes super-smoothly. Dog whisperer, cat whisperer, horse whisperer - all hogwash.

Jackson Galaxy is not a qualified behavioralist. His techniques are highly questionable, and his products... well, "snake oil" is a term I've personally heard more than one veterinarian use.

WHOA! I mean "cat whisperer" in quotes for a reason (but a hard disagree on the phenomenon being "hogwash," as reaching animals on animal terms does seem to be a thing, with the necessary study), and I've completely forgotten about his adding a line of sponsored products to the later seasons (forgotten for a reason), but his behaviorist-ism is suspect? This is news to me, and weird, as his (televised) advice jives with my personal cat experience (I didn't run across him until after my last cat ownership). And it's... well, potentially heart-breaking. I mean, I don't know the guy or owe him money or anything, I just like watching cats become happier. Imma gonna dig into this. Thanks for the heads up.

 

[Tonguez]

cats are terrible people, highly strung and often stressed out so that spitting and hissing and being socially aloof except for that one sucker who willingly indulges them is typical. It does sound like its been traumatised though, address that and even feral cats can become less stressed (although no less terrible)

 

[Umbran]

cats are terrible people

So, the real thing is... they aren't PEOPLE. Nor are they dogs.

highly strung and often stressed out so that spitting and hissing and being socially aloof except for that one sucker who willingly indulges them is typical.

So, here's the thing - with rare exceptions, cats are not naturally stressed out. Spitting, hissing, and scratching are not "just how they are". Those are things that happen because of their environment. Cats can and will be relaxed and affectionate, if there aren't things around freaking them out.

So, if your cat is stressy, maybe you should ask what's freaking your cat out.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

What Umbran said. Something(s) is(are) making your cat unhappy. You have to work out what it is and make changes. Ask your vet.

I've had a lot of cats over my life (my family are big time animal lovers) and the only time I've seen a cat act like that is when they've been scared. We once adopted a pair of feral kittens. They basically lived in a box in my folks room for a month. Hissed at anything that came near. We didn't push them or rush them. We just fed them and gave them space and quiet. Slowly but surely they came to trust us. They lived long, happy and social lives.

There's every chance you and your cat can work out the differences and settle down to a happy relationship.

 

[Imaculata]

Cat trees are not for every cat. My cat happens to like climbing and high places, so it is unsurprising that he likes a cat tree. But your cat might be different. The hissing is not normal. No matter how old and traumatized, a cat can change their ways and start to feel comfortable at a new home. But does he feel like your house is his territory? Or does he have to share it with other animals?

 

[Retreater]

Cat trees are not for every cat. My cat happens to like climbing and high places, so it is unsurprising that he likes a cat tree. But your cat might be different. The hissing is not normal. No matter how old and traumatized, a cat can change their ways and start to feel comfortable at a new home. But does he feel like your house is his territory? Or does he have to share it with other animals?

The hissing is when others come to the house. She mostly just meows (sometimes loudly) at my wife and me. She likes scratching furniture when I come home from work. She hates being taken to the vet (or anywhere for that matter), so I'm not sure if the vet will be able to get a fair view of her behavior.

 

[Dave Goff]

+1 on checking with a vet. My wife had a cat when I met her that was vicious, like left scars on people. He also had urinary tract issues and was in pain a lot of the time. After we got together we got him on a better diet and the stones stopped being an issue, and he ended up being a loving wonderful sweetie. That was at 8 or 9.
Also, I don't think 6 is middle-aged at all. That cat lived to be 21. My other two cats that passed in the last decade were 19 and 20. To me, 6 seems awfully young and no, their personalities are definitely not set in stone.

 

[Tonguez]

So, the real thing is... they aren't PEOPLE. Nor are they dogs.
.

SO you agree with me then

My post was tongue-in-cheek predicated on the fact that Cats are terrible People (they are however great Cats) .

The stress comes from interacting in an environment designed for People in a Human manner that doesnt account for the nature of Cats